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Notes and Highlights of Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear’s Live Update November 2, 2020
Notes by mr_tyler_durden and Daily Update Team
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Headlines

109,670 Cases (+1,032), 1,492 Deaths (+3)
New cases by county: 200x Jefferson, 147x Fayette, 31x Warren, 30x McCracken, 29x Kenton, 28x Bullitt, 24x Boone, 22x Floyd, 22x Hardin, 22x Whitley, 21x Daviess, 19x Hopkins, 16x Calloway, 15x Campbell, 12x Carter, 12x Graves, 12x Madison, 12x Mercer, 12x Shelby, 11x Hart, 11x Pike, 10x Boyle, 10x Jackson, 10x Lewis, 9x Bell, 9x Harlan, 9x Larue, 9x Oldham, 8x Grayson, 8x Marshall, 8x Nelson, 8x Perry, 7x Christian, 7x Clark, 7x Franklin, 7x Jessamine, 7x Letcher, 7x McCreary, 7x Wolfe, 7x Woodford, 6x Barren, 6x Boyd, 6x Breathitt, 6x Montgomery, 6x Taylor, 5x Clay, 5x Greenup, 5x Leslie, 5x Monroe, 5x Pulaski, 5x Rowan, 5x Wayne, 4x Bath, 4x Estill, 4x Henderson, 4x Knox, 4x Laurel, 4x Marion, 4x Ohio, 4x Scott, 3x Allen, 3x Bourbon, 3x Fleming, 3x Grant, 3x Henry, 3x Lincoln, 3x Logan, 3x Metcalfe, 3x Webster, 2x Adair, 2x Caldwell, 2x Casey, 2x Clinton, 2x Garrard, 2x Green, 2x Hancock, 2x Harrison, 2x Johnson, 2x Mason, 2x Menifee, 2x Muhlenberg, 2x Washington, 1x Ballard, 1x Breckinridge, 1x Cumberland, 1x Gallatin, 1x Hickman, 1x Lawrence, 1x Magoffin, 1x Martin, 1x Meade, 1x Morgan, 1x Nicholas, 1x Pendleton, 1x Powell, 1x Rockcastle, 1x Simpson, 1x Spencer, 1x Todd, 1x Trigg, 1x Trimble, 1x Union
New deaths by county: 82 M Hardin, 93 M Jessamine, 59 M (a healthcare worker) Whitley
Fast 4 Today.
- 1. Jobs: And now, today, company leaders and I announced Handle plans a $7.8M investment to add warehousing space in Jefferson County, and to increase employment by the end of 2021 with 80 high-paying jobs across its distribution and headquarters operations.
- 2. Utility Relief: It's our Healthy at Home Utility Relief Fund. We had announced this earlier, but we hadn't gotten the application process up and starting, so here's a few more details. For households with income up to 200% of the federal poverty level who have been economically impacted during COVID, we are providing $15M of CARES Act funding and assistance to help pay up to $500 for these families, for these households, past due utility bills. The maximum benefit is up to $500 for past due water or wastewater bills.
- 3. Vote: You could vote by absentee ballot, if you have an absentee ballot, and you have not mailed it- don't mail it, take it to a drop box. That's the best way to make sure that it is counted- take it there tomorrow, don't wait, take it and drop it off there to make sure your vote is counted, you requested that ballot. <...> If you haven't voted yet, and you're not voting by the end of today's early voting period, go tomorrow, but make a plan about when to go. And everybody shouldn't go just right in the morning. Wear your mask, make sure you wear it the whole time when you're there in case it's crowded.
- 4. Mask Up KY: Media Below
I want to address some news that we saw on Friday. And that was that in the past, there had been a presentation, given at the Kentucky State Police Academy that quoted Adolf Hitler and Robert E. Lee from what we can find thus far that individual presentation, we believe, was only given one single time to one single class, but it is absolutely and totally unacceptable. Unacceptable.There is no rationale or reason that is ever okay. And while we believe that this was done that one time six years ago, we’re not stopping there, we’re checking all training materials going back in time and looking at the present, and we are committed to making this right.
In the United States, an American tests positive every 1.2 seconds for COVID-19. And we are losing an American to COVID-19, every 1:47s.
This is a deadly pandemic and for those that don't believe it takes people's lives are a big part of taking people's lives, there's almost 1200 families a day that have lost somebody.
So, another tough day but another opportunity to make sure that we're banding together to beat this virus. Remember, this week, if you are in a red county, let’s buckle down, let's do what it takes to lessen the virus in your community. It's up to you. It's up to me. It's up to absolutely everybody around you. This week, all the way through Sunday, let's make sure we're following that red zone recommendation guidance, We want to cancel as many public, private events that there are, don’t do gatherings of any size this week if you're in a red County, don't have people over to your house. Make sure that if you can work virtually, you do it. And employers, this is the best opportunity not to have it spread significantly throughout your facility. Please work with us on that. Support your local businesses this week: order carry out, curbside, takeout. Make sure that you reduce your in-person contacts by as much as you possibly can.
But I know we've had some folks that, again, whether it's real, that they have questions or not that ask, “Well, wait a minute, we already have all these mandates in place, but we continue to see our cases increase, why?” Well, places where we don't have certain mandates in place, are increasing at a higher rate, that's number one. And number two, our compliance with those mandates has lessened over time. So I just want to show you just a couple of graphs. The first one up here looks at cases by week; this is total new cases with a seven-day average between us and Tennessee. And I just chose these two because we're border states, we have a mask mandate and Tennessee does not. You could see that we were both at risk for a significant escalation back in July and that is when we put our mask mandate into effect. And you can see what we avoided in terms of cases that that state went through. And while there was a period of time where they began to decrease, what we are seeing is even in the escalation right now, having that in place has us at a lower rate.
Good afternoon Governor, it’s Karen. With elections tomorrow, do you have any concerns over electioneering potentially happening since lines are expected to exceed that hundred foot legal limit from polling entrances. And if so, what measures are being taken? -- There is some though we have not seen indications that there is a coordinated attempt out there. I saw an opinion from the AG’s office that I haven't had a chance to read saying, you know, hundred feet from the polling location is the front of the location and doesn't include people in line. I'm really concerned about that. People who show up in line to vote, should not have anybody trying to get their vote either in a positive or a negative way, when they are standing in line- that's not acceptable when you've shown up to cast that vote. We’ll be watching very carefully. And for folks out there, just don't do it, don't do it. Have a little human decency, leave people who have shown up to vote alone.
Hi Governor, it's Drew Gardner, I had a question about preparations for post-election events that may happen. New York City, Indianapolis, DC all preparing for civil unrest in the streets, has there been any discussions or preparations in Kentucky for the potential of seeing that here? -- Well we are monitoring, whether it's social platforms or others. Right now we are not seeing what other places are. We don't, at this point, anticipate a civil unrest that would cause any response.
Tomorrow I'm gonna be here at four, we’re only going to go about 20 minutes, I'm just going to give the COVID update because I know it's Election Day, we're going to do it virtually just like this.
Slides from Update

