Note: I'm writing this as someone who has watched the entire original series, Fire Walk With Me, The Missing Pieces, and The Return, as well as other features from Lynch's filmography (Lost Highway, Mulholland Drive, Elephant Man, Blue Velvet, Eraserhead); marked for spoilers now, do not proceed if you haven't seen them all. This is a longpost for Twin Peaks-obsessed nuts like me.
One of the things that remains a statement of the original incarnation (and thus, a statement by being substituted with HD digital cameras in The Return) is Twin Peaks's absolute mastery of the highly saturated 4:3 box TV aesthetic. I've heard Lynch was adamant the color palette not be corrected to a grittier, desaturated version when execs received the tapes. It's part of what's made so many iconic sequences and shots from the original run hallmarks of Tumblr and Instagram accounts aplenty. Twin Peaks came (and could be argued, ushered) on the precipice of a major shift in the television format. We would see the contemporary form of television media developed further with shows like The Sopranos in the HBO prime cable era, or The X-Files (no wonder Chris Carter plundered Twin Peaks's cast for his own attempt). As a marker for the end of the 80s and its preceding decades though, in many ways Twin Peaks to spoke to a form of TV largely since faded: soap operas and sitcoms and serials. It's part of why I loved the metatextual inclusion of the soap opera Invitation to Love, allowing the show to reference its own stylized dramaturgy.

Jade & Emerald... Jade give two rides, hm?
Very specifically, I find the series loves to riddle blue and red, like one oni to another. Fire and water. Hot-cold (like the shivery feeling Audrey gets when she holds an ice cube on her bare skin for a long time). The red and blue on Mike's TP varsity letterman jacket could be the most striking and concise marriage of this dynamic pairing. Donna & Maddie dive into this in the season 2 opener, scheming at the Double R (docked points for the silly jailhouse seduction routine by Donna, though). Subtler in palette but more obvious in Americana, Major Briggs's omnipresent blue uniform incorporates red in his breast patch (and Don S. Davis's ruddy-warm complexion, imo) speaking to his inherent patriotism as part of the Air Force. On more than one occasion Big Ed is spotted with a red & blue flannel.
Much to be said about the pairing of Bobby & Mike, comparing to BOB & MIKE; MIKE saw the face of God, but Bobby is the one who saw the light in this duo.
The flashing lights of a cop car. Dr. Jacoby's iconic 3D glasses-flavored shades (note that Jacoby and Ben both hailed from the Robert Wise-directed 1961 film adaptation of West Side Story, the famous 50s musical depicting rival gangs experiencing a Romeo & Juliet plot amidst culture clash in NYC). Lil the Dancer, communicating through expressive dance a coded message in FWWM. A barbershop quartet in the background behind Coop & Albert in "Coma".
I believe it's The Secret History of Twin Peaks book that is paired with red and blue filter lenses, so you can view certain hidden information? Either way, Lynch likes his 50s/60s Americana; reminds me of Castle Horror gimmicks.
The blue flower was a central Romanticism symbol; as blue roses don't occur in nature, they hold an air of mystery and fantastic possibility. Tennessee Williams used the blue rose to symbolize the fragile & unique character Laura(!!) in The Glass Menagerie.
The sign outside One-Eye Jack's. Red pairs often with green or black in gambling/casino situations; from the card deck motif for the sex workers to the mix-match patches of a roulette wheel. The malfunctioning lift for Leo in "The Orchid's Curse." The stage behind Julee Cruise during Roadhouse performances, especially "Lonely Souls." Even though the Red Room is known for its red, we see eventually that the Lodge holds strobing blue lights and the milky cataracts of doppelgangers. In a more peaceful sense, blue light washes over Laura as she smiles in the Lodge at the end of FWWM, reunited finally with her angel.
You can practically hear the buzz of the neon zapping into life from here. Knowing how important electricity is to Twin Peaks, these little details really stand out.
Ben and Jerry, at various times, switch between the two to complement each other much like the Miser Brothers. We also see it in Ben's interactions with Catherine; their affair in "Traces to Nowhere" finds Catherine clad in a powdery blue blanket, Ben's fiery tie, Catherine's ruby toenails (sidenote: not a fan of the Tarantino interaction). We see more of this Ben-Catherine color scheme in "Cooper's Dreams" during the Iceland convention with Leland's impromptu dancefloor breakdown. Ben, as central locus for Twin Peaks's criminal element, seems to be a lightning pole for these color dynamics. Notable is his integral need as a character to keep his publicly clean image and seedy underworld dealings separate, the perfect human symbol for Lynch's sequence in Blue Velvet's intro depicting the rotting & squirming insects buried beneath the idyllic Levittown surface of Lumberton. And Ben, even beyond his perennial cigar, enjoys many scenes by the fire of a hearth.
Ben floats through the two by himself on a regular basis, which I think ties into his role as the uber 80s corporate & cold American businessman, espousing social niceties & charm but hiding his sinister and impulsive skeletons in the closet. It's almost like he should be Lodge, but he's only run parallel to it as a human being.
Likewise, when it comes to the Lodge, BOB and the Man from Another Place/The Arm make a perfect red-blue pair. I noticed this especially in FWWM during the chaotic convenience store sequence. Given that during the night the sky can range from black as a cup of Coop's coffee to a Prussian shade, by following a Goethe color theory mindset, we can admit "Blue is a darkness weakened by light." BOB never comes off weak, but as a possessing spirit, for the viewer, his sudden appearances/reveals herald a (at times literal) spotlight into the black oil that is his essence (follow this link for a Youtube vid that informed some of my own theories). Goethe characterizes blue as common (think of country folk and bikers and truckers), as well as cold and melancholy, powerful. Red is much easier for The Arm; in addition to evoking the Christian iconography of a devilish imp figure, he is pure fire, the kind that truly walks with you (Goethe considers red as beautiful, dignified, closer to the essence of light; perhaps this echoes the Neoclassical Venus statue found often with Red Room curtains, or the red lipstick of the various beautiful women commonly prey to Twin Peaks).
BOB's always clad in blue denim to match The Arm's impish red suit. Noticeable since they remain the two most active agents as Lodge creatures, continuing the BOB/MIKE dualism that existed pre-show.
Given the only color left to throw in is white (HMM,, White Lodge? Sarah's pale horse? Leland's hair? The stuffed arctic fox in Ben's office? That weird long-faced elk thing at the Packard-Martell house? Pete and Coop enjoying/trying to order a mug of milk? The Tremond/Chalfont boy's white mask?) and you have the Star-Spangled Banner itself (the mini-flag at Twin Peaks Sheriff's office that flanks Coop while he's sitting across the table from Dr. Jacoby, as well as Coop's fixation on the full-sized incarnation while he's in the Bros. Fusco's office during his Dougie stint in The Return, are just two instances). Notable as a tri-color national aesthetic, red white & blue sometimes finds its way back in altered forms: straightforward visual representation with the Icelandic investors, as well as more tonally & artistically-derived influence from Lynch's favorite country (we'll forget the agonizing French hookup leaving scene from The Return and think more of Monica Bellucci's dream sequence, or Ben & Jerry orgasming over fresh baguettes with brie).
Great shot from Tim Hunter here.
Part 9, \"This is the chair.\" I remember this sequence being a spark of sorts, tantalizing to see Coop stir somewhat from his Dougie stupor.
While it should come as no surprise an American show would have many American-specific themes, I'm often convinced that Lynch is using the visual shorthand to simultaneously sing, criticize, celebrate, and reflect on what it means to be America. It is not coincidence that Dale Bartholomew Cooper's name reflects the notorious Pacific Northwest hijacker D.B. Cooper, or Harry Truman with the 33rd President (who, mind you, ordered the atomic bombs dropped in WWII). Or Franklin "Frank" Truman with the 32nd, for that matter. Coop openly ponders the Kennedy assassination (itself rife for conspiracy theories and speculation, much like TP) in a log to Diane, as well as Marilyn Monroe's involvement with the family; who else is Laura Palmer but a hometown Monroe?
Much like D.B. Cooper, Coop took a historic leap.
I would love to dig down deep and really review all of his work to understand more about Lynch's fixation on Lincoln (a portrait is in the Donna/James classroom when Laura's death is announced; a dramatic shot in Blue Velvet fixates on Lincoln Street which divides the town's good/bad parts & has an antagonist by the name of Booth; the "Gotta light?" Woodsman in The Return).
Now if someone could explain this connection... Dick says this right before the fire alarms go off and swamp Leland with water while BOB rams Leland's head in to break his last vessel and escape from justice.
Why Lincoln? I refer to it as The House Divided. Lincoln is one of the most recognizable presidents, partially due to his assassination (Kennedy echo), partially due to his role in the Civil War and how America resolved its most divisive internal conflict. He's emblematic of the Old America and the New America, slavery and post-slavery, secession and preservation. Somewhat like Republicans & Democrats, red v. blue. We know the toy Lincoln Logs, we hear the term Lincoln Lawyer, he's even one of the faces on Mt. Rushmore (referenced explicitly in The Return - "There they are Albert, faces of stone"- as well as compositionally in "Cooper's Dreams"); given the existence of both a Black Lodge and White Lodge in mythos, I think it's safe to draw at least some broad comparison to black America and white America (as well as Windom Earle's fetish for chess). Even as a goofier entry during Season 2's decaying period, Ben's mental lapse into General Robert E. Lee and fixation on the Civil War (mirroring Johnny Horne's fixation with the indigenous headdress and colonist America) gives some meat to this motif. Although it's never quite outright verbalized in show, one gets the sense that America is inherently built on some original sins. The water in the well was poisoned before the Trinity test
Notable too for the context of having Hawk (Nez Perce) included in this recreation. Mt. Rushmore was originally a sacred place for the Lakota Sioux; its present condition is considered desecration to their culture. America in its current incarnation was founded on the genocide and forced relocation of its indigenous peoples; Twin Peaks is loaded with Native American patterns and imagery, i.e. The Great Northern.
Note as well that red, by itself, can easily be tied to Twin Peaks's lifeforce, and by extension Lynch's entire repertoire. Fire. Red velvet curtains. Lipstick and nail polish. Blood. Pete's fisherman flannel. Audrey's heels, and her cherry trick. Norma's cherry pie. Log Lady's frames. "Let's rock" on Agent Desmond's car in FWWM. The women at One-Eye Jack's. The blooming roses peaking through white picket fences in Blue Velvet. The vast majority of neon signage (The Roadhouse especially). The traffic light at Sparkwood & 21. Leo's ostentatious Corvette. The lifeline zigzags on the high school walls. MIKE, in Philip Gerard, is fond of red tops, connecting him directly with The Arm. Much is made of Twin Peaks's proximity to Canada in the original series; the corrupt Mountie during the internal investigation arc stands out. The balloons at Dougie's corporate plaza. The Scarlet Letter. Lancelot Court, red door. Laura Palmer's Secret Diary.
Night time, my time. Red can be a carnal color, igniting passion, but also a warning to stop, turn back. Often we find it in the company of characters who have experienced a lot in Lynch's world, and not too much good.
And blue too. Blue is much more sparing in Twin Peaks, to greater mystical effect. Blue Rose. Laura's cold lips in the Pilot. Blue Velvet. Isabella Rossellini's dramatic eyeshadow as Dorothy Vallens. The waitress outfits at the Double R Diner. Leo's button-down when Shelly shoots him. The light in the morgue as Hawk tails Philip Gerard. The lifeline zigzags on hospital monitors (how they spike with Ronette, how they fall flat when Leland strangles Jacques). Ronette is swaddled in soft blue blankets during the S2 opener, her tilted head recalls Marian imagery (interesting from a Madonna-Whore complex standpoint); two episodes later her IV drip is tainted with blue dye, a visit from BOB. Maddie Ferguson's nightgown during her carpet-stain vision. Coop's iconic jammies. Rita's blue key & Betty's blue box in Mulholland Drive. The woman's hair at Club Silencio. Whenever television sets or camera footage shows up onscreen in Twin Peaks, there's a noticeable cool blue tint: think of that first tape, Laura & Donna dancing in the woods; the static showcased in the opening credits to FWWM; the footage of Coop gambling, obsessed over by Jean Renault. Gordon & Albert speaking together after meeting with Mr. C and watching Tammy walk away. Flashes of lightning. The sign at the Luna Lounge, where Fred Madison plays his discordant sax solo in Lost Highway.
Two dead girls wash up in the water. Calhoun Memorial's morgue stays bathed in blue light. Louise Bourgeois claimed it as hallmark, stating blue left behind \"the drabness of day-to-day reality\" for \"a world of freedom\", inner truths. BOB is certainly free.
Beyond red and blue, the colors I tend to notice in Twin Peaks are pink and green (notable for following a warm/cool polarization as well), which do not concern themselves to the same extent with Americana, if at all. Pink is much more sparse in its application, typically feminine: Nadine's prom dress during her suicide attempt in the S1 finale; Naido/Diane's bathrobe in The Return; the drapes behind the new One-Eyed Jack's girl Ben sleeps with in "Zen" (purposefully designed to evoke a vagina, in my opinion); fudging into purple, but we can count the Mauve Zone and Coop's run-in with Naido to an extent; Gersten Hayward's princess outfit during her piano performance for the Palmers; the trio of Candie, Mandie & Sandie; the gut-churning Pink Room sequence from FWWM with Laura & Donna.
Candie was a surprising standout for The Return. I felt these girls were a commentary on One-Eyed Jack's in the way the Mitchum Bros. were commentary on Ben & Jerry; where Ben & Jerry enjoyed public acceptance but indulged in dark secrets and ran through vulnerable sex workers, Bradley & Rodney have a dark reputation/entrance but ultimately possess hearts of gold, rescuing at-risk women like these three.
Green is more expansively utilized, and supernatural in tone: the billowing leaves of those Douglas firs in an ominous breeze; the iconic Twin Peaks font's outline; the guiding light we see through Dougie's eyes (which I assume has always been a part of Coop's psyche and intuition); Dougie's iconic oversized jacket; the infamous Owl Cave ring; the vintage lampshade adorning Ben's desk; the childhood bike Ben fondly recalls in The Return; the framed picture of the tall pine in the Sheriff's Department lobby; the tiny fir stuffed by the partition in the Palmer household; Jade & Emerald, even. Ben says to Leo, conspiring to burn the mill in "The One-Armed Man" - "Three nights, Leo. Green light." Something about it reminds me of Jay Gatsby's over-analyzed yearning green light from the F. Scott Fitzgerald classic; the idea of the American Dream with wanton capitalism, and how it's impossible to achieve (am I crazy for thinking there's a connection between Big Ed's Gas Farm's neon egg sign and the West Egg/East Egg class divide?).
Of course, the owls are watching. Much like the eyes of Dr. T.J. Eckleburg.
Ed's business harkens to how convenience stores (early-to-mid-century modernist American consumerism) were both the pumping blood and desiccated bone of our culture, as well as the Woodsmen womb. It also reminds me of old-style egg timers, and what is Twin Peaks but a show obsessed with the manipulation and perception of time? Was it the chicken or the egg that came first? Is it future or is it past?
By the time of The Return, we have lost these overly saturated tones, but the direct symbolic use of color is still integral to a Peaks viewing. I find it even more interesting that The Return made extensive use of black & white footage. Eraserhead and The Elephant Man alike (I've found both hold the spores for concepts and aesthetics fully developed in Lynch's later filmography, like the chevron Lodge floor pattern we all dearly love) were filmed in this manner; I feel Lynch chose this as nod to this earlier work, as well as the old formats of pre-color TV and film, like WWII newsreels. I find it relevant as well that older generations dream in black & white, a vanishing phenomenon which is directly related to the media of their era. B&W film informed the visual rhetoric of their unconscious minds; we, as younger Americans, dream in Technicolor.
This is the first shot we see of The Elephant Man. Notice how this is specifically his left arm, hand floating over the flame. Later in the film during a particularly moving sequence, Merrick first proves he is capable of speech for the first time by reciting the 23rd Psalm in a louder and louder tone, mirroring Annie Blackburn's prayers while Windom Earle led her bound into the Lodge.
The black & white sequences occur within the Lodge, relate directly to the Lodge - may Part 8 live forever in its atomic power - or otherwise involve unexplained phenomena (Cole's Monica Bellucci dream). By the time of The Return, a disconnect with the past and nostalgia is a core theme. The colors have faded. Coop, a half-baked shadow of himself, only gets restored by the chance mention of Gordon Cole's name in Sunset Blvd. Note Billy Wilder's 1950 film revolves around an aging actress lost in the reverie of her long-gone prime. (Also note her insistence, when William Holden's character asks her about the Salome film script, she's not conducting a "comeback" but a *return*; this, I feel, ties in as well to Major Briggs's underappreciated vision scene, emphasizing the idea of a return.) Although not shot in black & white, Pete, assisting Catherine as she tears apart their library, pauses for a moment during "The Last Evening" to linger on his high school yearbook. He's lost in the old pre-color photos, in the memory of Midge Jones, a man we never know. He's returned to a place in his youth, much like Garland's return to the gleaming, radiant marble of the fantastic palazzo in his S2 vision.
These two live in a retro-futurist Art Deco fever dream, accompanied the very appropriate Slow 30s Room soundtrack piece. Everything about the Fireman & Senorita Dido tells me of an America past its prime. I'm also convinced this was what Lynch envisioned for Briggs's palazzo; if only Don S. Davis was alive for The Return.
There's a plethora more I could get into, definitely for another thread: the preoccupation with trinities, animals, rings, technology, fine art references, and sonic elements are on my mind as well. I need to rewatch The Return again soon so more connections and thoughts are present. Let me know if you guys enjoyed this rambling mess!