Full Notes

Hi everybody, it's four o'clock at time we come together, Monday through Thursday, to remember that we're gonna get through this and we're gonna get through this together.
We're gonna get through what is a very difficult time in fighting this virus. We're going to make it. Remember we're going to make it but how many people that we lose between now and when we get this vaccine disseminated is going to be up to every single one of us. So we're going to need to do everything it takes as a part of Team Kentucky to protect those around us. I want to start tonight by thanking the Stonestreet elementary administration, teachers, and staff for their mask, thank you for working to keep your kids and each other safe during these difficult times. I want to start with some good news with our Fast Four at Four, then we're going to get into our COVID report which continues to show escalation of this very dangerous virus.
First, let's talk about some positive things that are going on in this Commonwealth. Number one is jobs. Today, amid the escalating COVID cases, and difficult news, we get to announce something really positive. The expansion of one of Kentucky's own tech startups. Making it additionally noteworthy, this company has been key in the fight against this pandemic. Healthcare asset network, doing business as Handle Global, helps healthcare providers and federal agencies manage their equipment supply chain, and other health care assets. The company was founded in Louisville in 2014, and is led by former healthcare providers and manufacturing and technology executives. Across the company's early years, Team Kentucky's entrepreneurial support system provided assistance to help Handle grow. And now, today, company leaders and I announced Handle plans a $7.8M investment to add warehousing space in Jefferson County, and to increase employment by the end of 2021 with 80 high-paying jobs across its distribution and headquarters operations. Let me pause, tell you how significant it is to see a Kentucky-based tech company scale up from startup, to a mid-size employer. Company's growth in just a few short years has been impressive, and I think it shows what we're going to be doing in Kentucky for years to come. Throughout the COVID-19 pandemic Handle has helped guide healthcare businesses and government agencies, through its supply chain analytics platform, as well as through the sale of medical equipment especially PPE, personal protective equipment. Handle is part of more than 200 healthcare related technology service and manufacturing facilities in Kentucky employing over 30,000 people in our state. So congratulations to Handle Global. Thank you for what you've done during COVID and what you're doing. Thank you for the example of how the economy of the future is one that we can build from just one good idea, right here in Kentucky.
Alright second on our Fast Four at Four is more help for those with bills that can't cover, during this pandemic. It's our Healthy at Home Utility Relief Fund. We had announced this earlier, but we hadn't gotten the application process up and starting, so here's a few more details. For households with income up to 200% of the federal poverty level who have been economically impacted during COVID, we are providing $15M of CARES Act funding and assistance to help pay up to $500 for these families, for these households, past due utility bills. The maximum benefit is up to $500 for past due water or wastewater bills. For a limited number of households, you can pay up to $200 for past two electric or natural gas bills, up to two times. Apply at your local Community Action Agency. So to locate your community action agency called 1-800-456-3452 or visit www.capky.org. Applicants are going to have to provide documentation, including their most current utility bill, proof of arrearage- that's being behind in your bills, payment plan or disconnect notice for utilities, proof of social security number or permanent residence card or green card for each member of the household and proof of all members of the household income from the preceding month. Again, this is just another way, on top of healthcare, food assistance, the rental assistance fund, and of employment and that extra $400 that the state opted to provide, that not that many states did, that we are trying to help people make it through. So please, please, take advantage of this program, we want you to emerge from this not just healthy and resilient, but we don't want people coming out of it with so much debt that they can't dig out.
Alright, number three, vote. Tomorrow is Election Day, and we are on path, I believe, to break records in how this election is conducted. And you have had more ways to vote in this election than ever before and I want to thank Secretary of State Michael Adams, with reaching a bipartisan agreement with me to provide all of those various methods. You could vote by absentee ballot, if you have an absentee ballot, and you have not mailed it- don't mail it, take it to a drop box. That's the best way to make sure that it is counted- take it there tomorrow, don't wait, take it and drop it off there to make sure your vote is counted, you requested that ballot. You want to make sure it's in and counted so make sure you get it done in that way. We were able to vote early three weeks, including Saturdays and I think a lot of people enjoy that flexibility with their schedule. And then there's election day tomorrow. If you haven't voted yet, and you're not voting by the end of today's early voting period, go tomorrow, but make a plan about when to go. And everybody shouldn't go just right in the morning. Wear your mask, make sure you wear it the whole time when you're there in case it's crowded. Make sure you make that plan about when you're going to go and how you're going to get there. This is our opportunity to be a model for the rest of the country about what a little bipartisanship can mean. And when we make voting easier, more people than ever vote, and that's just good for democracy. And let me just add that I know that there are a lot of strong feelings by people about who they want to win on Tuesday night. And whether or not we know, Tuesday night, or not, who the various winners are on Wednesday, are still all Americans and we're still all members of this Commonwealth. The division we're seeing in our country right now is of great concern. This attempt to make each other the enemy is so disruptive when we have so many real enemies out there. We have a pandemic that is picking off our people and somehow politics has infiltrated our response to it, and how effective we can be at saving individuals around us. We have outside enemies, pick them, Iran, North Korea, Russia that want us as a country to fail and you know what? They don't really care who wins the election as long as we continue to fight each other. So let's remember Wednesday, where all members of this Commonwealth and we ought to try to act like it.
Alright, number four of the Fast Four at Four, Mask Up Kentucky with just a few examples of in and around Halloween people wearing their masks and doing it right. So if we can go to the first one.
- Alright, I admit, this was pretty funny, but this guy is a lot better looking than I am and probably does a better job behind the podium. But it was creative but the main reason I wanted to show this is whoever's house this was, and maybe Dorothy's, was doing it right, had the table out there, how the candy spread out, she was doing what it took to protect this young man who, you know, based on this get up, obviously has a bright future.
- Alright, the next one is Amy Boyd in a fall tradition with her daughters to the Crawford Farms pumpkin patch. So she says “this year was a little different, we wore masks, socially distance and took advantage of the additional hand washing stations” she was still able to have fun. But look, the daughters are doing the responsible thing. The family is doing the responsible thing. All it takes, all it takes is us wearing a mask, following the guidance, you can still do so much and have so many opportunities. If we all would just agree to a little inconvenience, we could have a whole lot of our lives back.
Alright. Before we get to the COVID report, I want to address some news that we saw on Friday. And that was that in the past, there had been a presentation, given at the Kentucky State Police Academy that quoted Adolf Hitler and Robert E. Lee from what we can find thus far that individual presentation, we believe, was only given one single time to one single class, but it is absolutely and totally unacceptable. Unacceptable.There is no rationale or reason that is ever okay. And while we believe that this was done that one time six years ago, we’re not stopping there, we’re checking all training materials going back in time and looking at the present, and we are committed to making this right. To our brothers and sisters in the Jewish community in Kentucky, this should have never happened. And we are committed- this administration is committed to making sure that not only does this never happen in the future, but that we repair any damage done in the past. You should never have to wake up to or see this news. I know I can never feel the type of impact that you feel from it but I've been meeting with community leaders, having called calls with others, making sure that we have the community as part of the solution here. And that we more broadly look to make sure that the training that we provide to those who are willing to go out there and be our law enforcement officers, is the absolute best training that helps us all to understand whether it's religions, cultures, or differences. Make sure that we don't lead or create conflict, but that we can, everybody in the law enforcement community, do the very best job for all of our people which I believe they truly want to do. And that we are training, the way we need to to get the very best results in every situation, which is everybody being as safe as they can be. We're not going to rest until we fix this. And we're going to continue to work to rectify, again, something that's absolutely wrong and unacceptable.
Alright, moving to our COVID report- Well let me just finally mention that meeting I had this afternoon on that topic, I really do appreciate, whether it was, an executive director from the community, or the number of rabbis that were in the call, thank you for all of your thoughts and your commitment to work with us, we really appreciate you. We really appreciate you and everything that you add to our Commonwealth.
Alright on to our COVID update. Folks in America, and in Kentucky, but first in America this is getting increasingly more and more dangerous. The newest numbers are absolutely staggering. That at last week's pace that we just saw. In the United States, an American tests positive every 1.2 seconds for COVID-19. And we are losing an American to COVID-19, every 1:47s.
This is a deadly pandemic and for those that don't believe it takes people's lives are a big part of taking people's lives, there's almost 1200 families a day that have lost somebody. Can you imagine that? We’re losing 1200 plus Americans, a day and we have some individuals that say, “Oh, it's not real.” You know, think about the amount of grief. There's crying out every day in this country and in this Commonwealth, based on those that we have lost- I hope that we are good enough people, regardless of the difficulty in dealing with this virus that we can say, “Oh my goodness. Our actions or inactions are resulting in a type of loss in my life that is inconceivable”, and is going to exceed every major war from the standpoint of lost Kentuckians that we have endured.
So that's nationally. Here in the state. Last week, we set a record for cases and it wasn't close. Last week we had 11,700 cases, the next closest week was the one before with 9,335 cases. That is a huge and significant jump. And what it says is, we have to do better and we have to take action. That's why today is the first day that our red zone recommendations are in effect, along with our school recommendations, along with long term care. That means, in our red counties, I believe we have about 68 of them right now, we should be learning virtually, we should be restricting visitation in long term care, every business should be allowing every individual that can work from home to work from home, our government offices should be virtual and closed unless they provide services that can only be done in person. And to our individuals, you should have committed to hunkering down for this week, to reducing the times that you go out, knowing that this week is absolutely critical, and there is the highest chance that you will get COVID, or that you could potentially bring it back to your family, than you have ever seen in your community. If you are in a red zone county, we need everybody following these recommendations, otherwise this escalation continues to increase. It takes all of us working together, business, government school system, and individuals. If all that group, that community comes together, we truly believe that we can lessen the spread. If we follow them, it will work.
But I know we've had some folks that, again, whether it's real, that they have questions or not that ask, “Well, wait a minute, we already have all these mandates in place, but we continue to see our cases increase, why?” Well, places where we don't have certain mandates in place, are increasing at a higher rate, that's number one. And number two, our compliance with those mandates has lessened over time. So I just want to show you just a couple of graphs. The first one up here looks at cases by week; this is total new cases with a seven-day average between us and Tennessee. And I just chose these two because we're border states, we have a mask mandate and Tennessee does not. You could see that we were both at risk for a significant escalation back in July and that is when we put our mask mandate into effect. And you can see what we avoided in terms of cases that that state went through. And while there was a period of time where they began to decrease, what we are seeing is even in the escalation right now, having that in place has us at a lower rate. But remember, the distance between their line and our line, is a whole lot of people suffering from COVID-19 that some percentage ends up in the hospital, some percentage ends up at the ICU, some percentage ends up dead. The fewer cases we have, the more people we protect, and I think that shows you graphically, what that mask mandate has accomplished thus far. Now as our line gets closer to their line, we're not wearing our masks as much as we used to. The effectiveness of our mandate is how many people wear them each and every day so we need everybody to pick it up.
Let me show you a second one, and this is on deaths. Again, what we see is that the two states had a very similar experience in terms of lost lives, you know, it went back and forth early on and we don't wish for anybody to succumb to COVID-19. But you can see here again, the difference between when the mask mandate was put into effect and today, what the impact there is. When you have fewer cases, you lose fewer people. When more people wear a mask, you don't have as much spread so you have fewer cases. All these things that we have put into effect have an impact. How big of an impact they have is how well that we do. You know it's how many study tools we give to our kids has an impact on the grades they get. Whether or not they get an A or not, depends on whether or not they put those study habits and tools into actual practice. So we as government, like in many ways we as parents, can provide the tools and the structure, we can communicate the knowledge, and what it takes, then we need people to go out there and to do what it takes to make sure that we protect one another, and do the right thing. You look at where we are right now which is significant. Tennessee last week averaged 2,700 infections and 36 deaths per day, per day. We do not wish that on them, we do not wish that on anybody, but hopefully that will show everybody just a little bit about why we have these rules in place and also if we follow them, how much of an impact they can have. And we need it, we need everybody bringing their A game right now because today we're reporting the highest Monday that we've ever reported. In fact the last seven days, five of them were the highest that we've ever had on that given day. Remember Monday's not as many labs are working over the weekend, typically much lower numbers.
Positive cases today: 1,032
Probable cases: 17,442
Total confirmed cases: 109,670 - How quickly we've gone from 100,000 to almost 110,000
New cases by county: 200x Jefferson, 147x Fayette, 31x Warren, 30x McCracken, 29x Kenton, 28x Bullitt, 24x Boone, 22x Floyd, 22x Hardin, 22x Whitley, 21x Daviess, 19x Hopkins, 16x Calloway, 15x Campbell, 12x Carter, 12x Graves, 12x Madison, 12x Mercer, 12x Shelby, 11x Hart, 11x Pike, 10x Boyle, 10x Jackson, 10x Lewis, 9x Bell, 9x Harlan, 9x Larue, 9x Oldham, 8x Grayson, 8x Marshall, 8x Nelson, 8x Perry, 7x Christian, 7x Clark, 7x Franklin, 7x Jessamine, 7x Letcher, 7x McCreary, 7x Wolfe, 7x Woodford, 6x Barren, 6x Boyd, 6x Breathitt, 6x Montgomery, 6x Taylor, 5x Clay, 5x Greenup, 5x Leslie, 5x Monroe, 5x Pulaski, 5x Rowan, 5x Wayne, 4x Bath, 4x Estill, 4x Henderson, 4x Knox, 4x Laurel, 4x Marion, 4x Ohio, 4x Scott, 3x Allen, 3x Bourbon, 3x Fleming, 3x Grant, 3x Henry, 3x Lincoln, 3x Logan, 3x Metcalfe, 3x Webster, 2x Adair, 2x Caldwell, 2x Casey, 2x Clinton, 2x Garrard, 2x Green, 2x Hancock, 2x Harrison, 2x Johnson, 2x Mason, 2x Menifee, 2x Muhlenberg, 2x Washington, 1x Ballard, 1x Breckinridge, 1x Cumberland, 1x Gallatin, 1x Hickman, 1x Lawrence, 1x Magoffin, 1x Martin, 1x Meade, 1x Morgan, 1x Nicholas, 1x Pendleton, 1x Powell, 1x Rockcastle, 1x Simpson, 1x Spencer, 1x Todd, 1x Trigg, 1x Trimble, 1x Union
Total tests conducted: 2,076,257 (PCR: 1,926,140, Serology: 86,479)
Positivity Rate: 6.25% - That's the highest since June 1st. Remember those in the red zone, we need you, we need you to be following the recommendations. Right now, our school system recommendations are just recommendations, we say as long as the rate is below 6%, but we don't think that will have to change from recommendations if we see the vast majority of businesses, of government, of school systems and others actually following the advice, because if you don't spread continues, it gets amplified.
Total hospitalized: 7,205
Currently hospitalized: 988
Total in ICU: 1,736
Currently in ICU: 270
On a ventilator: 142
Total recovered: 18,516
New deaths today: 3
Total Deaths: 1,492
New deaths by county: 82 M Hardin, 93 M Jessamine, 59 M (a healthcare worker) Whitley
We're going to be reaching out to that family (the healthcare worker), to see if they'll allow us to talk about his incredible work and story- that maybe would help other people recognize, again, what we are dealing with. Let's light our homes up green, let's ring our bells at 10am. 1,492 Kentuckians lost. Early on in the pandemic estimates were even so much higher than that. But then we had everybody, you know, really in this together, and we can get there again. Oh they shrank way below this. So what we're seeing right now is avoidable death. So think about that when you hear about somebody that you know, losing somebody important to them. That what we're dealing with right now is avoidable loss.
Racial breakdown of all cases: 80.94% Caucasian, 11.22% Black or African-American, 1.58% Asian, 5.83% Multiracial
Ethnicity breakdown of all cases: 90.87% non-Hispanic and 9.13% Hispanic
Racial breakdown of all deaths: 84.22% Caucasian, 11.96% Black or African-American, 0.94% Asian, 2.88% Multiracial
Ethnicity breakdown of all deaths: 96.79% non-Hispanic and 3.21% Hispanic
Long Term Care Facilities (PDF): 57 new residents and 39 new staff positive from yesterday, and 26 more deaths, 26 new facilities. We're going to be providing an update on, especially the amount of testing that we're doing in the facilities right now. But I don't want to sugarcoat it. If we have a red county, we try really hard, but we can't stop the virus from getting in. If community spread is so much, so high- it gets into school, it gets into the long term care facility, gets in everywhere. That's why if we don't follow the red zone recommendations, the county just be lucky to come out of it, and dealing with the virus, I wouldn't want to bet on luck. It was a coordinated response that we ought to want to do.
- Total facilities: 364
- Total deaths: 898
- Active cases: 1109 residents, 641 staff
- Total cases: 6495 residents, 4536 staff
Day Care Facilities: 9 new facilities, 7 new staff, 5 new children. 353 facilities, 292 staff, 212 children,
K-12 Update (PDF): PDF Update only
University Update (PDF): PDF Update only
So, another tough day but another opportunity to make sure that we're banding together to beat this virus. Remember, this week, if you are in a red county, let’s buckle down, let's do what it takes to lessen the virus in your community. It's up to you. It's up to me. It's up to absolutely everybody around you. This week, all the way through Sunday, let's make sure we're following that red zone recommendation guidance, We want to cancel as many public, private events that there are, don’t do gatherings of any size this week if you're in a red County, don't have people over to your house. Make sure that if you can work virtually, you do it. And employers, this is the best opportunity not to have it spread significantly throughout your facility. Please work with us on that. Support your local businesses this week: order carry out, curbside, takeout. Make sure that you reduce your in-person contacts by as much as you possibly can.
Alright, so today we're trying to do our part to lessen our contacts and that's why we're doing this press conference now entirely virtually. So as we open it up to questions we have some reporters who are going to be on the line, who are going to be able to ask their question directly. I'm only going to be able to hear it, and then respond to it so bear with us a little bit through it. And then I have about five written questions, and I will let Crystal Staley, who is our communications director, let me know when we have our first question.