Trials of Adam ch1, 2

Welcome to my novel, inspired by Barry Pepper's role in Crawl (2019)

Chapter 1: Envy, Wrath
Nobody ever imagines themselves as a victim. I certainly didn't. I admit I was kind of a cocky little shit so maybe I deserved to be here: half-naked in a swamp with a bullet in my chest. I think there was also a bullet in my head, either that or I cracked my skull on something while in the process of crawling out of my makeshift grave. "I am Army Master Sergeant Adam Severgine," I said out loud to no one. I needed to remain conscious, I needed to survive.
This was no different from a deployment. Except instead of fighting for my country, for the chance to prove myself, I was fighting to dig myself out of a shithole of my own creation. "I am Adam Severgine, husband, father...addict." Tears filled my eyes. My wife and daughter were miles away in Biloxi, Mississippi.
I had no fear of death and dying but eventually, they would find out how badly I fucked up. I lost thousands of dollars in gambling, booze, heroin, meth. I should have just gotten out when I had the chance.
Instead, I turned tricks, ran drugs; I became a bitch to avoid becoming a bitch. The idea made me laugh. "Ow..." Fuck, I'm going to die.
"No, you're not." The male voice sounded calm, serene. "Do you even know where you are?"
‘I know I'm imagining you, whatever the fuck you are.’
"Because the mighty Master Sergeant Adam could never be communicating with an angel," the voice said with a laugh. The grass in front of me started to blow in the wind.
\swish* *crunch* *swish* *crunch**
The blades of grass seemed to grow taller, their shadows forming the shape of a man with long wavy hair.
"Is that what you are?" I asked with a chuckle. A sharp pain struck my side; I definitely had broken ribs.
As the angel came closer, he seemed to materialize into a mortal form; olive skin, green eyes, and hair that seemed to be streaked with red, blue, purple and gold. "What do you think I am?"
"You kind of look like the Lord, Jesus Christ," I said, my voice starting to slur into a southern accent as I felt my mind drifting away.
The angel laughed as he ran his fingers through his rainbow hair. "I'll take that as a compliment." He then reached over his shoulder and pulled on a golden cloak out of thin air. "Are you ready to go?"
"Go where?"
The angel shrugged. "Does it matter?"
"I guess not." Any place had to be better than dying alone in the swamp.
The angel reached out his hand. "You can call me Leo."
I took his hand, as I did, a series of letters flashed before my eyes; 'E-N-V-Y.' The letters were in thick black font as if someone was throwing them at my face. But why 'envy'?
I jolt awake, in full uniform, outside of a commander's office. I had been here before but where was I?
"Come in," said a female voice.
I knew who it was; Lt General Allyssa Blake. I was back at my station in Alaska. Still afraid of how the hell I managed to travel back in time I took a breath and entered the office giving the appropriate salute.
The much younger woman had blonde hair, light blue eyes, and lips that made me dream of what she looked like out of uniform. "At ease," she said with her soft breathy voice. She returned the salute and motioned for me to take a seat.
Allyssa never sounded like an officer. She gave off ASMR, that tingly feeling down your spine. She was pageant-queen beautiful, brilliant, but more than anything she was kind. Her wonderful heart was the only thing keeping me from bending her over the desk and fucking her brains out.
Sat down, focusing my eyes on the floor. I at least knew what this meeting was about. "Thank you for meeting with me Ma'am."
"Of course, Sergeant. Do you still want the transfer?"
Was this a memory or a test? "The transfer to Mississippi?"
"Yes, unless there was another position you were interested in pursuing."
"Sorry, I'm just a little one edge as of late. I apologize for the nature of my request I-" My daughter was sick, my wife was cheating on me because she was 'lonely.' I needed to be home, to reclaim my family.
"Hey," she stood up and took my hand. "I love you, Adam. You're a good guy. You're going to go home and you're going to fix this. I already have a replacement lined up."
"You do?" This part was new. I never stuck around to learn who she put in my position.
"Lawrence will take over."
"Lawrence Heath?" Lawrence Heath was an Air Force liaison officer. He had more training and education then I did so from a technical standpoint he was a good choice. But he was also Alyssa's ex who transferred to Japan after she miscarried their son.
"He wants to marry me," her voice was so angelic, calm.
Time stood still. I can feel a sharp pain in my chest. "Leo? Please tell me this is a dream."
Leo placed his hand upon my shoulder. "What do you remember about Lawrence?"
"H-He never actually hurt her."
"Alyssa miscarried in the middle of the office. You drove her to the hospital. You held her hand while she cried. Where was he?"
"He was at work. He came to her as soon as he could. I loved her like a sister, and I know it broke her when he left. But she loved him." I reached my hand to touch Alyssa's frozen cheek. "I hope they found happiness."
"Impressive," Leo said, starting a slow clap. I turned to see my guardian angel sitting on an office chair, his rainbow hair flowing about his face. "I wonder how someone so noble ended up in a place like this."
"What?" With a jolt, I was back in the swamp. My chest felt like it was being crushed and my head was throbbing. In my hands, I felt an unbearable burning sensation. But I knew perfectly well why that was. Shooting up heroin between your broken fingers tends to fuck shit up. I forced myself to scoot backward until I felt myself leaning against a massive tree. The rough bark cut into the skin of my back and neck, but I was still grateful for the opportunity to rest.
Lighting cracked the sky, forming a distinct series of patterns, 'W-R-A-T-H'- Wrath? I couldn't help but smirk. I mean, I had plenty to be angry about. So, I was actually curious as to where the angel was going to take me next. "I'm ready."
I closed my eyes and took a deep, calming, breath.
I could hear the sound of a plane landing. My skin was no longer in pain, but my heart as beating a mile a minute as I stood in the cool airconditioned TSA waiting room. I knew where this was. When I opened my eyes, I was meeting my daughter. My wife and I had tried for years to conceive but it was never meant to be. At the age of thirty, we started the process to adopt from China. After years of waiting, we stood hand in hand at the immigration office of Jackson, Mississippi. China had been our last hope. For whatever reason, we were unable to even get on a waiting list for a European or North American baby. That was another reason I was nervous. The little girl was already six months old. What if she took one look at me and decided, 'Nope, I'm not going to be able to love these military-redneck white folks?' I was scared. Fate had a reason for never blessing us with a biological child.
As the adoption rep put the baby in my arms, I felt only the light of God's love. "Hello, Cece."
My wife scoffed, "I thought we agreed on a name- Annabelle-Rylie?"
"Felicity June Severgine," that's her name, my daughter's name.
The next few moments flew by in a blur, but a painful number of them were of me abandoning my family. As the years passed, I saw myself in uniform leaving for deployment; moments when I truly believed that I might not come back alive. Other times I was just in sweatpants and a t-shirt as I kissed my family goodbye. Before my eyes, Cece transformed from a toddler to a teen. I suddenly felt a wave of nausea. The last time I saw Cece she was no longer the beautiful girl I remembered.
I closed my eyes and fell to my knees. "Oh, God..." I knew what I was going to see; my angel my reason for living, in a medically induced coma.
"She never told you what really happened," said Leo's disembodied voice.
I stood up to see the angel standing over Cece's bed. "My wife told me it was pneumonia." I'd never made it to my daughter's side to see for myself.
"Marni told you that, knowing it would take you at least a month to get home. The wounds healed by then. And what didn't heal could be explained away. Ironically, after a seizure, she did develop a sepsis infection in her lung that mimicked pneumonia." Leo made his way to Cece's side and held her hand. "But you didn't see what she looked like the day of the phone call." Leo kissed Cece's forehead. "I'm so sorry little one, this will only last a moment."
I had a feeling I was not supposed to hear that last part.
Cece had a breathing tube but as time regressed it vanished, replaced with the monstrous number of wounds. She cried, then screamed. Her face covered in bruises, cuts, and clearly broken bones. Her clothing transformed into a short blue dress; one I had never seen before.
Time stood still as my government issue phone rang. I hit my thigh only to feel no pockets. The phone was in the palm of my hand. "Hello?"
"Hi, Daddy."
I remember this conversation. She said she came home from a dance. Homecoming, Prom?
"I went to a party," Cece's said, her voice cracking with sadness. "It was great."
Silence.
Leo poked my arm. "Hey, it's your line."
With trembling hands, I moved the phone to my mouth to speak. "That's great, baby."
"Should go," she said as her breathing became labored. It was clear she was trying not to cry. "I-I love you, Daddy."
Marni came in the room just as Cece hung up. "Hi, sweetie, do you feel up to talking to the police officers? They need to get your statement and do a rape kit."
"Yes, Mom," Cece glanced at the phone, giving it a squeeze. "I'll be ok. I just wish Dad was here."
I got to see the rest of the scene. According to her statement, she had been raped, beaten and left for dead. That was how she escaped. When her date (and his three friends) thought she was dead, they locked her in the trunk.
She remembered what her father had told her about how to escape a trunk and managed to not only kick out the tail light but also get the trunk open while the piece-of-shit car was going forty down a backroad. Battered and bloody she ran for her life until she found her way to the main street.
Leo placed his hand upon my shoulder. "What would you have done if you knew the truth?
"I would have fucking killed the bastards."
"Really?" Leo waved his hand, to focus back on the scene.
Marni took a seat, holding Cece's hand. "What did you tell your Dad?"
"Nothing. I didn't want him to be disappointed in me," she said, burying her face in her pillow.
"I could ever be disappointed with you," I said out loud. I knew she couldn't hear me, that hurt more than anything. But not more than the feeling of my leg getting blown off.
A sharp pain shot through my leg. Suddenly I was back in terrorist occupied Iraq, riding in a supply convoy. A larger truck ran us off the road, into an IED. At least that's what I was told.
The vehicle I was in exploded, and I was pinned under the rubble. Somehow my leg was extracted from the mess and sent along with the rest of my broken body to Landstuhl, Germany where I spent the next few weeks waking up.
At the time, my home station was in Colorado Springs, Colorado. That was where my wife was living with a then eleven-year-old Cece. I remember I’d asked that I be transferred back to my family; if I was going to die, I wanted to die at home. My superiors, the US military; they owed me that much.
My next memory was of Cece staying by my side. I'd suffered burns over twenty-five percent of my body, there were bone shards in my hips and my leg had been put back together with pins and rods. It was a unique sensation, to be a living mass of pain. The local medical team determined that I would never walk again. So, the goal was to make me comfortable.
I was allowed at-home hospice care. This meant that I was placed under the attention of a nurse for administering therapy, and medications, but during the majority of the week my wife was tasked with wound care. At least she was supposed to be. My wife never touched me. To do so would have meant to show some level of compassion.
I remember Cece asked the nurse to teach her how to change the dressing on my leg. I have to assume the nurse thought she was curious and adorably sweet. Because otherwise, it was not the safest practice.
I closed my eyes. When I awoke, I was back in that wonderful moment. "Cece?"
"Hi, Daddy," my little daughter said in a calm whisper as she donned oversized medical gloves.
“Hi, Sweetheart,” I replied in a horse whisper.
“If I hurt you, I’m really sorry.” She changed out the gauze, using a bottle of peroxide to wash the open wounds.
I flinched but tried my best to stay quiet.
"Mom said that I needed to say goodbye," Cece explained as she worked with a gentle touch. "She told me the only reason you came home is because you're too sick to go back. I don't believe her." She finished in silence before getting a clean blanket from the closet. "You're going to walk again." She cuddled by my side, resting her head on my shoulder. "Superheroes don't die."
My heart filled with a sense of faith that I didn't know was possible.
She spent her summer by my side; changing my bandages, helping with physical therapy. I was also working with a therapy nurse who was impressed by my level of strength.
For Cece's twelfth birthday she had a party at the on-base movie theatre. I paid the bills but Marni took on the responsibility of making the day special for our daughter. Cece invited her entire class, she looked so genuinely happy.
I arrived in my wheelchair. As the movie played, it was 'Step Up', some kind of dance movie from the golden age of hip-hop music. The movie was played on the projector as background noise, as the kids ate pizza and talked.
I waited in the back until she noticed me.
"Dad!" She broke off a conversation with several friends to run over to me. "Oh my god! Did you just get here? How was your therapy appointment?"
From my wheelchair, I reached to the cane at my side and I stood up.
Cece cupped her hands over her mouth as tears welled in her eyes.
I took my first (pain-stricken) steps since the accident that should have taken my life. I stood tall, strong, as Cece threw her arms around me.
"I love you, Daddy. You're my hero." she paused to wipe tears from her eyes. "But does this mean you're leaving again?"
I was. I could have taken medical retirement, stayed with my family. But I needed the money. I needed to pay off a mortgage, send my daughter to a good college: I wanted to make my family proud.
So, I took a position in Alaska as a squadron lead. That’s when the addictions started. painkillers lead to heroin. loneliness lead to gambling and prostitution. all because I left behind the one person who truly cared.
The world went dark. I was sitting alone in an empty theatre as Leo appeared on the screen. "Hi, Adam. Wow, this is certainly an interesting view."
"Yeah," I replied in a weak voice.
"Well, I have to ask, what would you have done if you knew the truth about your daughter's assault?"
All I could do was laugh. The situation was clear now: I was dead and this was Hell. "You really want to know?"
Leo shook his head. "Look, I'm not a sadist, I just have a job to do. I was human once, just like you. And no, you're not in hell."
“Forgive me if I don’t believe you.”
The man laughed as he turned towards the theatre and with one swift motion, seemed to jump from the screen. He walked towards me, with the fabric of the curtain attached to his back like wings. "So, what would you have done? Her attackers were never prosecuted. If you had a moment with those boys in a soundproof room with just your revolver, what would you do?"
I thought for a moment. I had no one to blame but myself. "I would eat my gun." Was Cece dead? I needed to know. If she was gone, I truly wanted to die.
Leo approached me, placing a hand upon my shoulder. "Much better, on to the next test."
I gripped his arm. "Why should I trust you?"
Leo rolled his eyes. "Maybe because I'm the one with the magic powers."
"You're my driver," I said in a tone that came off ruder than intended. "But what would happen if I said I'd rather walk to my final destination."
Leo chuckled and shrugged. "Hell, if I know. Maybe someone will find your body. Maybe you'll reunite with Cece in heaven. Or maybe she'll survive and grow up believing that her hero abandoned her. What do you want from me?"
"You said you were human once- I want to know something about you."
Leo cupped his hand to my face, tracing a finger along my jawline. He appeared to be studying my features, which gave me an opportunity to study his. "What do you see when you look at me?"
"You have green eyes," I said in a whisper. His eyes were hypnotic, his breath; warm, comforting, human.
"I know what it feels like to love someone until it hurts." Leo leaned in and kissed my lips, breathing a long constant stream of air that seemed to crackle with electricity.
Chapter 2: Lust, Greed
'All you need is love? Love? Love is all you need?' The voices hummed in my ear. They weren't singing, they were asking. I know where I am and I don't want to open my eyes.
"How does that feel?" asked a voice that was not Leo. It was Dr. Ethan Rogers, my physical therapist. He was a younger man; late twenties, early thirties, with blond hair and blue eyes- the most all-American soldier you could ever hope to meet. And he was massaging my naked thigh with a vibrator.
I know I'm hard, and I know what he's about to do next.
"I'm going to put this inside you," he said in a most professional tone of voice.
I could have attacked him, punched him in the face, or at the very least or at least said no. But it felt so good. I knew my scar tissue was prominent. It was a disgusting crater that ran along the entirety of my leg. I stayed in shape; my body was lean, muscular but that seemed all for show. I needed to look the part of a soldier, maybe if I was lucky, I would be able to pass my physical. My legs were for running, training. My cock was for pissing. My ass was for shitting. It had been months since I allowed myself to feel sexual pleasure.
"Just relax, let yourself go."
Damn it feels incredible. My eyes open on their own, staring straight into the blinding room light. The bulb is blinking forcing me to blink. Letters form in the shape of the light. 'L-U-S-T.' Yeah, I guess so. But it wasn't a lust for sex.
I feel him inject my leg; my broken, mangled leg. My leg that existed for the sole purpose of causing me unbearable pain, akin to the fires of hell. In a matter of moments, all of that was but a memory. He told me he was giving me morphine but I knew it had to be something stronger. That shit fucked with my head. Like a cool wave of tranquility; life death and every emotion in-between.
"I can get you a prescription for morphine, maybe even fentanyl.” His voice is calm, cool, like an ice tea on a hot day. “All you have to do is submit to me."
All I could do was laugh. "Sure, sounds great." My speech was slurred. This man was the devil and I willingly jumped headfirst down the rabbit hole into Hell.
I was physically fit. Dr. Ethan Rogers knew he could rent me out to anyone who had a fetish for dominating. Over the next year and a half, I lived as a sex-slave. I was bound, gagged. I sucked cock and even let men fuck me in my on-base housing. I was a human party favor, but I was always well compensated.
I took their pills, so many pills, all the colors of the rainbow. Most of the time, I never knew what any of it was, only that it was my prize. And when given vials of heroin, meth and God knows what else, I shot up in my arms, legs, but mainly my hands just because no one at my actual job seemed to notice my hands.
It was a perfect system. By day I was a soldier; a flawless, reliable worker who could be counted on for any job. I was a great husband and father who was working tirelessly to make sure his family would be taken care of. I worked myself to the bone, playing through the pain. But at night I was free.
Until the day my heart stopped.
I awoke in Alysa Blake's room, on her sofa. "Wow, you fucked up." The general looked like her actual youthful age. Her long blonde hair was pulled into a messy bun.
"Aly?" I tried to speak but immediately had to vomit.
General Blake had a bucket waiting by the side of my head. "You're going to stay here for a while." She placed a cold washcloth to my neck focusing on my artery. "This is going to help with the pain in your chest."
I shook my head. "But, what about my leg?"
"You're not the only one living with chronic pain." Alyssa took my hand a placed it on her hip, just below her abs. There was a massive scar. I knew the story; she had been shot in the hip; the bone and surrounding tissue had to be rebuilt. This was likely the reason for her later miscarriage. "I'm not giving you anything for your leg. You're probably going to have another seizure from all the drugs you already took."
I tried to move, to sit up- anything. But the pain seemed to course through my body. I wanted to cry or scream, but no sound was coming from my parched throat.
I gripped my head as a massive migraine pounded my vision. In the midst of my agony, I didn't even notice Alyssa leave and return with a blanket until the moment she cuddled by my side. "I'm going to stay with you."
I nodded, with a noticeable lump in my throat.
"Talk to me about Cece." Alyssa put her arms around me as she rested her head on my chest. “What is she like?”
I knew what this was. This moment, it was the opposite of lust. Nothing was worth more than my family, my daughter "She's a dancer."
"A dancer?"
"I think my wife has her in gymnastics and cheerleading but she..." I swallowed hard thinking about the last time we talked. Cece asked if she could send me a link to a video of her ballet recital. She loved ballet, she wanted to be a choreographer. She sent the link but my Alaska internet was too weak to see it without an extensive amount of buffering. And the camera had been placed so far back I could barely make out her face. I told her as much, but that I would love to see her dance someday.
"Have you seen any of her performances?"
I nodded. "C-Can I have some water?"
"Sure." Alyssa turned away, attempting to sit up.
Try as a might, my arms wouldn't let her go. "I feel sick. But, more than anything, don't want to cry in front of my commanding officer."
Alyssa glared at me with a look of seriousness. "I found you in your room bleeding from your ass. I performed CPR until you were lucid enough to walk with your arm around my shoulder." She only lived a few houses down and often visited.
I couldn't remember making the walk to her house but it wouldn't be the first time. I had the habit of dialing her number when I was too high to think straight. "My apologies Ma'am."
She reached for my hand, stroking between my fingers. "If I was here as your commanding officer you would be in a hospital awaiting a medical discharge." Her fingers paused on an open sore where I injected regularly. "I'm here as your friend, because what you need right now is a friend."
I knew she wasn't wrong. "Thank you."
"So, tell me about the time you saw your little girl dance."
My hands were trembling as my eyes filled with tears. "She sent me a USB."
"She sent you a file on a flash drive? Wow, that's really sweet."
"Cece had somehow used her phone to record a solo piece in her backyard. I didn't recognize the song, something Gaelic sounding about finding your wings to touch the sky." With the warm memory in my heart, my body relaxed.
"That sounds like the theme from the movie Brave," Alyssa said as she sat up. "Wow, that brings back memories. Anyway, I'm going to get you some water now."
Brave? Of course, it was.
Alyssa returned with a bottled water and a straw. "Take small sips." Once it appeared like I was not going to vomit again she took her place back on my chest, holding me close. "You need to go home."
"I know." I stroked her hair as I looked up at her stucco ceiling.
"You need to research a position at a base closer to your family,” she said as she kissed my cheek. “And I will sign off on it."
"Thank you." Now I just wish she talked me out of driving down to the states. Maybe I wouldn't have fucked up as badly as I did.
A lonely drive, six hours on the road, maybe eight. Behind the wheel of a rented SUV carrying all my worldly possessions, I thought I could keep focus, I thought I-
And here comes the crash.
I opened my eyes, but all I see is darkness. "Leo, are you there?"
I could feel someone grab my hand, pulling me from the vehicle. It wasn't Leo, but rather a younger male, possibly a teen.
"Wow, Leo was right, you are fucked up." The kid pulled me out of the vehicle, seemingly indifferent to my level of pain. "You should grab your wallet and suitcase. We have a bit of a walk into town.”
I did as he asked. I could recall what happened at this moment in time. While it did not include a Native American surfer-boy, I knew where we were headed.
"How long did you manage to stay clean for?" the smug teen asked.
I turned to him with a look of contempt. He stood maybe 5'9", and although he had an attractive face and youthful demeanor, I would have no problem punching his lights out.
"Really, old man?" The boy laughed.
"Master Sergeant Adam Severgine," I said with a groan.
"I know," he said, happily, skipping down the road. "I'm Jamie. Welcome to Oklahoma."
"How old are you? And where's Leo?"
"Leo will meet us in town. And as for me-" Jamie did a backflip landing in front of my face, close enough to kiss my lips. "I'm legal."
"Are you a guardian angel too?"
"Are you asking if I have powers?"
"I am," I replied through gritted teeth. I could remember how long the original walk took me. By the time I got to town, my leg was killing me.
"That's not why you got high off your ass."
"Oh, fuck you!"
"You got clean just long enough to pass a physical, for the job transfer. And then you started using again like the fucked-up junkie that you are!" Jamie continued doing flips and cartwheels down the empty road.
I focused on my own path looking down at my boots as I walked. My leg was mostly healed, to the point where I could walk unassisted, I could even drive. But I still felt an ache, a chronic pain that would never go away no matter what drugs I took.
Jamie appeared in front of me, lifting my face to look into his eyes. "I'm bored and I miss my boyfriend so I'm going to do you a favor." He punched me in the face with all the force of a fighter jet.
I awoke on the floor of a casino. And I do mean floor: My eyes opened to reveal the sight of paramedics working frantically. They had apparently just finished restarting my heart.
When I looked straight ahead, sitting at a slot machine was Jamie. The little punk was doubled over in laughter.
Leo stepped out of the shadows. He raised a finger giving the 'give me a second' sign. He embraced Jamie, speaking to him in a quiet tone. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but at least Leo was calming him down. When Jamie finally stopped laughing, the couple walked to the elevators.
A tall older man, in a suit, came over to check on the scene. He was the hotel manager and a former Marine. We talked for a while, with me telling him my situation. He kindly offered to give me a room for the night, free of charge. It was the least he could do for a fellow soldier.
Yes, it was only for one night. I could contact the rental agency and they could send a new car to my location. But until then he offered to buy me dinner and give me a tour of the hotel and casino.
Everything was going great. After hanging out with my new friend I took a seat at one of the many the table poker tables.
I was by no means an expert but I preferred tables, to computer-generated games of chance. That was when I met Lola. She looked like a typical cocktail waitress, just a few years away from retirement. She was possibly old enough to be my mother (either that or she had just spent too much time in the sun,) but she was undeniably beautiful. She made sure to flirt, playing with her long blonde hair as she brought me free drinks.
"Drink up," she said, before taking a shot. She cupped my face, forcing the shot of whiskey down my throat. "It's on me, love." Next thing I knew she was on my lap. I was winning hand after hand; she was truly my good luck charm. When I was too drunk to walk, she offered to escort me to my room.
I remember collapsing on to the bed. I could feel her hands, her long nails, then her mouth. When I was ready, she started to ride me. Talking dirty in a way that my wife never did, I gave her full control. she got on her knees and wanted me to fuck her from behind. I did, and what was when a man barged in with a master key. It was the manager.
My memory is blacking in and out but I remember him getting on the bed. He and Lola are laughing. They offer me cocaine.
The next morning, I awoke to the sight of Lola in my bed. Her naked chest was moving, so I had no immediate reason to panic.
Jamie stood in the corner wide-eyed. "Wow, I was raped to death by a demonic cult and even I found that disturbing."
Leo walked through the wall to stand at Jamie's side. "And this isn't even the worst of it."
I tried to sit up but my body hurt. "Why, the fuck, are you even here?" Just my luck, I had a pair of fuck-boy morons for guardian angels.
Leo sighed. He approached the bed, stroking Lola's hand. "You can't change the past." He made a turn to the closet, grabbing my phone from my pocket. "But you can choose your future."
I was lucid enough to move my arm and unlock my screen. I had wi-fi. I clicked on my email. it was open to a message from Cece, starting with a link that I had never seen before. "Greed.mov?"
Leo shrugged. "You should probably take a look."
I clicked. There was Cece in her blue dress, sitting on her bed. "Hi, Dad. I'm a little nervous. I really like Jason, and well, I wish you could have met him. He's so much like you. He wants to join the Marines, travel the world. I mean, I guess I'd write to him. A lot of my friends are planning on getting married, so their boyfriends don't cheat. It's really stupid. Jason says he loves me, he wants to marry me. I'm pretty sure he just wants to fuck me." Cece looked down at her silver ring. It had belonged to my grandmother who passed away before Cece was born. I had given it to my daughter on her sixteenth birthday. It was only then, on that video, did I notice where she wore it. She wore it like a wedding ring: a purity ring.
Cece looked to the side, at her computer, to press a few keys. "I hope this will help my anxiety." The music starts to play, it was a slow, Celtic, song. I watched as she moved her arms, in a graceful ballet pose. She appeared to be free-styling a dance piece, in her room, dancing on her bare feet. It was truly breathtaking. But why was the file titled 'greed.mov'?
"I can't wake up without you, Dad." The voice was not coming from the phone.
I nearly screamed at the sight of Cece's broken, bloody form.
Jamie put his arm around Cece, patting her shoulder. "Don't worry, she's still in a coma."
The creepy, undead version of my daughter leaned her head on Jamie's shoulder. She turned just enough to look at me with her dark, innocent, eyes. "When you rocked me to sleep, you would tell me stories. I think you assumed I couldn't hear you or what I wasn't paying attention."
"You couldn't even talk." For the first two years, I was so nervous about being a father, that I would unload all of my horrific stories on to Cece like a verbal diary. she didn't speak a word until she started preschool at age three and even then, I never heard anything from her teachers about my stories.
"Knowing so much about your past is why I always had such respect for you." Cece took a step forward, reaching out her hand. "I know what you saw, what you experienced. It made you the person you are." When she came closer, her hand hit a glowing wall of energy. She nodded her head knowingly. We weren't in the same space. "Jamie said you're going to make your way back to me."
I knew our time was short so I had only one question to ask. "Why greed?"
"You told me I was your treasure; I was everything you ever wanted."
"I'm so sorry."
"That wasn't meant as an attack. Not at you, not ever." Cece moved closer. She was able to sit on the bed, her hand caressing the fabric. Her moves were careful and deliberate.
I would have given anything to be able to touch her hand. I knew in my heart this wasn't an illusion, this was my daughter.
Cece pursed her lips and continued, "There's an old saying, 'Shoot for the moon, even if you fail, you'll be among the stars.' Well, what happens when you reach the moon but it's not the finish line that you thought it would be. You always want more, I did anyway. that's why I let Jason go as far as he did. I thought I could have it all; I'd go to college and have a hot, long-distance boyfriend. maybe we'd meet up in Europe where I would audition for a ballet company. At least that's what I thought." Cece wiped tears from her eyes. "He was dating me as a practical joke. I was the nerdy-science geek who was also a dancer. The rumor was that I clearly wanted to be fucked, but my stern military daddy was keeping me inline." She paused for a moment, looking into my eyes. "I guess he was half right. I knew Jason's plan was to make me choose between you and him. And what's really messed up is, I would have chosen him. I was greedy." Cece took a few steps back, her form already starting to fade. "I miss you so much, Dad. Please come find me."
Leo cracked his knuckles. "Well, this was fun but we have miles to go before we sleep. So-" He turned to Jamie.
“Yeah, I know.” Jamie nodded, with a sigh, as Cece vanished.
Next, Leo turned to me, with hesitation. "This next part is going to hurt."
"More than seeing my dying daughter?"
Leo clicked his tongue as he moved to Jamie's side. "Adam, how much do you remember about your trip from Oklahoma to Louisiana?"
"Do I remember who shot me and left me for dead int he Louisiana swamplands?" I clearly did not.
"Do you want to know?" Leo asked, twirling a lock of his rainbow hair. "I mean I'm supposed to show you, orders from the big boss," he said, motioning towards heaven. "But I think it would be a little cruel."
Jamie's eyes lit up. "Can we just give him a summery? He'll feel just as shitty but we won't have to watch it!"
Leo pursed his lips, clearly trying to hide laughter. "Jamie..." Leo took a breath to calm down. "None the less you are correct. But to stay in line with the," he made the pointing gesture again, "I'll give him just enough to dwell on during our hike back to civilization."
Jamie leaned against a wall as Leo stepped towards me. He crawled into bed, positioning himself on top of me like a snake. His long hair trickled against my face. "You good, Adam?"
"As good as I can be."
"I'll make this quick." Leo closed his eyes.
I did the same. The images flashed before my eyes like the world’s worst vacation slideshow. Oh, God.
More sex, drugs, a few suicide attempts. Luckily it would only last three weeks. I apparently went on the mother of all drug binges. I didn't want to go home, and I knew why. My daughter was sick, but my wife… my beautiful, kind, wife, Marni-Lynn was a fucking whore who’d torn my heart out a long time ago.