(continued in stickied comment)

Coronavirus: Trump admits to slowing the testing rate, which allows unabated spread & more American deaths

Good morning everyone - I am posting this coronavirus-centric newsletter instead of the usual Lost in the Sauce because I am running behind after spending yesterday on Father’s Day activities. So tomorrow I will post Lost in the Sauce (covering the political and legal news that may have been overlooked last week). My apologies, I wanted to get something out to you guys today as promised.
Housekeeping:

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The World Health Organization on Sunday reported the pandemic's largest single-day increase of confirmed coronavirus cases, with more than 183,000 cases reported in the previous 24 hours. Brazil and the United States contributed the most to the surge in cases.

Testing

Trump says he told his administration to test fewer people: “Testing is a double-edged sword… When you do testing to that extent, you’re gonna find more people, you’re gonna find more cases. So I said to my people slow the testing down, please. They test and they test.” (video)

The White House later tried to soften Trump's remark, saying he was joking. Juliette Kayyem, a former assistant secretary of the Department of Homeland Security, points out a key aspect that is often overlooked: “The joke is on us. We stayed inside weeks on weeks with the unstated social contract that it was going to give the nation time to have alternatives to social distancing. And they didn’t do it. The nationwide testing plan never panned out like they said it would.”
Congressman Andy Kim (NJ): When I requested FEMA to stand up a Coronavirus test site in South Jersey they told me the White House said no. Now we know why.

EDIT TO UPDATE: A reporter asked Trump this morning if he actually ordered testing to be slowed down - Trump avoided answering the direct question but implied that he thinks we should do less testing. Trump says: "if it did slow down, frankly, I think we're way ahead of ourselves if you wanna know the truth. We've done too good of a job." (video)
Just days earlier, Trump told the WSJ that testing for the coronavirus is "overrated," arguing that it has led to an increase in confirmed cases in the U.S. that "makes us look bad." Trump has made statements like this numerous times before.

Reminder: In March, Trump said he wanted to keep passengers and crew on an infected cruise ship so that coronavirus cases in the US don't "double." "I like the numbers being where they are. I don't need to have the numbers double because of one ship."
Op-Ed: Trump Just Admitted to a Crime Against Humanity. No, He Wasn’t Joking.

Fact check: Controlling the spread of the pandemic demands finding the infected and isolating them until they can no longer spread the disease, alongside broader measures like social distancing. With an untold number of asymptomatic carriers, the only option to find out who truly has the virus is to test. Meanwhile, a lack of testing hampers the response to the virus. Health officials can’t preempt outbreaks in new regions. The threat then silently persists, infecting, killing, and draining resources. (Vox)
The U.S is now conducting more than 3 million coronavirus tests a week, far short of the 30 million tests per week experts say is needed to safely reopen. These experts aren’t just worried about the number of tests that labs can process. They are concerned about the logistical challenges of testing so many people, and the lag in setting up adequate contact tracing to find who may have been exposed.

Cases continue to rise

Experts abroad: “It really does feel like the U.S. has given up.” Comparing the rolling average of new coronavirus cases in the EU (pop. 446 million) to the US (pop. 330 million), shows the stark difference in results: the US rate is climbing back to its high point of ~30,000 average cases while the EU has stabilized at only 4,000 cases.

Note that since that graph was made, the US has surpassed that number: The CDC reported over 32,000 new cases for both Friday and Saturday - the highest daily totals since April 25. [See a few paragraphs below for state details]

Germany’s success in responding to the coronavirus pandemic was based on U.S. research that was ignored or dismissed by the U.S. government. “A large portion of [Germany’s] measures that proved effective was based on studies by leading U.S. research institutes,” said Karl Lauterbach, a Harvard-educated epidemiologist who is a member of the German parliament for the Social Democrats.
If the US had acted when other nations did, using the same information, 70%-99% of American covid deaths would have been avoided. The Oxford index shows that 14 days from the date of the 15th confirmed case in each country — a vital early window for action — the U.S. response to the outbreak lagged behind the others by miles...Due to exponential viral spread, our delay in action was devastating.

Meanwhile, at his Tulsa rally over the weekend, Trump boasted that “I have done a phenomenal job on it,” calling the coronavirus “the Chinese virus” and “Kung Flu.”

A dozen states have seen record highs of new COVID-19 cases since Friday… Those include Florida, Texas, Utah, South Carolina, Nevada, Georgia, Missouri, Montana, Arizona, California, Tennessee, and Oklahoma.

Arizona’s coronavirus cases have nearly doubled in 14 days, from 26,989 on June 7 to 52,390 on June 21. Florida on Saturday reported 4,049 new coronavirus cases, another consecutive single-day record increase in cases. For the fourth time in five days, Texas reported a record number of new coronavirus cases Saturday.

Hundreds test positive at Tyson Foods plant in Arkansas… Of the 3,748 employees tested, 481 tested positive for COVID-19, and 455 were asymptomatic. [This asymptomatic number is surprising and raises the possibility that there may be contamination somewhere in the testing “chain.”]

Funding and equipment

Trump administration ends funding for new lung damage treatments… The coronavirus attacks the lungs, killing some and leaving others with severe lung ailments. Earlier this month, the federal Biomedical Advanced Research and Development Authority (BARDA) abruptly notified companies and researchers that it was halting funding for treatments for this severe form of Covid-19. The new policy highlights how staunchly the Trump administration has placed its bet on vaccines.
Instead of COVID testing supplies, FEMA sent the Washington State Health Dept. tiny plastic preforms that can be made into 2-liter soda bottles… The Department of Health received 300,000 vials, all of which were unlabeled, unusually packaged, and unusable.
FEMA paid $7.3 million to a first-time federal contractor with a sketchy owner for these unusable mini soda bottles. The bottles are also contaminated, as employees did not wear masks and kept them in an unclean environment. FEMA reportedly sent them to all 50 states.
A DHS review found that the CDC’s earliest coronavirus test kits were contaminated… Scientists did not thoroughly check the kits despite “anomalies” during manufacturing, according to the federal review. The CDC’s failure with the test added many weeks of delays to the rollout of widespread testing.
One of Trump’s top fundraisers is cashing in on the pandemic… Brian Ballard uses his Trump connections to lobby the administration on behalf of companies seeking to market their health products or score federal relief money. “He’s playing the K Street lobbyist game, buying access to this administration and enjoying that access,” said Craig Holman, who works on ethics and lobbying issues for the watchdog group Public Citizen.
FEMA can find no records of criteria it uses to make distributions to states from the Strategic National Stockpile to address the coronavirus pandemic… The claim is especially concerning because the president has made statements suggesting that states should get federal assistance based on how he feels about the states’ governors.
TSA whistleblower alleges the agency endangered staff and passengers… TSA withheld N95 masks from staff and exhibited "gross mismanagement" in its response to the coronavirus crisis – leaving employees and travelers vulnerable during the most urgent days of the pandemic.
Airports beg government to set face mask policy for passengers… “I can’t emphasize that enough – we would welcome regulations on a temporary basis that you should wear a mask in an airport when you’re transferring through it,” Airports Council International - North America President Kevin M. Burke said this past week.
Concerns that Donald Trump’s inner circle might pressure the FDA to rush a coronavirus vaccine to market in time for the presidential election have risen after the White House attacked the agency for reversing itself on an experimental drug treatment. “And if you give it to people and they think ‘Wow, I’ve got the vaccine now,’ they’re likely not to physically distance, wear face masks. And then if it doesn’t actually work, Oh! We’ve got a disaster on our hands,” said Ezekiel Emanuel, a medical professor at the University of Pennsylvania and former Obama White House health policy adviser.

CARES Act and Paycheck Protection Program

Senators find $14 billion in unspent funds Congress approved in April to expand coronavirus testing and tracing… "While it has been months since these funds were first appropriated, the administration has failed to disburse significant amounts of this funding, leaving communities without the resources they need to address the significant challenges presented by the virus," Sen. Patty Murray (D-Wash.) and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) wrote in a letter to HHS Secretary Alex Azar on Sunday.
The pandemic is disproportionately hurting black-owned small businesses and the administration is not helping… Only 12 percent of black and Hispanic business owners polled between April 30 and May 12 received the funding they had requested. About one quarter received some funding. By contrast, half of all small businesses reported receiving from a single part of the stimulus packages — the Paycheck Protection Program — according to a census survey.

Only 2 percent of a $20 million city-wide small business loan program went to businesses in the Bronx, the New York City borough with the highest share of black people, according to a spokesperson for the city’s Department of Small Business Services, while 57 percent went to Manhattan businesses.

A coalition of civil rights groups including the ACLU sued the Trump administration for denying coronavirus relief loans to small business owners with criminal records, arguing the restrictive policy violates the law and perpetuates systemic racial injustices by discriminating against people of color.
PPP failed to get money where it was most needed. 7 of the 10 states that received the smallest dollar amount of loans were among the 10 states with the highest number of people approved for unemployment claims as of May 23. South Dakota, Utah, Wyoming, Florida, and Nebraska received significantly more aid proportionally compared to states with higher covid-related unemployment rates like Nevada, Maine, Michigan, and Hawaii.
A federal judge is once again ordering Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin to release the full amount of stimulus funding Congress set aside for Native American tribes. “The Secretary has now taken more than twice as much time as Congress directed to distribute all CARES Act funds,” Mehta wrote. Mehta’s decision blocked so-called Alaska Native Corporations (ANCs), which have vast land holdings and secure significant profits from timber and oil sales, from receiving funds, as they are not government entities.
The administration has so far failed to spend more than 75% of the American humanitarian aid that Congress provided three months ago to help overseas victims of the virus. Relief workers said they were alarmed and bewildered as to why the vast majority of the money was sitting unspent.

McKamey Manor

McKamey Manor is arguably the most terrifying and controversial ‘haunted attraction’ in the United States today. Yet what makes McKarney Manor so different from the others is that there are no zombies, ghosts or werewolves to frighten visitors. Instead, members of staff are permitted to bind, gag, and push visitors to their physical and emotional limits. Obviously, it’s not something the average horror fan is going to enjoy, and there several entry requirements. Visitors must be at least twenty one years of age, and must pass a physical exam, a drug test and a background check. McKarney Manor operates all year round, although interest tends to peak during the Halloween season, and actually offers visitors a hefty $20,000 if they are able to survive for more than ten hours.
According to the Manor’s founder, Russ McKamey, not a single visitor has ever managed to endure the full experience. “The reason why the manor is so controversial is because nobody is saying what’s actually happening in here and that’s out of respect for the manor and myself and what we’re trying to produce here”, he said during a recent interview, “If the people who go through the haunt want to spill all the beans and say everything that happens, they certainly could but they don’t and that makes the haters crazy because they don’t know what’s happening. That’s why you hear all the insane rumors because they’re just making things up in their mind of what is happening.”
Since there is no entrance fee, the Manor is extremely selective, and just a handful of patrons are permitted to enter each weekend. McKamey also requires that his participants refrain from physically engaging with the actors, or from using curse words. Breaking these rules are grounds for an immediate cessation of the tour. Based in Tennessee and Alabama, the Manor advertises itself as “an audience participation event in which YOU will live your own horror movie”. But critics have described it as a ‘torture chamber’. Even other members of the Halloween Haunt industry have levelled some serious criticism at the place, branding Russ McKamey a ‘psychopath’ who’s managed to find a legal loophole to satisfy an evil, sadistic streak.
Upon being granted permission to enter, visitors are required to sign a forty page waiver prior to the tour. The waiver asks that the visitor understands and agrees to the fact that, not only were they warned multiple times not to participate in McKamey Manor, but that it is only a game, and they are not really being tortured; although they will be roughed up, and may well suffer some degree of physical injury during their visit. One particularly ominous line from the waiver states that “McKamey Manor is not for the weak”, but that visitors will never be held against their will. The only things off limits to the staff are explicitly sexual situations, but visitors may have their heads shaved, or even their fingers broken, since mouth traps are
used to inflict discomfort or pain. There are also clauses stating that dangerous heights, or even poisonous animals, may well be used to terrify participants. But perhaps most terrifyingly of all, the waiver states that participants may be buried alive, specifically under twelve feet of dirt, although they are promised access to a limited amount of air.
But Amy Milligan, a Californian who visited McKamey Manor, insisted that her experience was “more than just a game”. She asserted that she suffered injuries that were way beyond cuts and bruises, and was even waterboarded by members of staff while they laughed in the face of her obvious suffering. She only left a positive review of her experiences so that McKamey would upload footage of her time there to their Youtube channel, which she intended to use as evidence of excessive abuse. Yet when it was uploaded, she found the worst parts had been tactically edited out. “I told them, I can’t do this, please, let me out”, she later said, “but they told me they weren’t done yet. They shoved my head back into a bucket of water, I thought I was going to die in there”.
Another Californian, Laura Hertz Brotherton, has a similar story to Mulligan’s. She too was left with more than just superficial injuries. Brotherton says that before she was allowed to participate, she was asked to prove her loyalty to McKamey Manor by completing a series of tasks; some of which included purchasing an adult onesie and filming a personal visit to a Halloween store, before uploading the evidence to Facebook. According to Brotherton, she believed that McKamey was particularly hard on her after she admitted to having become involved in an extramarital affair. She insisted that, for some reason, Russ McKamey was personally offended by this. “I was waterboarded, tased and whipped. I still have scars of everything they did to me”, she later said, “I was repeatedly hit in my face. Like, open-handed, as hard as a man could hit a woman” Brotherton added that she was blindfolded, then held by her ankles and submerged underwater for so long that her body started involuntarily thrashing. She was later forced to dig a hole in dirt with her bare hands, then made to lie in the fresh hole while they covered her and her face with dirt, giving her only a straw to breathe through. It was then that she repeated her safe word several times, only being freed from her live burial after having screamed it at the top of her lungs.
When it was all over, Brotherton visited a hospital, but refused to reveal to hospital staff exactly who or what had caused her injuries. As is standard practice in such incidents, hospital staff called the police, but Brotherton left prior to their arrival. She later worked up the courage to report the incident to law enforcement, but was told she didn’t have a case because of the waiver.
Brotherton then took photographs of her injures. In one photo, she is wearing a neck brace and hospital gown, with her face showing signs of swelling. She also had scratches on her cheeks and small cuts at the corner of her mouth from ‘fish-hooking’, where a person takes their fingers and they put them inside your mouth, before stretching your mouth open. Another photograph shows a large open wound on one of her knees, apparently from where McKamey staff forced her to crawl on rough ground.
According to an article written about her experiences, Russ McKamey confirmed Brotherton’s story, though he did shed doubt on the severity of her injuries. Yet the article also goes on to state that some of McKamey’s claims are pure fantasy, that there’s no alligator, there’s no quicksand, and most of all, there’s no twenty-grand prize for those that last longer than ten hours. McKamey himself then posted on Facebook regarding the article, saying it was based on pure speculation and exaggerated stories. He had apparently reached out to the publication in question to offer them access to other visitors who would contradict Brotherton’s assertions, but was ignored. He also claimed that he had been in touch with other ‘extreme attractions’ and discovered that Brotherton has been banned by them for other salacious claims. According to McKamey, the article was an opinion piece, masquerading as a piece of investigative journalism. It was then he laid out a challenge to the journalist who wrote the piece, stating there was one, simple way of her determining what was fact and fiction. “Take the tour, what do you have to lose?” he wrote, “Do you have what it takes? But we know you’ll never do that. Instead you'll sit behind your desk in the comfort of your safe space, writing about second hand information instead of actually seeking the truth from your own experience”
Russ McKamey, a self-proclaimed cinemaphile, uploaded videos of the tours to the McKamey Manor Youtube Channel. But he has since ceased to do so because of negative public reactions. Yet McKamey hasn’t stopped uploading footage of the tours entirely. According to Facebook users who are members of the McKamey Manor private Facebook group, McKamey still shares video, even occasionally livestreaming some of the tours. These videos boast professional editing, lighting, and props; raising questions as to whether or not some of the tours are actually staged.
One video shows a group of visitors reading the infamous waiver aloud before the camera documents them signing it. The people attempting to read the waiver aloud then have their hair pulled, get smacked in the face, and are choked with rope while trying to read. Footage later shows the individuals having their hair shaved off before being forced to eat it, and being forced to eat raw dead animals. These acts lead some people to
speculate that the video is staged, and that the participants themselves are actually members of the Manor’s staff. According to McKamey’s Facebook post, the chance to win $20,000 is absolutely real.However, it is very suspicious that not a single visitor has ever been able to claim the prize. McKamey has stated that although the prize exists, it’s “impossible” to attain, which is arguably the strongest evidence that it doesn’t exist.
Perhaps the most interesting question is how McKamey is able to fund the Manor. Russ McKamey is a Navy Veteran, and does not profit off the Manor, but was somehow able to invest half a million of his own money into the establishment of the Manor in San Diego. According to McKamey himself, he spends almost three hundred dollars a night for an on-site EMT and around twenty grand a year on insurance. He also estimates that it costs around $500 per visitor. So just how is the Manor funded? According to rumour, McKamey sells footage of the tours on the Deep Web, as well as taking a cut from a betting syndicate who watch the live streams from a top secret location, somewhere in the US. But these contradict McKamey’s claims that he doesn’t profit off the Manor in any shape or form. McKamey himself has admitted to money troubles after losing his job as a Veteran’s Advocate, and his only source of income is his $800 monthly retirement check.
There has also been fiery debate on the legality of operating McKamey Manor. For example, the police have been called to McKamey Manor on more than one occasion, at one point arriving to find a woman locked in a basement, shivering and bruised with duct tape over her mouth. When police asked the woman if the interaction was consensual, the woman said yes, giving the Cops no option other than to leave. According to the District Attorney of Lawrence County, Tennessee, McKamey Manor operates well within the law, given their use of waivers. As long as McKamey participants are there voluntarily, no crime is being committed. However, a participant can withdraw consent at any time, and if staff were to disregard the withdrawal of consent, a participant would then be classified as a victim who is being held against their will. Russ McKamey also makes clear that the Manor’s Tennessee location is far less physically involved than it was in San Diego, being more of a psychological experience than a physical one. “There’s no torture, there’s nothing like that, but under hypnosis if you make someone believe there’s something really scary going on, that’s just in their own mind and not reality”, he stated in another Facebook post, “If you’re good enough and you’re able to get inside somebody’s noggin like the way that I can, I can make folks believe whatever I want them to believe. I’m like the most strait-laced guy you
could think of, but here I run this crazy haunted house. And people twist it around in their little minds. It really is a magic act, what I do. It’s a lot of smoke and mirrors.” However, that isn’t to say people escape the Manor unharmed. McKamey stands by the possibility that one may leave with cuts, bruises, or even broken bones, as stated in the waiver.
In short, McKamey Manor may well be one of the greatest mysteries in the entire entertainment industry, and by the looks of things, it will remain that way, despite incredible pressure on Russ McKamey to shut the place down. “People have sent me death threats, even shot at my house, but I’m not going to open it to the masses–I like keeping it a secret”, he said, “I like the mystery of the manor. If you saw everything it’d be like any other haunted house. That’s my goal, even when I’m dead and gone, to make sure people are still talking about McKamey Manor. That’s why nobody is really going to ever see behind the wall.”