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9 Levels of Hell - Part 15

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Everything in this level, Clint quickly realized, was ruled by money and desire. He couldn’t even quench his thirst at a public drinking fountain without the fountain’s cheery A.I. asking him to insert two coins. Clint jammed his hands in his empty pockets and kept walking, mouth tacky with fear. True, he did not need water to stay alive, but something in his belly sure as hell would make it easier to focus right about now. His thoughts wadded up and stuck together like half-chewed gum.
Malina was gone. That fact chased itself in maddening circles around his mind. When he let himself think about it too hard the panic nearly made him too dizzy to walk straight. But Malina needed him to be calm, so he took deep breaths and thought through his options.
There was the brochure, of course. He could go wash dishes all night long and hope he got anywhere close to it. The guard had said Malina would be trapped for five hundred hours: nearly twenty-one days, if time was even reinstated as a concept in this level. They couldn’t idle around the second circle that long, hoping that no one else would figure out the riddle.
And where was Virgil?
Too many worries, too many questions. Clint walked and walked until he found a directory of the city center, and then he stood gaping in front of it. Every block had dozens of tic marks corresponding to some shop or strange attraction: there were countless retail stores of companies he’d never heard of, arcades, cinemas, bookstores, coffee shops, speed dating centers, gyms, everything he could imagine was sprawled out on the map before him.
At the corner of the map, a message in tiny font reminded him: WHEN YOU UPGRADE TO THE CLOUD PHONE XII, YOU CAN TELEPORT TO AND FROM LOCATIONS FOR FREE! ON SALE FOR ONLY 4000 COINS Even smaller fonts below that listed the caveats and costs for older model phones.
Clint pawed around in the cracked plastic shell that had once held paper maps, but it looked like it had been empty for years. He kicked at the pavement and felt oddly like Malina for a moment. But then his frustration cleared, and he began trying process this meaningfully.
This, too, was just another game. And once he figured out how the system of it worked, he could scrounge up some money, get Malina free, get them the hell out of there.
Clint decided his best option was to just walk in and out of shops until he found someplace that would let him work for something, anything. But the first store he walked into, the shopkeeper looked at him with horror written all over his face. “Oh, no, honey,” he told Clint. “I’m sorry, but you’ll scare people away.”
He tried not to feel weirdly hurt at that. Clint wandered back out onto the street. He tore off his bulletproof vest and left it on the road. He wore only his jeans and the black sweater, dark enough that no one could see the dry blood saturating it. But when he caught his reflection in the store window, he saw why the shopkeeper had reacted that way. Why Malina had been trying to wash herself up in a public fountain of all places. He was gore-spattered, his face streaked with dirt and thick rivers of sweat.
A familiar voice piped up from beside him, “Jeez, you do look like shit.”
That made Clint whirl around. He saw Virgil smirk up at him. The boy had different clothes, somehow. His jacket was bright purple leather, his jeans black and tight to his legs. His boots were spiked on the toes, and it seemed as if he had tried to style his hair in a pompadour.
“What do you think?” the spirit asked, turning so Clint could survey him. “Do I fit in?”
“Yeah. You look great.” Clint grimaced at his reflection again. “How did you even get all that stuff?”
“I went shopping! I love visiting this level. They always have the coolest stuff.”
Clint tried to keep the greed out of his eyes. “You have money?”
“Nah. I made some. Like this.” Virgil grabbed a green-colored shake out of midair and began sucking on the straw.
“Can you just… do whatever you want?”
“Sort of, and also not really.” Virgil wavered a hand. “I have certain administrative privileges. We’ll put it that way. Where’s your buddy?”
Clint shook his head in disbelief. “She got arrested because she climbed in a water fountain.”
Virgil giggled and chewed on his straw. “I know. I just wanted to hear you say it out loud.”
“It would be helpful if you warned us of this kind of stuff, you know.”
“It’s better if I don’t. More exciting for both of us.” The boy’s grin was just as fierce, but he didn’t seem particularly keen to disobey the laws of physics in front of so many witnesses. He kept leaping up off the ground an inch or two and then thinking better of himself and floating back down, restlessly.
“Does that mean you could make some coins appear for me too? Please?”
“Hah. No.” The boy tossed his half-finished drink into a nearby trashcan. “I told you. I can’t help you cheat.”
“But if I asked for a hint…”
“I could be obliged to find you an answer.”
Clint looked around at all the passersby, who skirted by like he was a bump on the wall. Not even really a person. Every once in a while, one of them would tap something on their phone and evaporate into the very air. He supposed that was the teleporation the strange ad had bragged about.
He said, “If I can’t get any money, how am I supposed to clean myself up enough to get a job to get money?”
“The cycle of poverty,” Virgil agreed, solemnly. “I guess you’ll have to do what most people who don’t have money do when they still want shit.”
Clint stared at him in confusion until Virgil lifted his eyebrows, meaningfully. Then it clicked for him.
“Oh.” Clint paused, processing that. Half-cursing himself for not thinking of it first. “You mean steal.” He supposed in a made-up world, ethics did not matter. There were no felony convictions in hell, after all.
“I was beginning to worry you were the dumb one after all.” The boy crammed his hands in his jacket pockets and surveyed the street with a lazy smile. “All you need to win this game is the ability to figure shit out. Get yourself unstuck.” He patted Clint’s elbow like Clint was the child here. “I have faith you can do it. Now, I’m going to go play some arcade games until my eyes melt out of my head.”
“I thought you were going to help me,” Clint called after him, frustration sharpening his voice.
Virgil turned around to laugh at Clint as he walked backwards. “I just did!”
“Right,” Clint muttered. He turned and stomped off in the opposite direction. Then paused, remembered what the officer had said. He whirled around, and the boy was gone. Clint jogged to the end of the block: no sign of Virgil anywhere. “What the fuck is a View-Room?” he asked the empty air.
Clint knew this much about this world: there was a store or kiosk for every use Clint could imagine. The city was so huge that he walked in circles for hours without even realizing it. Here, night did come, but it was an abbreviated thing and eternally discolored by the glow of billboards and advertisements. Casinos, shops, theme parks, galleries, resorts that would simulate the experience of being a farmer or sorcerer or king. There seemed to be no limit to the size and scope of the city.
He walked through the night and most of a second day, lost in a sea of niche-game nooks. Then Clint paused to stare at his map. His belly dropped sickeningly.
He’d filled barely a wedge of the map. It seemed that the second level was a dense labyrinth, so deep that if he tried to map the whole thing he would be lost inside of it forever.
Clint sat on the edge of a water fountain. It was not the same fountain that Malina had been arrested in, but it reminded him enough of her. He wondered what Malina was doing. Where that van had sped her off to. His belly ached with worry.
He turned around and cupped water from the fountain to clean off his face. He dried himself off with the bottom of his shirt. It made his skin feel a little less caked, made him feel just a little cleaner. More human.
A man passed by. He wore workout clothes covered in gold-threaded baroque patterns. Clint stood up and waved a hand in front of his face to get his attention. The man barely glanced up from his phone, where he was playing some pattern matching game. Clint asked him, “Could you tell me where to find the View-Room?”
The man did not even look up when he scoffed at Clint. “Man, fuckin’ google that shit,” he said, and he kept on walking.
Clint reached out and snatched the man’s phone out of his hand, just to get him to break eye contact with the fucking thing. Then he stared at it in his hand for a moment. Realized how much money it could be worth. Virgil’s arrogant smirk sprang to his mind.
As the man roared at him, “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Clint turned the phone off and took off running.
The other man either didn’t care enough to run after him or he was so slow despite the gaudy sweatpants that Clint quickly shook him. He sprinted down this side street and that, diving behind dumpsters and pallets when he heard the occasional scream of a police siren.
But no one came to find him. When he paused to clutch his knees and wheeze for breath, he looked around to find himself in an older part of town. The stalls here were slumping, their signs faded or unmarked altogether. Shop owners watched him through grimy windows, their eyes dark with mistrust.
Clint stopped in the middle of the road to turn the phone back on. It immediately began blaring at him, “Anti-theft mode initiated. Transmitting GPS…”
“Fucking fuck fuck,” Clint muttered, turning the phone off quickly again.
From over his shoulder, someone said, “I could help you disable that, you know.” Clint turned to see a man standing there with a dense blond beard, his face twisted in a razor-tooth smile. “For a fee.”
“I don’t have any money,” Clint told him.
“Step into my office.” He pulled back the raggedy curtain to his stall. His was not even a building, just a cubby in a wall, shrouded in shadows. “We’ll make a deal.”
Despite the cries of anxiety at the back of his mind, Clint followed the man inside.
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2018 Album of the Year #24: Arctic Monkeys - Tranquility Base Hotel + Casino

Artist: Arctic Monkeys Album: Tranquility Base Hotel + Casino Released: May 11th, 2018 Listen: Spotify | Apple Music | YouTube

THE LUNAR SURFACE (Where It All Started)

The year is 2016, Alex Turner has returned home from 30th birthday celebrations to discover a brand-new Steinway Vetregrand piano. It was a gift from his manager, and it opened a whole new world for him. “Looking back now it seems really... significant. It changed everything really.” He states about it within an interview from Mojo Magazine. He was correct. The piano sparked everything to life becoming the “centre of the universe” for the album. Guitars were just not giving him ideas anymore, but the piano was. Stored in a spare bedroom within his LA home, this became “The Lunar Surface” his almost makeshift recording studio. The name coming from the theory that Stanley Kubrick faked the moon landing. Alex even stating to Radio X that, “It was amusing to say, “I’m going down to the Lunar Surface.”” The makeshift studio also helped shape the album title, it was “instrumental” to the process. But the piano wasn’t the only thing within the makeshift studio. There was a drum kit, a Vox Continental organ, and a Tascam 388 eight-track recorder. The eight-track recorder would serve as a substantial part in making the album. “I sat with all my instruments and recorded the songs into the machine. That way, I could hear everything at once, whereas in the past it was all in my imagination until I could play the songs with the band.” He also considered it “a writing tool” as much as a recording tool. Working in isolation, he recorded tapes that would later remain on the record in forms of elements such as vocals and various instrumental parts. The eight-track even served as part of the album cover with the “lobby model” of the Hotel + Casino sitting overtop of it, with an earlier version of the record as the tape on it. The model itself was constructed by Turner. The model itself was birthed from the album title and the fact that this is the 6th Arctic Monkeys album. Thus, explaining the hexagon imagery, 1 side per album. The model first started as cardboard, left over scraps from this model can be seen in a photo from inside the Lunar Surface shot by Zackery Michael. Then it was built more and more until we arrived at the model showcased on the album’s cover. The model has a rotating sign bit that was inspired by the House of Pies rotating sign.

VOX, LA FRETTE, & BRINGING IT TOGETHER (Enter the Others)

Upon assembling some of the track, Alex took them to fellow bandmate, guitarist Jamie Cook. Jamie is considered the “gatekeeper” to band, almost like the human bullshit meter. Alex almost feared that he would underwhelmed with it. But Jamie was the one told Alex, “This is definitely what we should be doing.” This led to the pair adding guitar parts to the songs. The majority of these, like the demo tape vocals, stuck with the album. From here they took the album to Vox Recording Studios on Melrose Ave. in LA, in May 2017. This is where the first full band sessions were recorded. Some of the “more interesting” keyboard sounds within the album came from these sessions. But this did not really work out for the band. So, later in September, the band went to La Frette Studios, a residential recording studio on the outskirts of Paris. This was where the album really came together. The band spent about 5-6 weeks recording here. This was Jamie’s idea. La Frette ended up seeing the band bring in an extra 9 musicians to play with them. This also led to a ‘Pet Sounds’ style of recording. This was a large ensemble recording style with these multiple musicians and the band themselves on multiple different instruments including multiple of the same type. So, 2 drum kits, 3 guitars, a couple of pianos. This did not work for every track but did work for a few. (Specifically, The Ultracheese, but I will talk about this more later) Alex stated to BBC Radio 1 that, “A lot of the energy I feel like came from that session. It was all like together in La Frette.” Some of the La Frette sessions can be seen in the Warp Speed Chic short film shot by Ben Chappell.

THE ALBUM (Natural Progression and Influences)

The album overall is 11 tracks. Many believe that the album is a concept album revolving around the Hotel + Casino, but that is not the case. Each one is a “short story” in the words of Turner. Four Out Of Five and the title tracking being the most connected of the collection. "But in other ways it does seem like a collection of short stories and we named the collection after one of the stories which is this one [Tranquility Base Hotel + Casino]. The other ones belong in the same place as this." (Radio X Track by Track interview). The title of the album itself came from a variety of things. The two most prominent being: the fact it is a “place”, and the location of the Apollo 11 moon landing. One thing should be known about the idea of the hotel and casino being a place, Turner loves to think of albums of places. “I think of some of my favorite records as places that you can go and stay for a while, and sort of spurred me on to give this record the name of a place.” (iHeart) The other part of the name itself coming from the Apollo 11 landing may be considered more interesting. This is due to the fact it may have come from cups themed with the lunar landing. The title of course is not the only interesting thing about the album. The sound itself is a departure from their last, AM. But the band all feel like this was natural progression. But the AM era was where they felt they had went a little too far. Bassist Nick O’Malley told Mojo Magazine that he felt that they had lost the “realness” in a sense with that era. “I think we'd gone as far as we could go. I had these crazy ‘80s hair metal leggings on-stag. I'd worn ‘em on Halloween, which I'd done dressed as Macho Man Randy Savage, the WWF wrestler. That was a big sign that it was time to have a break.” And with that they took a break, a five year long one. Turner himself was also aware that he could not do what he did on AM again, “I was aware of the idea that, I don’t think I could have been singing about the things I was singing about on AM anymore.” (Studio Brussels) This was not the first time the band has faced this “challenge” of switching it up. The same thing had happened with their 3rd album Humbug. Drummer Matt Helders states, “We’ve had that challenge before, after the first album success where we had to just get on and make the second, or else forever be dwelling on it. But this one didn’t feel like that. I mean, maybe there’ll be fans we gained from AM that will be a bit confused now. Like, that was their first experience of the band... ‘and now they’re going this?’” (Mojo Magazine) But the band did not want to make AM 2.0. Guitarist Jamie Cook stated to Mojo Magazine, “If we were worried about that we would never have made Humbug. And to disappear for a couple of years then come back with AM2? I think people have been, ‘Fuck off.’” But of course, this move was not met without criticism. Many fans and critics found themselves in a state of “What the fuck happened to Arctic Monkeys?” upon their new era and album due to the departure of sound from AM. But Turner himself does not see this a full-fledged departure, “There’s an idea that this album’s radically removed from where we’ve been. I can sort of see that, but I don’t think it’s as much of a move as people suggest.” (LA Times)
The album takes multiple film influences, science fiction influences, and musical influences from film scores to help make these “short stories”. Science Fiction inspired Turner to explore other worlds to create the album. Worlds he made up as he went along. Three films from Jean-Pierre Melville served as main influences on the album. The films being Un Flic, Le Cercle Rouge, and Le Samouraï. The films mostly center around a jazz club. The set interiors of these films piqued Turner’s interest. “So, when I would sit at the piano and play these types of chords, I was thinking about those Melville interiors a lot.” (Pitchfork) Overall, the sci-fi influenced led to Turner accessing sort of a “vocabulary” to say, that helped paint this picture of this hotel and casino on the moon.
The album also has this “magic” that they just could not get upon other recording sessions. This led to many of the demo tapes and early session elements making it to the file cut. They wanted to make an intimate experience but just could not get it to be as intimate as some of the early recording.
The album itself is also “autobiographical” in a sense. Turner sees it as him talking to himself all throughout the 11 tracks. But this wasn’t his first time trying to write things towards himself. “I tried to write this kind of thing before, I just didn’t know how to, really. I think I tried and recognized, thankfully, that I wasn’t ready. It's like the natural place to have gone, after that first record, was somewhere around ‘ere.”