Top 5 Most Famous Traders Of All Time

Jeopardy! recap for Tue., Mar. 31

House Party 7/27/20 - Part One

We open our scene, as we’re in the serviceable Nashville Municipal Auditorium, as we have a rowdy southern crowd on hand in the Music City! Some crowd members living up to the city moniker, as we see a few guys in what looks like novelty country get-up with acoustic instruments. As we pan over to our commentary table.
Paisner: Hello everyone! And welcome to another edition of House Party! I’m Allen Paisner-
Woodbridge: And i’m Mark Woodbridge.
Paisner: And we got another fantastic show lined up tonight! As we see battles such as Buster Braggadocio vs Viktor Ivanov following the confrontation by Romero and Buster against Vanguard at a McDonald’s. Marshall Wheeler looking to rebound from abandonment, and Jericho Styles looking to rebound from getting fucked up as they face off! We will see the debut of the unintentionally eccentric wrestker Dexter Flux against unintentionally eccentric medical professional, Doctor Ishmael Yellowstone. We will likely see Chip Rutgers get his ass whooped by Joey McCarty. And of course our main event for #1 Contendership to Kaitlyn Casey Jone’s Independent Title, as Dick Dover and Tony Stevens square off for a huge opportunity! Plus much more! But now, there’s one match I did not mention, and it’s our opener! We send it to Javier in the ring!
We cut to the ring to see Javier, who stands at the ready for the opening bout.
Javier: The following contest is scheduled for one fall-
Crowd: ONE FALL!!
Javier: and has a 30 minute time limit, refereed by Mia So Hung!
Repent by Shaggy hits the Nashville Municipal Auditorium as Ikbal Rizwan makes his way to the ring and fans reach out to high five the former QWF superstar as he seems happy to be greeted with a warm reception at the venue.
Javier: Making his way to the ring, from Islamabad, Pakistan, weighing 310 pounds, IKBALLL RIZWAAANN!!!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Woodbridge: Even the hicks out here in Tennessee know who Ikbal is and they’re hyped to see him compete tonight!
Paisner: This young man carried the entire QWF federation during its short lived existence, holding its World Title the entirety of its lineage and then bringing it over to WiR after our revival. He then held it for a few months longer before losing it in a unification match with the WiR Champion Kyle Scott, but Ikbal’s dominant reign solidified him as a threatening competitor and a dangerous opponent in that ring.
Ikbal Rizwan now makes it past the fans and to the ring and walks up the ring steps, and as he makes it in the ring he beats his chest and salutes the crowd as they cheer for him again.
Now, The Devil by Black Stahli plays and the arena instantly boos the evil looking man that enters as he begins a slow and focused walk to the ring.
Javier: Making his way to the ring, from Columbus, Ohio, weighing in at 223 pounds, SETH BLACCKHEARTTT!!!
Crowd: BBOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Woodbridge: Blackheart looks completely oblivious to the arena of people who want to see him get dropped for the three count tonight!
Paisner: Last week he showed a sick lack of remorse after possibly giving a concussion to Jericho Styles, shaking the limp hand of Styles shortly after recklessly punting him in the head.
Seth ignores every single person jeering him as he remains completely focused on Ikbal Rizwan, who stands in the corner staring back at Blackheart with determination. Blackheart makes it to the ring steps and walks up before coming through the second and third rope into the ring. Both competitors settle into their respective corners without having taken their eyes off each other as Mia So Hung checks the boots, elbow pads, and kickpads of both competitors for foreign objects before calling for the ring bell.
DING DING DING!
Blackheart wastes no time extending a hand in the middle of the ring to Ikbal, who quickly moves forward to oblige before leaning back to put space between them but Seth keeps a hold on Ikbals hand and stares Ikbal down, but Ikbal has none of it as he kicks the hand away from his own! They stare each other down now, keeping their distance with much less trust than seconds prior!
Crowd: LETS GO RIZWAN! Clap clap clap-clap-clap LETS GO RIZWAN!
Paisner: Blackheart warned Rizwan in a cryptic video message that he’d better accept a handshake lest he end up like his opponent last week, but he might have narrowly avoided a nasty fate that left him laid out flat!
Woodbridge: I dunno, Pais, maybe Rizwan overreacted there and just didn’t expect a good old-fashioned gorilla grip handshake?
Paisner: Well, he coulda got hit with a gorilla grip spinebuster, so smart on Ikbal for immediately noping out of the handshake.
Blackheart and Rizwan now slowly circle each other before locking up in a collar and elbow tie-up, but Rizwan quickly overpowers and yanks Blackheart into a front facelock. Seth quickly backs up and the two bounce off the ropes and Blackheart pushes Rizwan to escape the hold as Rizwan now gains momentum and comes off the opposite ropes. Blackheart drops to the mat as Rizwan jumps over, comes off the ropes, and as he comes off those ropes with a picked up speed, Blackheart attempts to hip toss Rizwan, but can’t get the larger man off his feet as Rizwan counters and throws Blackheart onto the mat with an arm toss!
Crowd: YEAAAAA!!!
Blackheart quickly snaps back up to his feet clutching his back and tries to now put space between them but Rizwan runs at Blackheart and tries to clothesline him over the ropes, but Blackheart ducks as Rizwan goes over the top rope but skins the cat and lifts himself back into the ring!
Woodbridge: That man is over 300 pounds, the strength to be able to lift his own body weight back into the ring is remarkable-
A SMACK rings out through the venue when Blackheart immediately launches a chop to Rizwans chest as soon as his feet hit the ring!
Crowd: OHHHHH!!
Paisner: Remarkable strike by Blackheart to the broad chest of Rizwan!
Blackheart now launches another chop to the chest of Rizwan, who has his arms wrapped in the ropes so a 5 count is now administered by Mia So Hung. Blackheart ignores her and launches chop after chop into Rizwan’s chest!
Crowd: BOOOOO!!!!
Rizwan’s chest is now red as the chops continue and the count reaches 4 but Rizwan suddenly fires back and launches a LOUD chop that sends Blackheart to the mat!
Crowd: OOOHHH!!!! ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME!
Rizwan now picks up Blackheart to his feet and launches another loud chop, but this time Blackheart manages to stay on his feet, and throw a chop back, but Rizwan blocks it and now launches another chop that has Blackheart stumbling back into the middle of the ring! Rizwan launches another one and Blackheart is nearly on the ropes but as Rizwan approaches Blackheart for another one Blackheart ducks and launches himself at Rizwan’s knee with a shoulder block!
Woodbridge: Ohh! The sudden low strike after a series of chops seemed to have caught Ikbal off guard, as Blackheart has dropped his opponent to one knee!
Blackheart now backs up and tries to send a boot into Ikbals head but Ikbal ducks his head beneath and grabs under the legs of Blackheart to attempt to pull him down for a pin! But Blackheart isn’t pulled down, and instead launches a stomp right onto the eyes of Rizwan!!
Crowd: OHHHH!!
The ref reprimands him for targeting the eyes but Blackheart tells Mia to back off him for her own good as Blackheart stares down at Ikbal, backs up, and attempts to punt the head off Ikbal, who barely pulls himself out of the way by the ropes just in time!
Crowd: Ohhh!
Ikbal is up to his feet and throws a clotheslines but Blackheart ducks and hits a NASTY arm trap neckbreaker!
Crowd: OHHH!!
Woodbridge: He might have broke his neck the way it landed on his shoulder!
Blackheart goes for the cover!
1!
2- No! Kickout!
Blackheart doesn’t let up as he now transitions into a headlock with Rizwan in seated position, choking the life out of Rizwan with a bicep around his neck!
Paisner: Blackheart is able to transition so fluidly between slowly draining the life out of you, and instantly knocking the life out of you, and having to anticipate which one he’s going for must be brutal for even as experienced a competitor as the former QWF champion!
Rizwan stomps his feet on the ring as the crowd begins to clap in a rhythm and rally him out of the hold, and a headbutt is launched back into the nose of Blackheart, who seems pained but keeps the hold on tight! Ikbal hits another headbutt to the head of Blackheart, right onto the nose, and the grip around Ikbals neck is becoming loosened as Ikbal lurches his head forward and swings it back for one more headbutt but Blackheart let go and instead uses Ikbals momentum to throw him to the ground and hitting a double foot stomp to the face of the grounded Rizwan!
Crowd: OHHHH!
Blackheart falls down for the cover!
1!
2!
KICKOUT!
Crowd: YEAAA!!!!!
Woodbridge: Ikbal Rizwan has been able to survive the onslaught of offense but he’s gotta turn this thing around, cause y’aint winning a match by kicking out at 2!
Paisner: You’re right, Mark, and we know that Rizwan is more than capable of unleashing that offense, but right now, he needs to find a way to reverse the momentum that Blackheart has been in firm control of with his brutal arsenal of offense.
Blackheart takes a breather in the corner now as he stares at a worn down Rizwan with a cold, calculated gaze. Seth grabs the ropes of both corners as if to restrain himself as he lurches forward, and Ikbal is on his hands and knees trying to gather his bearings. The crowd begins to see what Blackheart sees and begins to start getting loud and concerned in anticipation for the next sequence!
Woodbridge If Blackheart connects with the Punt here you might as well count to a hundred!
Seth has his head low as he holds onto the ropes and seems to have an almost trance-like stare at his grounded opponent, and the crowd is yelling at Blackheart not to go through with it, but he lets go of the ropes and gets a running start and a swinging kick at the head- NO! DROP TOEHOLD INTO THE STS!
Crowd: YYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Paisner: KHYBER LOCK! BLACKHEART’S IN BIG TROUBLE!
Blackheart desperately claws at the arms of Ikbal but the Stepover Toehold Sleeper is locked in tight around the neck! Blackheart tries rolling over but Rizwan has a good 100 pounds on him and has the leg locked in, and Blackheart can’t get out from underneath the larger man! Blackheart looks tormented in the hold, his long hair hanging in his face as the massive arms of Rizwan wrench back tighter and Blackheart looks like he’s beginning to show signs of fading!
Crowd: TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!
Blackheart looks desparate and has nowhere to go as he begins to lift a hand out for the ropes but there's none in the vicinity as the hold is locked on right in the middle of the ring, and as his hand begins to tremble near the mat he reaches back in a last ditch effort and claws at the eyes of Rizwan!
Crowd: BBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Paisner: NO!! RIZWAN CLUTCHES AT HIS ALREADY TARGETED EYE!!
Blackheart now rolls out of the ring, grabbing at his neck and gasping for air as Rizwan clutches at his eye still and tries to tell Mia what happened but she explains she didn’t see it from her angle as Rizwan takes a minute to recover in the middle of the ring.
Paisner: Damnit, Blackheart resorting to such nasty tactics yet again in this match!
Woodbridge: Have you SEEN the fingernails on that guy? If I’m Ikbal I take the countout and go straight to the bathroom to wash my eyes out-
Paisner: Mark. Come on.
Blackheart has caught his breath and rolls back into the ring, and Rizwan is only just getting to his feet as Blackheart kicks him in the gut and puts him in position for a piledriver!
Paisner: He’s going for Penance, and if he hits this jumping sit-out piledriver it could be game over for-
Rizwan swiftly counters by wrapping his arms around Blackhearts torso, shifting his head out from underneath Seth’s legs, and hitting him with a northern lights suplex that he instantly transitions into a Triangle arm chokehold!
Crowd: YEEAAAA!!!!!!!
Paisner: IKBAL!!! Back in control with the Himalayan Suplex Clutch!!!
Blackheart yells in agony but this time he doesn’t let the submission sink in as he instantly summons all the strength he has to lift Rizwan up!
Crowd: ooooOOOOOOOOHHH!!!
Blackheart somehow lifts Rizwan almost above his own head but Rizwan lets go of the hold, manages to flip onto his feet, and Rizwan is swift with the go-behind and lifts Blackheart up into the air and slams him down with a suplex takedown!!
Crowd: YYEAAA!!!
Ikbal then maintains a gutwrench and rolls Seth into a pin!
1!
2- NO! KICKOUT!
Rizwan still has control of Blackheart and slides around to convert the hold into a grounded front facelock! Blackheart hits a right to the gut of Ikbal!
Crowd: Booooo!!!
And Ikbal counters with a right hand to the face of Blackheart!
Crowd: YEAAAA!!!!
Blackheart responds with a nasty slap to the face of Ikbal that seems to set him off!
Crowd: OHHH! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP!
Ikbal delivers a wicked chop that lights up the chest of Blackheart! And another! The chops resound with brutal thwacks as Blackheart is sent reeling against the ropes, but Blackheart stops the momentum cold with a boot to the gut of Rizwan!
Crowd: BOOOO!!!!
Blackheart runs the ropes now, coming off and attempting a big boot, but Rizwan ducks underneath, and hits a quick body scissors takedown with his legs before rolling up Blackhearts legs against his chest and rolling on top of Blackheart and folding his arms! The pin!
1!
2!
Blackheart reverses by lifting up his shoulders and now wrapping his arms around the torso of Rizwan, pulling himself up and spinning around before leaning down for a backslide pin, but Blackheart doesn’t drop Rizwan, instead lifting him up into a Crucific Powerbomb and throwing Rizwan into the turnbuckle!
Crowd: OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Paisner: OH MY GOD!!!
As Rizwan comes off Blackheart kicks him in the gut and wrenches the head under his arm as he grabs the tights and jumps back and lifts Rizwan into a Penance Piledriver!
Crowd: BOOOOOOO!!!!
Woodbridge: SPIKED ON HIS HEAD! IT’S OVER!
Blackheart goes for the pin and hooks the leg!
1!
2!
3- NO!
Crowd: YYEAAAAA!!!!!!
Paisner: Rizwan survives one more move! But can he possibly overcome the amount of punishment he’s taken over the course of this match?!
Blackheart seems frustrated now and lifts Rizwan to his feet once again, and sets him up in a DDT position.
Woodbridge: Looks like he’s answering your question, Pais! If he hits his Blackheart DDT, Rizwan won’t be getting back up!
Blackheart attempts to pull at the head of Rizwan but Rizwan snaps into action with a Northern Lights suplex!
Crowd: YEEAA!!!!
But instead of turning it into the triangle arm choke again, he maintains the grip around Blackhearts torso, bringing them both back up to their feet before planting another Northern Lights suplex!
Crowd: ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME!
Rizwan grips tight to Blackheart and swings his hips to turn back onto their feet, and with a tight grip around his waist and head under the arm of Blackheart, Rizwan goes for one more but Blackheart suddenly grabs a suffocating grip of Ikbal’s head under his arms and then grabs the tights of Ikbal and pulls him into a Blackheart DDT!!!
Crowd: BOOOO!!!!
Paisner: What’s he doing? Blackheart isn’t going for the cover, he’s instead clawing over to the corner- oh no.
Blackheart, now seething with a deranged look on his face, takes off from the corner and PUNTS the head of Rizwan!
Crowd: OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
The crowd’s sickened reaction seems to put a smile on Blackheart’s face as collapses onto Rizwan for the cover.
1!
2!
3!
DING DING DING
Javier: Your winner at a time of 12 minutes and 22 seconds- SEEETHH BLACCKKHEARRTTT!!!
Crowd: BOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Blackheart leans down and shakes the hand of the limp Rizwan before the ref separates him and checks on Rizwan to make sure he’s alright. Blackheart rolls out of the ring and ignores the mudslide of boos from the Tennessee crowd as he walks out of the venue as calm and collected as he was when he entered it.
Woodbridge: Good christ, he probably could have won with just the DDT! I get he wanted to put him out but that just felt excessive!
Paisner: Another opponent downed by the gruesome Punt kick, and Blackheart’s mean streak seems to only have just begun. God have mercy on this company.
Rizwan comes to eventually and waves off Mia So Hung but looks like he’s gonna need an ice pack as he now leaves the ring clutching at his head.
Our camera cuts backstage to Stephen Romero, having a salad peacefully in catering, before he is interrupted by one Tony the Milkman, entering, and holding a leather jacket in one hand, which is covered in a fingerless glove, and the cardboard belt in the other.
Stevens: Brother Romero, you seem to be having issues with… those who wish to harm you.
Jim Baker also enters, and stands behind Milkman.
Stevens: But never fear, Romero! Your old buddy Tony Tag Teams has a solution. You see when I was having my issues with that piece of shit Joey McCarty, I realize that what I needed even more so than the $2.75 I make when I sell a gallon of milk, is a friend. Somebody who watches your back and you watch theirs. I know you’ve been accosted already by Buster…”
Stevens holds out the jacket to Romero, which he tentatively takes.
Stevens: But I hope you’ll… consider joining our circle of friends.
Romero looks at the jacket in his hand as Stevens and Baker walk out, closing the door behind them. Romero seems to be considering the offer… for a moment, before throwing the jacket to the ground.
Romero: Nah, not feelin’ it.
Romero picks up his salad and heads out. The camera pans to over to the fallen jacket, where we see one Dexter Flux sneaking around the room. He picks up the jacket, tries it on, and walks out with the jacket on.
We cut to Chad Hammocks standing in front of a door that is decorated with small flags in the colors of red, white and blue. Chad awkwardly knocks on the door and waits for a few seconds. Behind the door you hear the music quiet down.
???: Shhh.. shh..!
A few second later, the door swings open.
Large group: SURPRISE!!!
Chad is flabbergasted, shocked as a smile appears on his face.
Chad: You guys.. how did you know it was my birthday!
The entire group looks on happy for him as Hammocks slowly steps inside.. until Louis Blackwater appears.