THE TRACKS

STAR TREATMENT
Opening the album, we have Star Treatment, an almost 6-minute-long track. The track itself beings with the line “I just wanted to be one of The Strokes.” A polarizing opening line for a polarizing album. This lyric was originally meant to be replaced, but Turner kept it in. He was using the “Scrambled Eggs” method for the album. The “Scrambled Eggs” method comes from Paul McCartney where he used “scrambled eggs” as temporary lyrics while writing The Beatles’ song ‘Yesterday’. This just happened to be one of those lines. But he took a liking to it the more time went on. The Strokes of course were a big influence on the band, they were even coined “The British Strokes” upon debut. But truth is, time has passed since then. About 12 years to be exact. “But when I circled back around to it I felt like it was right where it ought to be because of how it makes me think, “Shit. The last 12 years just flashed by.” There’s an honesty and a truth to it.” (Pitchfork) The passage of time is a constant theme within this track, with references to the ‘70s, the ‘80s. This track was the first thing Turner had written for the album. It came about during the last run of The Last Shadow Puppets (Turner’s side-project with Miles Kane). But this is also the most direct Turner was with himself on the album. Specifically, about songwriting. Lines like “The golden boy’s in bad shape,” refer to the fact he was lost with his songwriting and did not know where to go. But like how the track had started before the album itself had started, there’s a particular line that had existed since 2009. “Here ain’t no place for dolls like you and me,” That was the line. He had tried giving it away to others to put in a track, but no one would take it. So, he saved it because he didn’t have “follow up” per say yet but found it within this track. Another focal point for the track is the lounge singer and his backing band. This lounge singer theme can be seen through, but this is where it starts. This is where the lounge singer gets the name for his band. “I think I like the idea that there would be a longue singer sat at a bar, overhearing somebody being cut off from having another martini and hearing them say “Who are you to cut me off? The martini police?” and then this lounge singer thinking “That would be a good name for my backing band.”” (Radio X) But this track serving as the opening track overall sets a tone for the album. Upon sharing the music with others, they decided this would be the best place to start the album, a way to get people to hear it first and foremost. The other way to do this would have been releasing it as a single. But they took what can be seen a controversial move in this era of streaming and singles being more prominent than albums to release no singles. Like how this track led to Turner writing the rest of the album, it leads you, the listener, into the rest of the album.
ONE POINT PERSPECTIVE
One Point Perspective is the shortest track on the album, but it does pack quite a bit of a punch. With the title coming from a filming style, specifically one used a lot by Stanley Kubrick, a main influence on the album, we dig a bit more into the sci-fi roots. The track itself focuses on conversations, dreams, and how they are often interrupted. “It was informed perhaps by conversations I may have heard or been involved with. Under the influence of some narcotic draft or another. And fragments of those things are appearing the lyrics on this tune.” (Radio X) The track also focuses briefly on a made-up documentary called “Singsong ‘Round the Money Tree”. “I think specifically in the case of this documentary, there was something else there. And it came from the “If I’m gonna end up singing to a quiet room, like what comes before that.” Perhaps someone had told me they’d been singing along to a score or something.” (Radio X) Of course this brings us to the quiet rooms. What exactly are the quiet rooms? Well they’re exactly what they sound like, literal quiet rooms. But they also refer to isolation experienced by Turner while recording the album. With the vocal takes, especially the early tape ones, it would just be him, alone in the Lunar Surface with his eight-track. Of course, there’s also the line “Bear with me, man, I lost my train of thought.” This one is followed by a pause in the vocals and is usually played up for the live shows, but it represents that spot in a conversation where you really do lose your train of thought. Maybe it’s your mind wandering, maybe it’s that you are being interrupted and then trying to resume what you were talking about but forgot. But, it’s a universal feeling that ties together this track.
AMERICAN SPORTS
American Sports is an interesting track. Not just musically, but lyrically. Music wise an organ plays a main part in the track. The organ though was strangely organized upon recording. With Turner doing one bar, recording it, stopping, doing another bar. Eventually in later recording sessions they attempted to play it all together but just could not get the same effect/sound as the one from the eight-track tape, so they stuck with that. The vocals were also from the eight-track tape. Lyrical wise the track was pulled together by a line given to Turner from his grandfather. “I visited me Granddad one day and he said to me, ‘You know, I often think of phrases even there that I think you might be able to do something with.’ And I sort of went ‘All right.’ He likes to watch the horse-racing, and he began to tell me that whenever there’s what’s called a ‘steward’s inquiry,’- All you ever hear back after the steward’s inquiry is the phrase ‘the trainer's explanation was accepted by the steward.’ Which, as he said it I just thought was loaded.” (iHeart) This was what sparked the rest of the track. But there’s one question left, what the fuck is Lola? Well, a Lola is his writer’s block. Seen within the chorus with the line “And I never thought, not in a million years, that I’d meet so many Lolas.” He gives the writer’s block a bit of a personification. The track also gives us more callbacks to technology, another overlapping theme within the album. The narrator describes a video call with God, and a virtual reality mask stuck on ‘Parliament Brawl’. The parliament brawl also allows this track to get a little political. This can be seen heavily within the first line of the second verse, “Breaking news, they take the truth and make it fluid,” mostly referring to the phenomena of ‘Fake News’. Overall, the track makes for an interesting take combining writer’s block, political problems, and technology.
TRANQUILITY BASE HOTEL + CASINO
The title track serves as the fourth track to the album. Opening with imagery of Jesus in a day spa. But the track itself is built upon the idea of the character Mark. Mark of course is a character in the track who answers phones, mostly stating the name of the hotel and casino while asking where he can direct your call. First Turner pictured Mark at this phone, then he pictured where the phone was after that. This led of course to the album title, but it also leads back into the track itself. This of course is played off well in the video, but we’ll get to that in a bit. As the track builds you a bit more of this world of the hotel and casino on the moon, it also leads to some interesting lines. One in particular being “Kiss me underneath the moon’s sideboob.” Question of the year being, what the fuck is the moon’s sideboob? Well, the term was coined by guitarist Jamie Cook. “There was a really thin crescent moon in the sky, which Jamie from the band described as the moon's sideboob and I thought that was like quite profound.” (Studio Brussel) Another odd line within the track is “Technological advances really bloody get me in the mood”, this is a bit of a satire. But is also a slight observation. This observation being that technology sometimes changes society, especially when advances are made. These changes can be reflected in the way we talk to others, the way we act, and many other aspects of our life that we may not fully realize at first. For the record though, technological advances do not turn him on.
Onto the video, this was the second single from the album, and the second video. The video was released on the 23rd of July. Directed by Ben Chappell and Aaron Brown, the video continues an overlapping Kubrick inspired theme. Unfortunately, Turner is the only one from the band who fully makes an appearance in the video. The others are briefly shown through footage from their BCC Maida Vale Studios session appearing on displays though out the “sets”. Throughout this video there’s sections where the track and video break a bit for some flashing red lights followed by some “doots” taking over the audio, like the Four Out of Five video. The video was filmed at the Peppermill Reno, a hotel and casino within Las Vegas, Nevada. The Peppermill Reno were nice enough to write a blog post about the video breaking down the locations of the video. The video took two days of film to shoot within the area. The first location they filmed at was the Fireside Longue. This is the first time Turner, playing out the character of Mark, is handed a phone. The phone was handed to him by a worker from the Café Milano within the hotel and casino. Two different suites are featured throughout the video. The first being the Safari Adventure Suite. This is home to many of the hot tub scenes. The other being the Roman Opulence suite, this was the all gold room. There’s also the elevator shots that came from the 17th floor elevators. The wandering around the hotel and casino shots, mostly shot within the cube bar and the island buffet. And some phone call answering with the Tuscany Tower’s courtesy phone. There’s one other particular phone scene within this video I decided to save for last due the fact that it is going to come up a bit later. The second phone call is answered within a replica of the 1966 Batmobile via the Batphone. This serves as a nice callback to one of the later tracks on the album titled, Batphone. During these shots he also is fake driving with a projected image of a tunnel in the background, this also comes up in the Four Out of Five video, but we’ll get into that on that track.
GOLDEN TRUNKS
Believe it or not this the “love song” on the album. Yeah. The track is described by Turner as being a conversation between him and an unnamed female character he is falling for. But that all gets overshadowed by the semi-titular line, “The leader of the free world, reminds you of a wrestler wearing tight golden trunks.” The line does steal the show for being out there in a sense. The beginning of the line is a bit cumbersome to say the least, but it is almost melodic in another sense via the delivery. But this overall is just another part of the conversation with this female character. It may even be part of her imagination, you know, something she’s saying. Almost giving us a retrospective into her thoughts, feelings, and sense of humor. This all leads towards the bridge of the track. “Bendable figures with a fresh new pack of lies, Summat else to publicise, I'm sure you've heard about enough.” Almost showing us how fast the conversation is moving along. But also showing that you get to a point where you don’t know what to believe in the conversation or really what to believe in the track. The bridge also brings another interesting point forward. The words in particular, ‘Bendable Figures’ was almost the track’s title. “Which was because, someone got me a toy Batmobile, and it came with bendable figures of Batman and Robin, I assume, among others possibly. I’ve made a bit of a name for me since, and I mean, I am a fan of the old Batman book. I remember looking at this box and on the box it said ‘bendable figures’ and I don’t know. The news might have been on in the background, and here we are.” (iHeart) Another interesting point of the track is how straight the narrator and this female character are with each other. They both are basically telling each other that they fantasize about each other. She says it by whispering in his ear, he says it by responding to her straightly.
FOUR OUT OF FIVE
Another track with an interesting open, this one was originally different lyric-wise. Originally the words were ‘Karaoke and raspberry beret, in imaginative ways, and I get signed right then and there by a hotshot executive / I wasn’t expecting it that easy.’ Quite a departure from the final version that appears on the track. Four Out of Five served as the first single to the album. The track describes a taqueria on the roof the Tranquility Base Hotel + Casino, and more particularly how it is boasting four stars out of five. Mostly just how perfect scores are unattainable so a four of five is great enough, “Because the people that are in charge of giving the scores, they never give a perfect hundred.” (Beats 1) The taqueria itself is named “The Information-Action Ratio” this comes from Neil Postman's book ‘Amusing Ourselves to Death’. “I was attracted to the idea as soon as I heard that phrase; even though it was in this book from [1985] it still seemed relevant—more relevant than it probably was when the guy made it up.” (Pitchfork) The phrase itself explains that we don’t need the vast amount of information we receive and that we don’t do much about this information. But it’s a great name for a taqueria on the roof of a hotel and casino on the moon. The track itself also gives us more of the story about the hotel itself. Mostly its location, other than the moon itself. We learn that the entire moon is getting gentrified due to an exodus. There’s also a really cool play musically where the last chorus literally is lifted up another semitone after it’s said at the end of the bridge.
Onto the video for this one, the Kubrick fantasy filming begins here. Directed by Ben Chappell and Aaron Brown, the video was released on the 13th of May. The video was filmed at the Castle Howard in Yorkshire and the Munich Marienplatz station in Munich, Germany. The video starts with Turner playing a piano but then stopping to go look at the model of the hotel and casino. Throughout this video there’s sections where the track and video break a bit for some flashing red lights followed by some “doots” taking over the audio. Then, the video sees Turner taking the role of a director for some “Video Lifestyle Packages” for the hotel and casino. But it also gives us two different Turners. One with a beard, one without. The two doing seemingly parallel tasks within different areas. The other band members are also seen within the video, mostly jamming out. Especially with the nice little jam session with beardless Turner in the end. Due to the fact there’s two seemingly different Turners this has led to fan theories surrounding the video. Some stating that maybe the hotel and casino is some cover up for a mental hospital, another stating that maybe it’s both sides of his life (regulaprofessional). Assistants are also seen throughout the video setting up sets and other things, almost as if this was a film set. There’s also one scene in particular I’d like to touch on, the car scenes. This one is a bit important because it almost calls back the “haunt you via the rear-view mirror” line from Star Treatment. This scene was originally intended to be used in a video for Star Treatment, but they used it here instead. Overall, the video a bit of a visual treat with its cues from Stanley Kubrick and was more than a fitting visual return for Arctic Monkeys going into this era.
THE WORLD’S FIRST EVER MONSTER TRUCK FRONT FLIP
Yeah that’s a title to get your attention. The title comes from the actual event of the world’s first ever monster truck front flip. This was something that had caught Turner’s interest and will probably catch yours too upon just reading it. Sure, he may have only watched the video once, but the headline itself was what caught his attention. Later on, he used it create the base for what he was imagining with the track. “I think I imagined a sort of old presidents’ men style news room with just enough men in there. And sorta trying to get the editors attention like “You'll never believe it, somebody's done it forwards” and I think going off in my mind, perhaps and I thought, I don't know... It seems like that's where were at now innit, that sort of things are happening." (Radio X) The track itself lyrically describes TECHNOLOGY. More specifically, how people love their devices. “You push the button and we’ll do the rest” a repeating line that refers to how we’ve gotten so far that you can just push a button, and something will happen. Whether it be something within an app or data storage. Data storage is another important theme within the track. Our data is being stored everywhere. The track uses the data storage as a metaphor in many ways, with things like someone trying to breach into it. But overall the track itself just shows us how technology is changing us, references to technology changing us lie throughout. But we also see a bit of a jab at how no one wants to explain what the technology is exactly doing, “There are things that I just cannot explain to you, and those that I hope I don’t ever have to.” This wraps everything back around because it ties into the theme of just pushing a button and having everything done for us. We don’t see the background process, we don’t know what exactly they do, we just know that we can push a button and it will be done.
SCIENCE FICTION
True to the title, the track explores the themes of Science Fiction. Science Fiction is the “lobby model” of the album, as in it brings it all together. The track started with the idea of exploring Sci-Fi further and exploring worlds created from this, same with the album. One of the things in particular that sparked this was the Fassbinder film ‘World on a Wire’. Sci-Fi takes these themes and attempts to connect them to the real world and even Tranquility Base. Continuing the overarching theme of technology, this one takes the focus on how we’re viewing society due to technology, again. Making light touches on religion, we can see how in this “area” per say, science has won. But we also see how it feels like Sci-Fi is taking over in the form of a reality that feels strange and almost fictional at points. Technology keeps becoming a bigger part of our lives to the point where it almost disconnects us in a way. The narrator in this track wants to avoid that, he wants to stay within the life of his love. But it’s hard with things changing so much and society also changing. He states that he wants to make a “simple point” about peace and love but not too obviously. And this track almost feels like that point. But then it takes a bit of a turn at the end. We see the narrator take this back a bit and Turner begin to doubt if he’s wandering on too much with the track itself. “So, I tried to write a song to make you blush. But I’ve a feeling that the whole thing, may well just end up too clever for its own good.” Describing it as too clever shows that he feels like he’s overthinking it all. With a track with an almost double meaning like this it is a bit easy to understand why it may be “too clever”.
SHE LOOKS LIKE FUN
Ah yes, the rock and roll song of the record. Or well, the rock and roll without the roll. IT’S ALL ROCK MUSIC TO ALEX TURNER DAMMIT. This track has been described as frenzy but controlled. The structure of the track itself reflects that, “It goes like 3 verses in this tune before anything else changes. And I think like by that third one you get this sense of like you shouldn't be doing it again, it's time to move somewhere else. And eventually it does happen.” (Radio X) The main idea for this track came from the fact we almost create these “characters” within the virtual world. You know, your online presence through social media. The title itself is refrained throughout the track as the chorus and refers to how we just look a photo and decide what people are like. In this case the female titular character of the track is described to look like “fun”. Furthermore, this is joined but what may seem to be a non-sensical string of words. But, it’s meant to represent scrolling through a social feed like Instagram. “As far as the “cheeseburger” line, I was actually watching an episode of the show “High Maintenance,” and there’s a part where the person’s taking their picture with a cheeseburger and posting it and all this.” (Pitchfork) The verses focus more on the internet culture and the behavior of those within. Whether this behavior be something like a VR experience of New Year’s Eve at Bruce Wayne’s Manor or being a dickhead to someone. It’s about how we can almost do whatever we want with almost no restrictions in this virtual landscape. The bridge brings it to a point where we realize, it almost feels like everything is online nowadays. This follows by some lines of Turner criticizing himself for constantly talking about marital arts to people in bars. This mostly draws from Turner’s frequent kickboxing sessions. “Maybe sometimes I put stuff into a song to stop myself from doing it - I think I’m just realising that’s true. Like there’s a line in the middle of She Looks Like Fun about waffling on to strangers about martial arts in bars, and that was definitely something I was doing a lot of and was aware I needed to stop doing.” (Mojo Magazine) Also this marks the second time within the album where he says something regarding the music and it happens. This time being in the form of a key change. The last chorus features a key change that is in time with him stating it in the track.
BATPHONE
The all mighty Batman comes into a focus theme upon this track! Okay... Barely. A “Batphone” in the sense of this track is a direct line to Turner via his phone. The track deals with analysis and criticism of technology all at once. Opening on Turner realizing that he can just use a search engine to find a more interesting word to describe what he’s trying to say. Which, it wasn’t always like this, there was a time where you’d have to go through whole thesauruses to find this interesting words or phrases. Now they’re just a click/tap/touch away. Moving along we see that the narrator in the track specifically is of high class, stating that there’s much to discuss over a game of golf. Of course, that is phrased better within the track itself but for simplicities sake I’m just going to leave it at that. Then he gets into the fact life is a “spectator sport”. Through social media we sit and watch other people’s lives unfold like watching a sport almost. Then we get to a line that may seem more polarizing that it is. “I launch my fragrance called ‘Integrity’ I sell the fact that I can’t be bought.” Upon hearing this line for the first time you may think “What the fuck kind of pretentious bullshit is this trying to be?” Well, that’s exactly where you’re wrong. The idea of a fragrance called ‘Integrity’ is literally just that. “With something like that, I can’t sit here and tell you I wanted to make some comment about integrity and my relationship to it, and then make a fucking perfume out of it and write a smart-ass line like that. It’s more like I see the shape of the letters of “integrity” on the perfume bottle in my mind’s eye—once you know what that font looks like, then it writes itself after that.” (Pitchfork) Yeah, the line came from the visualization of perfume literally called ‘Integrity’. (Which, hilariously, there is one now called that.) Back to the lyrics, we see Turner talk about how he got “sucked into a hole” through a handheld device, this means his phone. Of course, we do all get a bit sucked into our phones now and again. It happens. And now it’s easier than ever. This being due to things like updates to make it easier to access things. The glow of the low beams within this track may be the car lights of your lover. But we do know that he will be by the Batphone if you need to get a hold of him at all. With our phones so close to us at all times, it’s almost like we all have personal Batphones. Then we get into how phones have changed over time. Coining them as “re-decorated” with new lights and sidebars upon them changing. Back the chorus again we see Turner sitting in his living room, with blinds closed, watching the lights of cars going by, but knowing that he'd know those of the car of his lover. Ending upon the panoramic windows again. These are said to be “looking out across your soul”, this is simply just our phone screens. They’re glass, windows are glass. But we look and see things on display including our souls, you know, our lives. Thus, making your soul being put on display through these “windows”. Sure, it’s not just your own soul, there are other people in this world, but it’s important you know that it is yours first and foremost on display. Always remember, whatever you put online, others will see.
THE ULTRACHEESE
Our closing track is a something that could be called Turner’s “Default Position” at this rate. But that does not mean it’s a bad thing. This track in particular is one where we see the Pet Sounds influenced recording style come to life, with multiple drum kits, multiple guitars, and pianos within the recording. The track sees Turner reflect on his past and how things have changed overtime. The title comes from the fact that the track may be a bit too “Cheesy” for everyone except himself. Songwriting of course has changed over time the most for him, upon talking about old tracks he stated, “It feels like we’re doing a cover or something when we play the first album, really, but that’s fine. I don’t hate doing that. It’s just come to the point where I play ‘Mardy Bum’ or something like that and it doesn’t even feel like mine anymore.” (BeatRoute) He feels disconnected from his old lyrics, which is sad but true statement. Of course, this track also touches quickly upon the themes of technology and politics throughout the track. But overall, it’s more just a personal reflection upon everything. Turner even describes himself as not being deep in thought, even if it looks like he was. He’s just living his life, good or bad, it’s just how everything is going down. The track ends the album on the line “I’ve done some things that I shouldn’t have done, but I haven’t stopped loving you once.” We all have things we regret in our lives. Sometimes that shit gets us out of nowhere and ends up on our minds. But we also see Turner telling his lover that he just loves them throughout it. Throughout all the good, the bad, the dirty bullshit, he still loves them.

THE B-SIDE (Anyways)

Yeah I was not finishing this without talking about the B-Side that was released with the title track on the 7” single. The B-side is titled ‘Anyways’ and was cut from the album. “I had a song that didn’t make this record with lyrics that mentioned both Bing Crosby and Randy Newman. And I just thought, You can’t do that. You can have one or the other. Just fucking calm down! You don’t want to make a song too lumpy.” (Vulture) Anyways here means the topic of a conversation and trying to change it. The narrator keeps trying to change the conversation. This can be seen throughout the track with a change in subject seemingly every few lines. One minute talking about toga parties, the next asking about if Mum and Dad are doing well. It’s just topic after topic in this “race” to Anyways. Technology appears again, with a quick mention of oversharing, something that is prevalent throughout the world of social media. Going back the Four Out of Five video from earlier we have a quick mention of a double life. This of course being the public/personal personas or home/professional personas. Much of the rest of the track just shows Turner bearing his all out there for everyone to see and making light of this. “You sort of reveal a piece of something as you’re writing and recording it. Then you find what you’re attracted to, scribble away a bit more of the dust and discover a bit more of the picture. Gradually, it becomes what it is. Each time you reveal another bit of it, it commits you to take the next step.” (BeatRoute) Some argue that this would have made a more “fitting” close for the album than The Ultracheese, other argue that it could have fit in literally anywhere on the album. Overall, I’m just glad it did get released it in the end.

REFLECTIONS IN THE SILVER SCREEN (An Outro)

I first listened to the album when it leaked. Shit on me all you want but I was just so curious. The whole no singles thing intrigued me alongside the sci-fi theme. I was looking for something different and I found it with this album. At the time did I know this was going to be my album of the year? No. Fuck, I barely knew anything about AM at the time apart from Do I Wanna Know?. I coined it as something along the lines of “What Death of A Bachelor could should been.” Turner constantly describes this album as one where he wanted to take people to a place, to this imaginary hotel and casino, and I was taken there upon first listen. I felt like I was sitting, watching a longue singer belt out tunes about his life. Of course, now on the right night I can recreate that feeling, but not always. But the album has just stuck me. Sure, many upon first hearing it found it off putting, but I loved it since first listen. If anything, this album was what made me a fan. This is what me look at AM and go “There’s something here I was missing.” Sure, it did take me months to act upon that, but I’m glad I did. Do I know where AM are going to go next? No. I don’t think any of us really do anymore. This album proved how unpredictable it is to calculate Arctic Monkeys in a way. Maybe the next record will be guitar based again, maybe not. We’ll only know when it comes, no matter how far away that is.

GOLDEN BOY’S NOT IN SUCH BAD SHAPE (Nominations)

Album:

2018 Mercury Prize Nomination
Best Alternative Music Album (Grammy Awards)

Four Of Five:

Best Rock Performance (Grammy Awards)

Updated List of things to Do - 2018 Edition

Happy New Year /Detroit! Every day people come to ask "What should I do in the city??" and this updated thread is our chance to tell them. It's been 3+ years since its been updated so a lot has changed. Keeping a similar format to the 2014 and 2011 editions comment below with any suggestion(s) and a short reason why you recommend it.
Everyone's collective picks will be added into the list below and then added to the sidebar. Closed businesses have already been removed, new Museums section now broken out, if you have any adds/deletes/edits to existing list, just shout it out, I'll leave this post as a sticky and open over the next week so all have a chance to contribute. See below:

Entertainment & Attractions

Public Spaces/Parks:

Belle Isle Michigans most visited State Park; from Sunset Point to the Conservatory and Aquarium, many beaches there's lots to discover here.
Eastern Market one of the largest and oldest open-air farmers markets in the country
Campus Martius highly regarded as one of the best city parks in the country and home to many events throughout the year. Home to Detroit's Christmas tree and an ice-skating rink in the winter.
Detroit People Mover it's not the most useful system for transit, but is actually a good way to see downtown in a quick 20-30 minutes
Riverwalk A walkable view of Canada and Detroit River.
Rouge Park for great outdoor times
Chandler Park
Historic Fort Wayne when open

Entertainment Venues:

El Club Music venue in Mexicantown that also has amazing NY style pizza
Marble Bar Music venue that also hosts WDET's monthly Moth storytelling
Garden Bowl/Magic Stick Historic bowling alley, dive bar and concert venue under one roof.
Baker's Keyboard Lounge top-notch jazz club
PJ's Lager House live music, local beer on tap
Theaters Detroit is home to the second largest theater district in the Fillmore, Fox Theater, Masonic Temple, Fisher Theater, Gem, Music Hall, St. Andrews, Detroit Opera House, City Theater, Majestic, Max M. Fisher Music Center

Seasonal:

Detroit City Football Club (also see /DetroitCityFC) amazing soccer team, nationally recognized.
Detroit Derby Girls Bouts take place at the Masonic Temple

Other:

Detroit Film Theatre 1,200 seat auditorium located at the DIA, catch a screening.
Cinema Detroit Movie theater located in Midtown, select indie films and new releases
Casinos We have three! Greektown, MGM Grand and Motor City.

Museums & Exhibits

Detroit Institute of Arts Free for Wayne, Oakland, and Macomb county residents.
Motown Museum the birthplace of Motown music, located in New Center
Henry Ford Museum/Greenfield Village Good for vistors if they have a few hours and transportation.
MOCAD Contemporary Art Museum in an amazing raw space, always changing exhibitions and a nice little shop inside. Located on Woodward in Midtown.
Michigan Science Center hands-on exhibits, IMAX Dome, Planetarium, mad scientists with liquid nitrogen and lightning. good for kids, located in Midtown.
Outdoor Adventure Center located in the newly restored Globe Trading Building.
Charles H. Wright Museum of African-American History
Tuskegee Airmen Museum
African Bead Museum
Dossin Great Lakes Museum located on Belle Isle
Ford Piquette Plant historic auto production facility and birthplace of the Model T.

Retail & Shopping

John K. King Books Downtown; Largest used bookstore in the state, located in an old glove warehouse
Pewabic Pottery near Islandview; Detroit original, lots of original ceramic art work to view and purchase
Third Man Records Retail store and Vinyl Manufacturing plant, owned/operated by Jack White
City Bird Midtown; Handmade goods from local and regional designers
People's Records Gratiot in Eastern Market; Internationally renowned treasure trove of rare vinyl, with a focus on Detroit produced stuff
Hello Records Corktown; Newer record shop with a great collection of new and old vinyl
Pure Detroit Downtown and New Center; Detroit themed t-shirts, magnets, etc.
Shinola Flagship Store watches, bikes and leather goods.
The Hub A Bicycle shop with a charitable bent and affordable bikes.
Avenue of Fashion Located at Livernois and Outer Drive; shopping district off the beaten path
Run Detroit Running gear store in Midtown, hosts a welcoming run club every Saturday morning at 8am
Paramita Sound Record store in West Village

Places to eat:

Coney Islands Lafayette or American, take your pick. Duly's Place in Mexicantown as another OG contender.
Supino Pizzeria Eastern Market; Best NY style pizza in the city, delicious fresh ingredients
Cass Cafe Restaurant and art gallery in Cass Corridor.
Green Dot Stables Grab your saddle, best sliders in the city.
Johnny Noodle King one of Detroit's ramen noodle houses
The Bronx Midtown. Classic dive bar with an equally classic jukebox and a burger that's out of this world.
Sweetwater Tavern Downtown, /Detroit's pick for 'Best Wings in the City'
Buddy's Pizza Original Detroit style pizza, well regarded by foodies and chefs.
Rock City Eatery on Woodward in Midtown. Cheap drinks and great food.
Dutch Girl Donuts Palmer Park. Best donuts in the city, been doing it the same way forever.
Mudgies Deli Corktown fresh sandwich shop with patio, recently expanded.
Cadieux Cafe Jazz music throughout the week and authentic Featherbowling.
Slow's BBQ Corktown. BBQ that put Corktown as a food destination on the map. Check out Slows-To-Go in Midtown if you're looking to skip the wait.
The Food Exchange famous for the Big Baby burger
Vincente's Great Cuban food. Salsa dancing. 20+ types of tequila
Ottava Via Italian joint in Corktown. Great food, laid back atmosphere.
Mercury Bar Good food and beer selection and the atmosphere is really cool.
Townhouse located Downtown
Bucharest Grill Amazing Shawarma and good prices, 3 locations around the city.
Scotty Simpson's Northwest side for fish and chips
Polish Village Cafe Eat your Polish Grandmother's cooking. A Hamtramck staple.
The Whitney Restaurant in a gorgeous historic mansion. Ambience is spectacular, food has gone through down periods. Good spot for an important date night. Don't be surprised to see a marriage proposal.
Giovanni's Arguably the best Italian food in the city. Neighborhood is what happens when you zone Heavy Industrial in Sim City, but the food, service and ambience are world-class.
London Chop House A famous Detroit restaurant name brought back to life, it's a classic dark-wood, old-school steakhouse. Frank Sinatra and Henry Ford II had tables there. Just opened a cigar bar in the same building for after-dinner lounging.
Roast "Iron Chef" Michael Symon's restaurant in the Westin Book Cadillac hotel. Things happen to meat here that you never thought possible.
Joe Muer's Seafood Like the London Chop House, a classic name from Detroit restaurant history brought back to life. Located in the ground floor of the GM Renaissance Center, lunch is comprised almost entirely of GM suppliers taking their customers out to lunch, but dinner is another matter.
Golden Fleece Greektown. "Best Gyro in town" and other greek specialties.
Mexicantown Most authentic Mexican food in the city, can't go wrong: Los Altos, Taqueria Lupitas, Taqueria Nuestra Familia, Taqueria El Rey, or Taqueria Mi Pueblo.
** Takoi** Northern Thai inspired restaurant. James Beard finalist
Selden Standard Fine dining, local, small plates. Also great brunch.
Wright & Co Fine dining, local, small plates.
Republic Fine dining, local, small plates.
ima Corktown, Udon noodles.
Flower's of Vietnam Vietnamese restaurant run by a Lebanese chef in an old Mexicantown coney. Only in Detroit.
Polonia Restaurant Home style Polish and Eastern European food, located right next to Polish Village cafe in Hamtramck.
Apparatus Room Fine restaurant & bar in the Detroit Foundation Hotel near Cobo Center.
People's Bakery One of Southwest's finest local shops.

Brunch Spots

Cliff Bells Foxtown. Bottomless mimosas and bloody Mary's and great selection of French and Soul Food inspired dishes
Hudson Cafe Downtown. Red velvet pancakes, graham cracker-crusted French toast, and Voodoo Eggs Benedict
Seva Midtown. great Brunch for Vegan's and Vegetarian's- Small but good beewine selection
Brooklyn Street Local Corktown. banana pancakes with caramelized walnuts, an inevitably delicious quiche-of-the-day, and of course, the Hangover Special, and some damn good Poutine!
La Dolce Vita North Detroit. smooth jazz, salmon hash, and the shrimp Benedict make for a fabulous brunch experience
The Dime Store Downtown. a great selection of Omelets, Benedicts, Sandwiches, and Hash (from Executive Chef Josh, who has spent 2 decades in award winning restaraunts in Chicago, NYC, and A2) and of course, BOOZE! (Their Duck Rueben is out of this world)
Foran's Grand Trunk Pub Downtown. Great meal options throughout the day but their brunch is great (May I recommend their Corktown sandwich or the Lobster Benedict) with a great local beer selection to boot
Rose's Fine Foods Rivertown. Homesick for mom's cooking? This place has incredible baked goods and delicious sandwiches that make you feel right at home
The Clique Breakfast spot on Jefferson in Rivertown area
Honest Johns Midtown. Good all around menu, drink list and Chicken & Waffles.
Detroit Institute of Bagels Traditional bagels plus soups & sandwiches in an airy, industrial space with counter seating.