Blackwater: Nevermind! You’re not Dutch.
Chad’s smile disappears in an instant as we hear an audible sigh escape from him.
Blackwater: But hey.. that doesn’t mean you can’t join the party!
Chad looks on confused, staring back at Blackwater.
Chad: ..what party then?
Blackwater: This party! Let me show you around, ya ol’ chump! Come with me.
As the camera pans around, we see many homeless people wearing celebratory hats as they look around, probably looking for drugs.
Blackwater: We’re holding a party to celebrate Mark Dutch’s victory over Maverick last week!
Chad: ...where’s Dutch?
Blackwater stares around blankly before he turns back to Chad.
Blackwater: No fucking clue, to be honest. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t celebrate. It’s like how we celebrate Lincoln’s birthday on the 4th of July. He’s dead, but we still shoot firework!
Chad: That’s not..
Blackwater: Let me introduce you to someone tho I think you will really like.
With an arm wrapped around Chad, Blackwaters walk over to a rather large woman wearing neon colored short shorts and a fluorecent yellow bra that is barely covering up.. her. She stands there holding a hand full of cake which she bites from, seeing her ~~inner mouthflap~~ tongue sometimes appearing between her fingers to lick frosting off her fingers.
Blackwater: So this is… what’s your name again?
???: It’s Suga Rise, sugar.
Blackwater: God I love that woman. Chad, this is Sugar level. Did you know that she was a.. lady of the night?
Chad looks over at her, his eyes traveling up and down before he looks back at Louis, who looks back with a smirk and raised eyebrows.
Chad: I had an assumption.
Blackwater: NOT ANYMORE! It’s dangerous outside, Chad. Who knows who’d want to hit you over the head with a bat because you licked their butthole? Well she does.
Chad: Well.. congratulations on your.. improvement.
Suga Rise: Thank you, sugar. I’m an escort now.
Chad: what?
Blackwater: Yeah! She works inside now as we hired her here to add a bit more.. sex appeal, you know?
While Chad looks more confused about what he heard, all of a sudden the music playing gets changed from a happy tune to Five Finger Death Punch. Blackwater immediately looks over and sees a veteran messing with the iPad through which the music is played. Blackwater claps his hand and walks out of frame while he is heard shouting.
Blackwater: HEY! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT USING THE iPAD?!
The camera still looks at Chad who is standing there with Suga. Her hand is now placed on Chad’s shoulder while she looks into his pockets, possibly trying to find a snickers bar.
Chad: ehh.. back to you guys?
We come back to the ring, where we see Jaiver standing, ready for more action.
Javier: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
The PA hits an absolutely ICONIC synth line as Duval’s finest rolls out on the finest BMX bike Walmart has to offer spraypainted tea. He’s wearing his signature Gators jersey and bright teal cargo pants.
Javier: Introducing first, weighing in tonight at 169 pounds from Duval Country, Florida. Chip Rutgers!
Crowd: Yaaaay!/BOOOOOOOO!
Paisner: what why is chip garnering such a strong mixed reaction
Woodbridge: Well, it’s all a matter of perspective. The WiR fans in the crowd see Chip Rutgers, cult hero and fan favourite. The locals see a dude in a Florida jersey.
Rutgers rides to the ring, but misjudges the steepness of the ramp and rides right into the side of the ring, crashing into a trampoline set up for Jericho Styles’ entrance later, and flipping into the ring onto his face.
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!
Woodbridge: WHAT A SICK STUNT!
Paisner: I don’t think that was on purpose..
Woodbridge: EVEN BETTER!
Rutgers lies face-down in the ring for about a minute before pulling himself up on the ropes and standing, to the cheers of the crowd, just as they turn to boos when We get some real grimey guitar as Joey McCarty’s theme hits.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Joey McCarty walks out from behind the curtain… wearing a fishbowl helmet!
Javier: And his opponent, weighing in tonight at 235 pounds, from Woodstock, Ontario, Canada. Joey McCarty!
Paisner: Why does McCarty look like spaceman?
Woodbridge: I dont fucking know maybe he just wants to look like an asshole
McCarty runs to the ring, jumping over Rutgers’ bike, and rolling into the ring.
DING DING DING
Rutgers: POCKET SAND!
Rutgers grabs sand from his lowest pocket, and throws it at McCarty. The sand just kinda bounces off the face mask. McCarty just stares Rutgers down
Rutgers: uh
Rutgers frantically checks all his pockets, finding nothing but sand. McCarty begins walking towards
Rutgers: UH
Rutgers finds his fireball, but fumbles it. Panicked, Rutgers grabs for his last pocket, and throws its contents at McCarty. But it’s just cold spaghetti, and he misses McCarty and whaps Maurice Chondon.
McCarty grabs Rutgers and NAILS him with the Five Minute Major!
1
2
3
DING DING DING
Javier: The winner of this match, at a time of 1:46, JOEYYYYY McCARTYYYYY
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOO!
Paisner: Well Joey enters the win column for the first time in a while
Woodbridge: On the other had, the run of losses continues for Rutgers
Paisner: Yeah let’s scrape Chip’s body off the ring while we head to commercial. More right after this!
COMMERCIAL
We fade in from the commercial break. We see that a table and three chairs are set up, one on one side, and two on the other. The crowd is at a lull in the action.
Woodbridge: Allen, you know you don’t have to do this. This is something that should be handled in private.
Paisner: Allen, what other choice do I have? I’m a man, and I’m going to fight this like a man. Just...watch my back, okay?
Woodbridge: You got it, pal.
Allen Paisner stands up, and takes off his headset. He then walks over to the ring announcer, and grabs three microphones. He slides the microphones in, then slides in himself. The crowd claps, giving some support to Allen. He picks up the microphones while getting up, and sets them up on the table. He grabs one, and begins to speak.
Paisner: Are we having a good time, folks?
Crowd: YAAY!!! PAISNER! PAISNER! PAISNER!
Paisner: Good, well as you saw on the last program, I was...served with paperwork. Now, normally, in situations like this, it would be handled and settled privately behind closed doors, but if that man, and he knows I’m talking about him, has any guts he’d handle this out in the open, so that the whole world can see what a pretentious little bitch you are!
Crowd: YAAAY!
Woodbridge: Get him, Allen!
Paisner: So I reserved this time tonight to address the allegations and such brought before me, and now at this time, would the gentleman or gentlemen...come down and let’s settle this thing, right here once and for all!
The crowd cheers. Suddenly a man comes walking out holding a leather briefcase. He ignores the sea of boos he receives walking down the aisle. He walks up the steps by the corner of the ring and enters the ring, awkwardly.
Woodbridge: Of course he doesn’t show up. He just sends his goons.
The man lays his briefcase down. He picks up a microphone and begins to speak.
Lawyer: Hello ladies and gentlemen, my name is Carlos Alberta. I’m the legal console for the plaintiff in this case, who wished to remain anonymous.
Paisner: Cut the crap, we know it’s Balandran, he’s just too much of a coward!
Crowd: He’s a pussy! clap clap clapclapclap He’s a pussy! clap clap clapclapclap
Alberta: Very well...I am the legal console for Austin Balandran regarding this case. He did not wish to be present at the proceedings, but he is watching via stream. Now, I’m sure you’ve read over the list of complaints and debts you owe to him. Now, of course the last thing we want is for this to go to trial...so we have a settlement offer.
Woodbridge: Oh lord, here we go.
Alberta: Recently, my client was in a match at one of your iPayPerView? I’m sorry, I’m not familiar with wrestling. But what I do know is the basic rules of the match. His belief, and my belief, is that he was downright cheated in the finish of the match. His shoulder was up, and the match should have continued. But the match was awarded to Daniel Smith, correct sir?
Paisner: Yeah, I guess. What’s the point, that was weeks ago.
Alberta: My client is willing to forgive those debts on two conditions. One, you acknowledge that the match was indeed flawed, and sticken from both men’s win loss record.
Crowd boos
Woodbridge: Oh come on! That’s ridiculous!
Alberta: And two...you award Austin Balandran the number one contendership for the WiR Championship.
Crowd gets angrier.
Crowd: BULLLSHIT! BULLLLSHIT!
Paisner looks around, thinking. He then pulls the microphone up to his lips.
Painser: Can I speak to your client? Face to face. This is something I want him to hear. I won’t give you an answer unless I can see him.
Alberta nods, pulls out his phone. He then calls out. The crowd quiets down a bit so they can hear, but the audio doesn’t pick up on what he’s saying. Then CASH plays over the PA. Austin Balandran emerges from the curtain. The crowd immediately boos. He has the world’s biggest grin on his face, like he pulled off the heist of the century. He spins around showing off his suit. He then enters the ring finally, and picks up a microphone.
Balandran: Well, Allen. Looks like you’ve finally seen the light, son! Now you know...that you’re not shit around here! There’s not a person around in this company who wouldn’t do what I’m doing to you right now. Only difference is, is that you pay them so little to where they would just rather leave than to FINALLY bring justice to your front door. And now, as you’re NEW...number one…
Paisner: Shut the hell up!
The crowd roars as Austin looks stunned. Paisner continues.
Paisner: You know, I’ve been thinking long and hard about the things you’ve said about me, to me, and to other people. And I’ve got to say, I may not like a lot of guys due to their attitude, but you...I hate you. I hate your stinking guts. I hate the fact that you blindsided me with money in order for you to get any kind of notice around here, and if you think that WiR would fail without you, our savior, mister, you’re dead wrong!
Crowd: YAY!
Paisner: THAT MAN IN THE FRONT ROW IS WiR!...THOSE KIDS IN THE CHEAP SEATS...THEY’RE WiR...EVERY PERSON IN THIS ARENA EXCEPT FOR YOU...IS DOUBLE YOU. EYE. ARE!
Crowd: Dub I R! Dub I R! Dub I R!
Austin laughs.
Balandran: But these people didn’t pay your bills, Allen. I did. These people didn’t make sure that everyone left with a paycheck. I did. Not Maverick, not Stephen Romero, and sure as hell not Kyle Scott. Me. So before you beat your chest, you need to remember who you’re speaking to. I am the de facto owner of WiR whether you like it or not.
Crowd boos.
Woodbridge: Maybe in an alternate timeline, but not here, and definitely not now.
Balandran: All you gotta do to save yourself and this company that you love, Allen...is sign.
Alberta pulls out a piece of paper from his briefcase. He slides it over to Painser, who then smiles.
Paisner: How about this, Austin? Since you’re better than everyone else, how about this? First person to come out here, right now, gets a match with you at “It Just Means More.” That man wins, you drop your lawsuit. You win...you get what you want. I’ll do it.
Austin grins. He looks over at his lawyer, who shrugs.
Balandran:...you’re on.
Crowd explodes.
Woodbridge: What a bombshell! But who’s gonna answer the call?
Balandran: But your man only has one minute to show up...or it’s just gonna be me and you.
Austin starts to move closer to Paisner, who’s trying to escape…
Suddenly.
Woodbridge: WHAT THE HELL!?
Balandran turns around to see if his ears are deceiving him. He looks all around, trying to figure out what’s going on. He takes his jacket off and throws it out of the ring, motioning towards the entrance. Out walks…KLUTCH!
Crowd: YAAAAAY!
Klutch looks around. He takes a deep breath and then looks at Balandran. He points at Balandran, then starts to make a beeline towards the ring. Austin jumps out of the ring as Alberta jumps out too, wanting no part of this. Austin meets Klutch in the middle and they begin to trade blows back and forth. Klutch hits a big right hand to Balandran, causing him to retreat towards the ring. He rolls in as Klutch follows closely behind, chasing him. Paisner backs up, not wanting to be in the way.
Woodbridge: Balandran trying to get away!
Balandran turns around and is greeted with a swift kick to the gut by Klutch. Klutch then sets up Balandran for the Y2Klutch, but Balandran pushes his legs away and escapes the ring. Klutch then looks around the arena then back at Balandran who’s halfway up the entryway now. He points at Balandran. He then looks behind him and sees Paisner. He then pulls him in, and raises his right hand. Klutch’s music kicks back on and the crowd goes nuts.
Woodbridge: You know, typically, it’s hard to bet against Austin Balandran...but now with Klutch back in the fold...Austin’s in for a long night at It Just Means More! We’ll be right back folks once we get some order restored here. Hell yeah, Allen!
Paisner, wiping tears from his eyes, audibly saying thank you as we fade out from the scene
Camera fades in from the previous action
Dan Smith: "-and trust in god and his will, as even when you can't see it, it's at work."
Ain't No Grave By Johnny Cash starts playing, a slow moving montage moves along the Smith household, from the Mitt Romney poster in the garage to the rusted jeep to a grey scaled Book Of Mormon being read by Dan Smith to his litany of children, spread across the floor like a pre-school reading session. Each Child gets their own individual shot, intently looking at their father, who now smiles and tells them to go to their rooms
Dan Smith: Am I a little bit disappointed my title match hasn't been booked yet? of course. But what kind of a holy man would I be if I strayed from god's light and let myself give in to the sin of anger? I have been blessed by god to be put in this position and given the strength to whoop Balandran. Now I just have to wait around for the next chance I'm given to show god's gifts. But until then, I have to run some errands around the house before the ole ball and chain gets mad at me...she really can pack a punch dad laugh unlike some of the others on the roster. Anyways, I gotta head back to bible study.
The camera pans out, showing another kid clamped onto his leg
We come back to the ring once more, where we the threatening presence of Iron Man by Black Sabbath signal Marshall Wheeler from out behind the curtain. Walking with a certain determination to prove himself after being left behind, not paying any mind to the audience as he makes his way to the ring. Then shortly after, we hear another tune, as Comatose by Skillet signals the arrival of Jericho Styles, his head still bandaged up from being punted last week, but looking mostly functional as he makes his way down. Slapping hands with fans and kissing babies, as he reaches his trampoline, jumps on it a few times to his own amusement, before stepping off and entering the ring normally, as Undersach then calls for the bell!
DING DING DING
The match starts off, as the two men circle around one another, before Wheeler makes the first move! Getting a go-behind on Styles, but Styles reverses into his own go-behind! From which he drops down and trips up Wheeler’s legs from behind! Dropping Wheeler face first onto the mat! Wheeler springs up onto his knees holding at his face, as Styles runs the ropes, and comes back to nail Wheeler in the head with a kneeling enziguri! Rocking Wheeler and dropping him to the mat, as Styles then quickly decides to go high, running towards the ropes, and jumping off to land a springboard moonsault that he pins off of! Getting a 1.5 in the process!
Styles then lifts Wheeler back up, and nails him with a kick to the left leg! Then to the right leg! Then he uses his left leg to kick Wheeler in the chest, then his right to kick Wheeler in the chest again! And then, he swings with the left leg for the head! But Wheeler catches it, and uses the leg to pull Styles in, and take him down to the mat with a vicious lariat! From there Wheeler goes on the assault, first stomping Style’s chest in, then mounting him to rain down forearms upon his head. Styles tries to crawl away, but Wheeler keeps Styles near his grasp, lifts him up, and whips him into a corner upon which he rushes Styles and nails him in the head with a vicious elbow strike! Then a whip into the opposite corner for another elbow strike! Then back into the original corner for a third elbow strike! Then back into the opposite for a fourth elbow strik! Styles seeming about to fall over onto the mat if it weren’t for Wheeler keeping him up, and bringing him closer to the center of the ring, where he whips Styles into the ropes, and finishes off the elbow string with a vicious spinning back elbow! Absolutely clocking Styles, dropping to them at like a sack of potatoes, Wheeler covers, but only for a 2.5!
Wheeler then goes to quickly get back on Styles, picking him up, setting Styles right in front of him, then swinging with his short arm lariat to finish Styles off! But suddenly, Styles kicks Wheeler’s arm away, then pulls out a desperation codebreaker on Wheeler! Leaving Wheeler completely dazed on the mat, as Styles can’t directly capitalize due to exhaustion! Styles then eventually begins to make his way up, Wheeler not long after, Styles seemingly prepared for this, as when Wheeler makes it up, Styles charges, and takes Wheeler’s head off with a shoryuken like jumping uppercut! Flattening Wheeler to the ground! Styles with a new found confidence, lets out a roar of determination! Before picking Wheeler up, whipping him into the ropes, Wheeler getting caught up in them, as Style’s comes in, and jumps up high for a springboard “rainbow” cutter! But he connects with nothing! Wheeler suddenly ducks his head under, and grabs Styles from behind in a rear naked choke! Styles panics, reaching for the ropes that seem oh so close to him, but barely unable to grasp, as Wheeler slowly backs himself off to the middle of the ring, Style’s struggling unable to save him, as Wheeler drops down and hooks Style’s in a bodyscissored rear naked choke! Fully locking in “Lifeblood”, as Style’s taps out!
DING DING DING
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Wheeler securing the win via submission in 7:01, takes a moment to catch his breath, before standing up, and looking down on the nearly passed out Styles with a smug satisfaction. Ringside crew assist Styles to the back, as Wheeler makes a confident stride there on his own two feet

“Hello, Jews out there! Your boy is here!”: Quotes and Stories from “Loose Balls: The Short, Wild Life of the American Basketball Association” (Non Hall of Famers Edition)

Over the weekend, I really engrossed myself in Terry Pluto’s fantastic book “Loose Balls: The Short, Wild Life of the American Basketball Association”. There were so many good stories that I decided to keep a document and share with y’all! First up is the Non-Hall-of-Fame Player section, hope y’all enjoy! (If you’re skimming for Marvin Barnes stories, I decided he deserved his own post.)

Charlie Williams (ABA guard)

It was an adventure every night. I was with Pittsburgh, and our first exhibition game was against the New Jersey Americans. New Jersey’s uniforms never showed up and they played in white T-shirts with numbers written on the back in Magic Marker. They also wore shorts or sweat pants that didn’t match. Never in my life was I so grateful to have my own uniform.
Later, we played a game in New Orleans that was held up for a half hour because something happened to the electricity. (A possum got into the wiring.)

Les Selvage (Anaheim Amigos guard)

But Les Selvage was a legend in the first year of the ABA. He was a 6-foot-3 guard who was in love with the 3-point line. He acted like if he stepped over it, he was going to get killed or something. He didn’t just shoot 25-footers—he took 30-footers. I am not exaggerating. And he did it at any time in the game. He’d be on the wing on a fast break, stop a good step behind the 3-point line and cut loose. And the guy had strong arms and wrists—he didn’t take a set shot from 30 feet, he took a normal jumper.
During the ABA’s first season, Selvage fired away from 3-point range 461 times, not just more than any other ABA player but more than any other ABA team but Pittsburgh.[...] After the first third of the season, Selvage was shooting much better from 3-point range (42 percent) than on 2-pointers (32 percent).

Art Heyman (ABA forward)

After that game, a crazy thing happened with Art Heyman. This fan had spit on Art and he punched the guy. Art was in our locker room changing his clothes when the New Orleans police came in and arrested him. We were all staring at Art, wondering how could this guy get in trouble with the cops in the middle of a championship playoff. It turned out that the fan had some sort of physical problem and he didn’t intentionally spit on Art, and when Art decked him a complaint was filed. Art apologized and patched things up, so the charges were dropped.

One of the owners decided to trade for Art Heyman from Pittsburgh without telling anyone else. Heyman showed up in Miami without half the people in the front office knowing he was coming. Bob Halloran from TV-4 in Miami spotted Heyman and interviewed him. Heyman asked Bob, “Does this go out to Miami Beach?” Bob said it did.
Heyman said, “Hello, Jews out there! Your boy is here!”

Larry Brown (ABA player and coach)

When you went on the road, your trainer didn’t go with you. So when you got to a place like Denver, it was up to Denver to supply a trainer you could use that night. In Denver, the trainer they gave us taped my ankle so tight that it ended up bleeding. I went into the shower and cut the tape off and I saw other guys doing the same thing. So I went up to the trainer and asked him what he did in real life—I couldn’t imagine that he did this for a living. The guy hesitated for a moment and said, “Well, I’m a poultry farmer.”

Doug and I flew to New Orleans to meet with somebody about a contract. We expected to go into an office building with a big marquee that said, “New Orleans Buccaneers,” but it was just a regular office building, no sign about the basketball team.
We were led into an office and there was Morton Downey, or Sean Downey Jr. as he was known back then. He had one of those signs on his desk that you can flip over. On one side it said, “American Can Corp., Vice President of Sales.” But when he saw us in the office, he flipped it to the side that said, “Sean Downey Jr., President New Orleans Buccaneers.”

Most ABA coaches were into leisure suits with ridiculous shirts and those collars you could land an airplane on. Larry liked to wear Oshkosh B’Gosh farmer’s overalls. Once in a while, he’d wear leather pants.

Bob Netolicky (Pacers forward)

Ability was only one of the reasons we won. The rest was character. We didn’t have all the white guys hanging out in one place and the black guys in another. We didn’t have guys always whining about money, guys playing out their options and jumping to other teams or even to the other league. 􀀺e didn’t have a coach who sat in the ivory tower and wouldn’t associate with the players. If you wanted to find Slick on the road, you just went to the hotel bar and there he was. He’d sit there, buy you a few drinks and if you and he got blasted once in a while, then you got blasted. It was no big deal.
In Indiana, basketball almost comes before church and family. You see more rims and basketball goals hanging up in some towns than there are people. When I signed with the Pacers back when they were just forming the ABA, (Pacer legal counsel) Dick Tinkham told me, “If you guys win, you’ll be like gods in Indianapolis. This still is a small town. These people have been waiting for something like you guys to come along.”

Neto established himself as a character even before he joined the Pacers, when he flew his own plane to town to sign his contract. He always had exotic pets. He had a wildcat, and the damn thing got out of his house and was running all over his neighborhood. It was on the radio and everything. The police were looking for Neto’s wildcat.

After McGinnis joined the team, you had a big five who hung out together—Brown, Daniels, Neto, Lewis and George. There was a trip to Dallas where we had a break in the schedule and were there for three days. I never saw those guys except at practice. Then I had to go to Neto’s room, and these guys had a three-day card game going. They loved Kentucky Fried Chicken and that was all they ate for three days—I could tell because all the boxes were piled in one corner and Neto’s clothes were in the other corner of the room.

Reggie Harding (Pacers center)

We contacted Reggie and we were supposed to meet him at the Indianapolis airport at 5 A.M. Dick Tinkham and I were waiting for him and when he got off the plane, Reggie was wearing a long black coat that was about six sizes too small. He had a pair of tennis shoes slung over his shoulder, tied together by the laces. Tinkham and I were sitting there in our coats and ties, all proper, and Reggie was looking like a guy who just got out of jail.

Rayl told me, “It was midnight and I was in bed and the lights were out. I heard Reggie come in and I heard him going around the room. It was still dark. Then I heard him close to me. He turned on the light and there was Reggie standing by my bed, holding a gun to my head. He said, ’Tweetie Bird, I hear you hate n*****s.’ ”
Rayl said he didn’t and he kept talking to Reggie and finally got Reggie to hand over the gun. When Reggie did, Rayl took all of the bullets out of the gun and said, “Reggie, let’s go to bed now. We’ve got a game tomorrow.”
Rayl turned out the lights and then he heard Reggie getting up and moving around the room. Rayl turned the lights back on and there was Reggie, again pointing the gun at Rayl. Reggie said, “You didn’t think I only had six shells, did you?”
Rayl grabbed some clothes, walked out of the room and spent the rest of the night sitting up in the hotel lobby.

Dave Twardzik (Virginia Squires guard)

When a player like [Rick] Mount becomes a pro, he discovers that he is put on a pedestal, just as he was in college, but the fans don’t understand the difference between college and pro ball. Some guys are just destined to be great college players but ordinary pros, and Mount was one of them. But the fans who love the player so much have a tough time dealing with his failure. Instead of saying, “Well, he just reached his level,” they blame the coach for not playing him more or using him right. Or they say the other guys on the team are jealous of him. That goes on for a while, then the fans begin to realize—our college star just isn’t that good. That’s when they turn on the player and it can be ugly. I’ve seen guys in that situation get crucified by the fans.