Places to drink:

Breweries:

Batch Brewing Co. Corktown small batch brewery with 15+ beers on tap and Louisiana-style food.
Detroit Beer Co. Great beer as well as great food. The Hair of the Dog burger is fantastic.
Atwater Detroit brewery near the Riverfront
Brew Detroit Contract brewing facility with a great open space and their own brews. Across the park from Batch. The Loaded Die hosts Tuesday boardgame nights here.
Eastern Market Brewing Company The large pink elephant mural is hard to miss.
Founders taproom Needs no introduction
Motor City Brewing Works Midtown; Microbrewery with delicious beer and uniquely-topped pizzas, rooftop seating in the Summer
Jolly Pumpkin Brewery Tap room specializing in Sour Beer and Ciders

Bars:

Motor City Wine located in Corktown.
SugarHouse Carefully crafted cocktails in a hunting lodge sharing a wall with Slow's. Hells yea.
Woodbridge Pub
Cafe D'Mongo's a unique and eclectic "speakeasy." reasonably priced and strong cocktails, live music every night (Fri & Sat only)
Cliff Bells a solid jazz club right downtown (could be under entertainment as well)
Dakota Inn Rathskeller a German underground beer hall that transports you straight to Europe, featuring German food, music, and beer. Especially popular during Oktoberfest (mid-September to end of October).
Jacoby's Biergarten good selection of draft beer, solid German food, and a huge international beer selection
Jolly Ol' Timers North Cass Corridor. If they're open, you won't find a bar full of more interesting people.
Old Miami Midtown. A Veterans bar, During the summer, the back yard is the best place to drink in the city.
Foran's Grand Trunk Pub Downtown; great selection of local Michigan beers, with decent food to accompany it
Northern Lights Lounge New Center bar with a great patio and decent food.
Two Way Inn One of the oldest bars in the city
The Skip Popular alley bar in The Belt
Ready Player One Barcarde
Checker BaOffworld Arcade Burger bar & Barcade near Campus Martius

Coffeeshops:

Astro Coffee a popular cafe in Corktown
Great Lakes Coffee Roasting Co. Chill coffee bar with beer, wine and some food.
Socre Tea A tea shop/cafe in midtown. Tucked away on Garfield and John R. Super quiet and relaxing.
Ashe Supply Co. Small-batch java drinks plus pastries, sandwiches and other goods just off Grand Circus Park in Downtown
Dessert Oasis Espresso, house-roasted coffee & pastries served in a brick-walled space with artwork & live music. Good window views located Downtown in Capital Park.

Landmarks

The Grand Lobbies of Detroit See here: http://imgur.com/a/tqC8i
Guardian Building another beautiful example of Art Deco architecture
Fisher Building "the worlds largest art project" and a prime example of Detroit's rich Art Deco history
The Fist of Joe Louis Woodward/Jefferson Ave
Ford Piquette Plant historic auto production facility and birthplace of the Model T.
The Spirit of Detroit Woodward/Jefferson Ave.
Hart Plaza Found along the Riverwalk; a public space that's home to Movement, Detroit Jazz Fest and other festivals throughout the year.
Senator Palmer’s Font Hill Log House and fountain in Palmer Park (when open).

"Karma is for closers!" It's the SquaredCircle Stock Report, May 25th 2017

Things to do in Detroit - Once and for all, again.

Alright its been 3+ years since we created Detroit's official sidebar "list of things to do" and a lot has changed. People keep asking so let's give it another go. I'll leave this post as a sticky for the next week so everyone's brains can stew over the best of the best in the city.
Keeping the same format as last time, comment with your suggestion(s) and a short reason why you would recommend it. Everyone's collective picks will be added into the list below.
Places to eat:

Coney Islands Lafayette or American, take your pick.
Supino Pizzeria Eastern Market; Best NY style pizza in the city, delicious fresh ingredients
Motor City Brewing Works Midtown; Microbrewery with delicious beer and uniquely-topped pizzas, rooftop seating in the summer
Cass Cafe Restaurant and art gallery in Cass Corridor.
Green Dot Stables Grab your saddle, best sliders in the city.
Johnny Noodle King Detroit's noodle house, a block from Green Dot on Fort St., owned by the same guy.
Rock City Eatery in Hamtramck. Cheap drinks and great food.
Dutch Girl Donuts Palmer Park. Best donuts in the city, been doing it the same way forever.
Roma Cafe Detroit's oldest Italian restaurant.
Mudgies Deli Corktown fresh sandwich shop.
Cadieux Cafe Jazz music throughout the week. and featherbowling.
Slow's BBQ Corktown. Hipsters will howl that it's overrated, but are you going to trust them or Slow's fantastic reputation that constantly sees them on national travel shows?
The Food Exchange famous for the Big Baby burger
Vincente's Great Cuban food. Salsa dancing. 20+ types of tequila
Ottava Via Italian joint in Corktown. Great food, laid back atmosphere.
Mercury Bar Good food and beer selection and the atmosphere is really cool.
Bucharest Grill Amazing Shawarma and good prices, located inside Park Bar.
The Clique Breakfast spot on Jefferson in Rivertown area
Northwest Side foods: Scotty Simpson's for fish and chips, Nu Wave (seafood), Aunt Betty's (soul food), J's Cafe (soul food)
Sweetwater delicious wings
Buddy's Pizza @ Conant/7 mile. Original Detroit style pizza well regarded by foodies and chefs
Mexicantown Can't go wrong: Los Altos, Taqueria Lupitas, Taqueria Nuestra Familia, Taqueria El Rey, or Taqueria Mi Pueblo.
Golden Fleece located in Greektown, best Gyro in town.
Coach Insignia high atop the Renaissance Center, best view you'll get of the city from a dinner table, food is pretty good as well.
Polish Village Cafe Eat your Polish Grandmother's cooking. A Hamtramck staple.
Guns and Butter Detroit's only Michelin Star style dining experience.
The Whitney Restaurant in a gorgeous historic mansion. Ambience is spectacular, food has gone through down periods. Good spot for an important date night. Don't be surprised to see a marriage proposal.
Giovanni's Arguably the best Italian food in the city. Neighborhood is what happens when you zone Heavy Industrial in Sim City, but the food, service and ambience are world-class.
London Chop House A famous Detroit restaurant name brought back to life, it's a classic dark-wood, old-school steakhouse. Frank Sinatra and Henry Ford II had tables there. Just opened a cigar bar in the same building for after-dinner lounging.
Coach Insignia Restaurant at the top of the GM Renaissance Center. Whatever restaurant has been in this space has always been more about the view than the food and this is no exception, but the view makes up for it.
Roast "Iron Chef" Michael Symon's restaurant in the Westin Book Cadillac hotel. Things happen to meat here that you never thought possible.
Joe Muer's Seafood Like the London Chop House, a classic name from Detroit restaurant history brought back to life. Located in the ground floor of the GM Renaissance Center, lunch is comprised almost entirely of GM suppliers taking their customers out to lunch, but dinner is another matter.
Dangerously Delicious Pies Midtown. Meat and sweet pies of several varieties. Located in the back of 3rd street bar.
Golden Fleece Greektown. "best Gyro in town" and other greek specialties.
Taqueria Lupita's** Mexicantown

Brunch Spots

Cliff Bells Foxtown. Bottomless mimosas and bloody Mary's and great selection of French and Soul Food inspired dishes
Fountain Bistro Campus Martius. Bottomless Mimosas and Bloody Mary Bar. Good place for french toast.
Hudson Cafe Downtown. Red velvet pancakes, graham cracker-crusted French toast, and Voodoo Eggs Benedict every day (Sunday: Expect a wait)
Seva Midtown. great Brunch for Vegan's and Vegetarian's- Small but good beewine selection
Brooklyn Street Local Corktown. banana pancakes with caramelized walnuts, an inevitably delicious quiche-of-the-day, and of course, the Hangover Special, and some damn good Poutine!
La Dolce Vita North Detroit. smooth jazz, salmon hash, and the shrimp Benedict make for a fabulous brunch experience
The Dime Store Downtown. a great selection of Omelets, Benedicts, Sandwiches, and Hash (from Executive Chef Josh, who has spent 2 decades in award winning restaraunts in Chicago, NYC, and A2) and of course, BOOZE! (Their Duck Rueben is out of this world)
Harmonie Garden Midtown. Middle Eastern Food meets Classic American Brunch!
Foran's Grand Trunk Pub Downtown. Great meal options throughout the day but their brunch is great (May I recommend their Corktown sandwich or the Lobster Benedict) with a great local beer selection to boot
Macabees Midtown. endless mimosas, champagne chocolate chip buttermilk pancakes, brisket benedict, and the salmon wrap are all delicious
Rose's Fine Foods Rivertown. Homesick for mom's cooking? This place has incredible baked goods and delicious sandwiches that make you feel right at home
Honest Johns Midtown. Good all around menu, drink list and Chicken & Waffles.

Places to drink:

Great Lakes Coffee Roasting Co. Chill coffee bar with beer, wine and some food.
Socre Tea A tea shop/cafe in midtown. Tucked away on Garfield and John R. Super quiet and relaxing.
Park Bar Downtown; Great beer selection, beautiful windows, delicious shwarma and curly fries from the Bucharest Grill next door
Motor City Wine located in Corktown.
PJ's Lager House live music, local beer on tap
Woodbridge Pub
Detroit Beer Co. Great beer as well as great food. The Hair of the Dog burger is fantastic.
SugarHouse Carefully crafted cocktails in a hunting lodge sharing a wall with Slow's. Hells yea.
Cafe D'Mongo's a unique and eclectic "speakeasy." reasonably priced and strong cocktails, live music every night (Fri & Sat only)
Cliff Bells a solid jazz club right downtown (could be under entertainment as well)
Dakota Inn Rathskeller a German underground beer hall that transports you straight to Europe, featuring German food, music, and beer. Especially popular during Oktoberfest (mid-September to end of October).
Jacoby's Biergarten good selection of draft beer, solid German food, and a huge international beer selection
Astro Coffee a popular cafe in Corktown
Foran's Grand Trunk Pub great selection of local Michigan beers, with decent food to accompany it
Old Miami Inexpensive drinks in your uncle's basement. On Cass in southern midtown.
Zenith Cuban/mexican fusion in new center, in the Fisher Building. Also they have a tiki bar.
Jolly Ol' Timers North Cass Corridor. If they're open, you won't find a bar full of more interesting people.
Old Miami Midtown. A Veterans bar, During the summer, the back yard is the best place to drink in the city.

Retail & Shopping:

City Bird Midtown; Handmade goods from local and regional designers
John K. King Books Downtown; Largest used bookstore in the state, located in an old glove warehouse
People's Records Midtown; Internationally renowned treasure trove of rare vinyl, with a focus on Detroit produced stuff
Hello Records Corktown; Newer record shop with a great collection of new and old vinyl
Pure Detroit Downtown and New Center; Detroit themed t-shirts, magnets, etc.
Shinola Flagship Store watches, bikes and leather goods.
Pewabic Pottery lots of original ceramic art work to view and purchase
The Hub A Bicycle shop with a charitable bent and affordable bikes.
Livernois and Outer Drive shopping district off the beaten path

Entertainment & Attractions

Belle Isle
Detroit Institute of Arts Free for Wayne, Oakland, and Macomb county residents. Concerts every Friday night in the Rivera Court (probably one of the most fantastic and important pieces of public art in the world). Just for the atmosphere alone it's worth going, and the music is generally great as well.
Detroit Film Theatre 1,200 seat auditorium located at the DIA, catch a screening.
Riverwalk a walkable view of Canada and Detroit River
Casinos we have three! Greektown, MGM Grand and Motor City.
Motown Museum New Center; Studio tours of the houses, really cool stuff.
MOCAD Midtown; Contemporary art museum in an amazing raw space, always changing exhibitions and a nice little shop inside.
Detroit City Football Club amazing soccer team, nationally recognized.
Detroit Derby Girls at the Masonic Temple
Garden Bowl/Magic Stick bowling alley, bar and concert venue under one roof.
Stadiums Ford Field, Comerica Park, Joe Louis Arena
Theaters Detroit is home to the second largest theater district in the Fillmore, Fox Theater, Masonic Temple, Fisher Theater, Gem, Music Hall, St. Andrews, Detroit Opera House, City Theater, Majestic, Max M. Fisher Music Center
Detroit People Mover it's not the most useful system for transit, but is actually a good way to see downtown in a quick 20-30 minutes
Eastern Market one of the largest and oldest open-air farmers markets in the country
Baker's Keyboard Lounge top-notch jazz club
Movement Festival worldwide-recognized annual Electronic music festival held every Memorial Day Weekend
Detroit Jazz Festival largest free jazz festival in the world (self-proclaimed, at least) held every Labor Day Weekend
Detroit Beer Festival one of four Michigan Brewers Guild annual festivals held the last weekend of October
Campus Martius highly regarded as one of the best city parks in the country and home to many events throughout the year. Home to Detroit's Christmas tree and an ice-skating rink in the winter.
Michigan Science Center hands-on exhibits, IMAX Dome, Planetarium, mad scientists with liquid nitrogen and lightning. good for kids, located in Midtown.
Charles H. Wright Museum of African-American History
Tuskegee Airmen Museum
Rouge Park for great outdoor times
Chandler Park
Historic Fort Wayne when open
African Bead Museum
Outdoor Adventure Center located in the newly restored Globe Trading Building,
Dakota Inn Rathskeller Oktoberfest Six Mile and Woodward-ish. One of the coolest activities in all of Detroit, somehow unknown even among hardcore Detroiters.

Landmarks

The Grand Lobbies of Detroit See here: http://imgur.com/a/tqC8i
The Fist of Joe Louis Woodward/Jefferson Ave
Fisher Building "the worlds largest art project" and a prime example of Detroit's rich Art Deco history
Guardian Building another beautiful example of Art Deco architecture
Ford Piquette Plant historic auto production facility and birthplace of the Model T.
The Spirit of Detroit Woodward/Jefferson Ave.
Hart Plaza
Senator Palmer’s Font Hill Log House and fountain in Palmer Park (when open).
Son House in Mt. Hazel Cemetary for the music historian.
Tigers Stadium field located at Trumbull & Michigan Ave. walk the grounds at the former playing field for Detroit Tigers.

Edit #1: Added most of the suggestions from the comments already- but still a lot to get through! If you have descriptions, or tips for any of the places listed or would like to add more, just leave it below
Edit #2: I've been slacking on the updates- but officially replaced the list in the sidebar! Will work on adding everyones in coming days. stay tuned.

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Casino Font - 1001 Free Fonts

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