Willie Wise (Utah Stars forward)

A lot of people thought Willie was strange, and I think that was why he wasn’t drafted higher. He was with Drake during the 1969 Final Four and he said that he really didn’t want to play pro basketball, he wanted to drive a truck for a living. He was a reborn Seventh-Day Adventist and people thought he might not play pro ball because of his religious convictions. I roomed with him on the road for one trip. He would turn the heat up to 85, 90 degrees for a few hours, then he’d open all the windows. I don’t know why he did it, but we’d joke that he was having hot flashes like a lady in menopause. A year later, when the team moved to Utah, Willie bought a motorcycle, which was considered a big deal and very antiestablishment back then.

John Brisker (ABA forward)

The legendary Brisker story was that in one of its training camps, Pittsburgh brought in an ex-football player who was supposed to control Brisker. The football player was supposed to get into a scrimmage with Brisker and the first time Brisker stepped out of line, the football player was supposed to flatten him. Well, the two guys started going at it. Then the football player said, “The hell with you, I’m gonna get my gun.” And Brisker said, “If you’re getting a gun, then I’m gonna get my gun.” Then the two guys ran off the court in different directions, presumably to get their guns. The coaches took one look at all that and called off practice before someone really did get killed.

One time I was officiating a Pittsburgh game and Brisker was late coming onto the floor for the second half. Turned out that he had a fight in the dressing room with one of his own players.

From that point on, there was a $500 bounty on Brisker’s head. If he ever started up talking or shoving somebody, the first player on my team to deck him would get $500. We never had any more trouble with Brisker.

Warren Jabali (ABA forward)

We were in the dressing room once and we had a black rookie on our team, I can’t remember the kid’s name. Anyway, Warren noticed that the kid was wearing cotton underwear. Jabali reached over and literally ripped the shorts right off the kid. Warren said, “Don’t you know that our ancestors had to pick this cotton? Get yourself some slick drawers.”

[In 1968-1969] Oakland’s Warren Jabali was suspended for 15 days and fined $250 for stomping the Stars’ Jim Jarvis in the face.

A week later, we were playing Jabali’s team and he was shoving our guys around. He pushed Neil Johnson and Neil went down. He sat on the floor staring at Jabali. Then Neil got up and walked over to Jabali and belted him. I mean, boom, Jabali went down like a tree. He just coldcocked Jabali. It wasn’t a suckerpunch because Jabali had to see it coming. Then Johnson stood over him and screamed, “Get up, you son-of-a-bitching racist, so I can really kick your ass.”

In the [1972-1973] All-Star Game, the West beat the East 123-111 in Salt Lake before 12,556. The players on the winning team received $500 each, the losers received $300. Warren Jabali was the MVP as he scored all 16 of his points in the second half. Jabali won a free airline ticket to anywhere in Europe, but the Muslim forward said, “I want to go to Africa instead. If they won’t send me to Africa, I want the money instead of the ticket. Why should I go to Europe? I don’t know anyone there”

Johnny Neumann (ABA guard)

One of his favorite phrases was, “Paper (cash) means nothing to me.” He bought a sports car in Indianapolis while the Memphis team was in town for a night game, then had to find someone to drive the car home. He said things such as, “To be honest, I was the biggest thing to ever come out of Memphis other than Elvis.”

I had Johnny in his second year and he owned seven cars. He also had a stock car with his name on it. He had blown nearly all of his money. Charlie Finley and I worked with him and got him down to three cars by the end of the season.

The legendary Johnny Neumann story was that one night he was sitting on the bench and the coach called his name. Neumann stood up, tore off his warm-up pants, and all he was wearing underneath was his jockstrap.

The guy was the best practice passer I’ve ever seen. He really could see the floor and make the right pass to the right guy at the right time. It was amazing how well he handled the ball in our practices in Virginia. Then the striped shirts and whistles would come out and forget it —Johnny had tunnel vision on the court.

He was going through a divorce and he had this girlfriend in Salt Lake City. He was continually flying out to see her; that was his champagne taste. So he was going through a lot of money between the divorce and the trips to Salt Lake. His wife in Memphis was going to keep his Jaguar and the house in Memphis, so Johnny needed some cash. One day he walked into the dressing room and was sort of auctioning off the Ferrari and Harley, seeing what anybody on the team might be willing to pay.

Doug Moe (ABA player and coach)

One of the biggest disappointments in my life was going into the NBA after the merger. The NBA was a rinky-dink league—listen, I’m very serious about this. The league was run like garbage. There was no camaraderie; a lot of the NBA guys were aloof and thought they were too good to practice or play hard. The NBA All-Star Games were nothing— guys didn’t even want to play in them and the fans could care less about the games. It wasn’t until the 1980s, when David Stern became commissioner, that the NBA figured out what the hell they were doing, and what they did was a lot of the stuff we had in the ABA—from the 3-point shot to All-Star weekend to the show biz stuff. Now the NBA is like the old ABA. Guys play hard, they show their enthusiasm and there is a closeness in the league. Hell, the ABA might have lost the battle, but we won the war. The NBA now plays our kind of basketball.

When Doug Moe first came into the league, he wore a white T-shirt, jeans and tennis shoes everywhere. When Doug became a coach, the only change was that sometimes he wore a different color Tshirt.

Wendell Ladner (ABA forward)

Wendell was forever diving for loose balls and he chased one down in front of our bench. He went after it headfirst and came smack down into the water cooler, a glass water cooler, and he had to get 100-some stitches. The thing was that Wendell wanted to come back and play in the second half.

Once we were flying into Washington, D.C., and from the window of the plane, Wendell looked out, saw the Washington Monument and said, “I bet that’s the Washington Post.”

Ladner was running after someone and he ran right out of his shoe. Freddie Lewis was dribbling the ball away from Wendell, who was hobbling around in one shoe. Wendell was so frustrated that he threw his shoe right at Lewis, hitting Freddie in the back. Freddie was a little guy, but he was a fighter and his initial instinct was to take a swing at whoever had hit him with the shoe. But when he turned and saw it was Wendell, he just smiled.

Fly Williams (Spirits of St. Louis forward)

Fly was a legend long before he got to St. Louis. The story that went around with the Fly, and I always thought it had to be apocryphal but it still makes the point, was that when Fly was recruited by Austin Peay, he got on a plane in New York and flew to Austin, Texas. That was where he figured Austin Peay had to be. When he got off the plane, he said to the first guy he saw, “Hey, where’s The Peay, man?” Heaven only knows what the man thought Fly was asking. Anyway, Fly then called his coach and said he was in Austin, Texas, and “There’s no Peay here, man.” The coach was telling him that Austin Peay was in Clarksville, Tennessee, and he started routing him from Austin to Clarksville. Fly became confused and said, “No, man, I’m going home.” Then he flew to New York and called the coach from LaGuardia Airport, and from there he flew to Clarksville.

Fly did things in college such as dribbling the ball off the court during a game to get a drink from a fountain in that old gym of theirs.

In our first game, Fly Williams had a wide-open layup. He was going 100 miles per hour on a breakaway. All he had to do was just lay the ball over the rim or dunk it. Instead, he went for a 360-degree layup. He turned himself completely around and nearly spun himself into the floor and threw the ball right over the rim and the backboard.

The famous Fly Williams story was that Fly had no teeth and Harry Weltman wanted to send Fly to the dentist. The team would pay for everything. The dentist told Fly what he needed to do and pulled out a big needle for a Novocain shot. Fly took one look at that needle and he was out of the chair and ran out of the dentist’s office. The dentist called Harry and told him what happened. Then Harry called Fly and said, “What’s going on? You’ve got to have some teeth.” Fly was always so skinny, and part of the reason was that he didn’t eat right as a kid, and when he got older he couldn’t eat right because of his missing teeth. But all Fly would say was, “Man, I wouldn’t be the Fly if I had teeth.”

Maurice Lucas (Spirits of St. Louis power forward)

Early in his rookie year, he was coming off the bench. One night the Spirits were playing Kentucky in Freedom Hall and Lucas was trading elbows with Artis Gilmore. At 7-foot-2 and 240 pounds, Gilmore just towered over Maurice. Lucas’s only chance was to beat Gilmore to a spot on the floor and then try to hold off Artis. Despite his enormous size and strength, Gilmore was never known as a ferocious player and he seldom was in a fight. But all of a sudden, Artis just got sick of Lucas’s bodying him and you could see that the big guy was really hot. Gilmore took a swipe at Lucas and missed. Lucas put up his fists, but he was backpedaling like any sane man would when confronted by Gilmore. It started at the foul line, and Lucas was backing up toward the corner. It was almost slow motion— Gilmore would take a step, then Lucas would take a step back. It was obvious that Lucas didn’t want to fight and was trying to figure out where he could go. Finally, he was trapped in the corner; he had run out of court. He didn’t know what else to do, so he planted his feet and threw this tremendous punch at Gilmore, and it caught Artis square on the jaw. It was a frightening sight. Artis hit the deck. Lucas was going crazy. Now he really did want a piece of Artis. Guys were holding Lucas back and Artis was still down. For whatever reason, from that point on Lucas developed into a helluva player.

Dave Robisch (ABA forward)

When Baltimore folded, a dispersal draft was held for the players and I was taken by San Diego, where Bill Musselman had just been named coach. I went to San Diego and played 11 games. We weren’t drawing well, but I figured the team would make the season. I guess I just didn’t think I could be with two teams that folded in one year. I picked out a condominium and moved my family out there. This is the honest truth: the day the moving van arrived with our stuff, the Sails announced that they had folded. I told the guys just to keep the stuff on the truck and I’d tell them where to take it in a few days. There was another dispersal draft, and this time I went to Indiana. I called the movers and sent them to Indianapolis.

David Vaughn (Virginia Squires center)

Virginia Squires center David Vaughn was shot by a Chesapeake policewoman after a high-speed chase. It began when Vaughn filled up his rented Mark IV at a Shell station in Great Bridge, Virginia, then pulled away without paying for $14 worth of gasoline. Three police cars ended up chasing Vaughn, who refused to pull over. Police said that the upper part of Vaughn’s body could be seen through the sunroof during much of the chase. During the chase, Vaughn rammed into three police cars and the automobile of a woman. When police finally blocked Vaughn’s car, there was a struggle to get him out, and in the process Vaughn was shot by a policewoman who had been on the force for only a month. Vaughn was charged with four counts of “attempted murder with an automobile,” one charge of felonious hit-and-run and reckless driving. The day before this incident, he was arrested for indecent exposure in Virginia Beach while walking outside his home wearing only a T-shirt. Vaughn told arresting officers, “God is naked, too.”

Rich Jones (ABA forward)

Rich Jones’s nickname was “House,” and he had had some financial problems when he played for the Spurs. When he came back to San Antonio for the playoffs, someone had leaked word of House’s troubles to the local press and it ended up in the newspapers. House saw the stories and was so distraught that he wouldn’t even leave his hotel room.

Others

[In 1967-1968] Denver’s Larry Jones became the first ABA player to score 50 points in a game (52, to be exact) as he shot 20-for-28 against Oakland. The prior ABA scoring record was 49, held by Levern Tart. Asked why he had such a hot night, Jones first said he was lucky, then credited eating oatmeal for breakfast.
ABA PR Director Lee Meade created the Bialosuknia Line. Oakland’s Wes Bialosuknia had the longest last name in the league—11 letters. So Meade made the league stats sheets long enough to accommodate players with 11-letter last names. At the University of Connecticut, Wes was known as “The Typographical Terror.” He also had a 3.0 GPA in economics.
Carolina rookie Dennis Wuycik played eight minutes in his first ABA game—and fouled out.
The NBA and ABA players had a summer All-Star Game [in 1971-1972], with the NBA winning 125–120, despite the fact that Kareem Abdul-Jabbar didn’t play. He was married that morning. New York’s Walt Frazier was the MVP.
Backup center Garfield Smith asked San Diego for a guaranteed $100,000 contract. The Qs responded by putting him on waivers.
[Virginia Squires player] Ticky Burden forgot his uniform [in a game against the Spirits of St. Louis] and had to wear a road Spirits jersey, inside out to hide the St. Louis name.

A few pages out of my books about Sports Gambling

There's something more going on at McKamey Manor haunted attraction

is it legal to bet on money in tennessee video

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